I just want to be rich

[Champagneandricecakes]

I just do.

I was never materialistic, never really thought like this, looking back I never thought about a career to make money or to look for a partner with ambition/good career/ability to make money. I know so many women/friends who did…I didn’t think of any of it.
I’m 45 now, I’ve had a good career (teacher) and it’s been fulfilling, but hard work and is clearly not a high paid job.
When I had Dd, it kicked in more..this feeling of wanting to have more money, I’d love her to go to private school, have horseriding and piano lessons etc. She has a wonderful life and I work hard for her to have so many lovely things and a lovely lifestyle, but it leaves nothing for me.
I live abroad in a very wealthy area-multimillion euro villas, international schools, nice cars etc and I suppose being around it so much, really highlights it.
I nevet thought this way when younger, but wish I’d done things differently. I now see the difference in being able to afford private healthcare, dental care, great education, flexibility in working, time and freedom in your life etc etc

I’m the same. Not even wanting to be filthy rich but just much more comfortable. I would like to own our own home for a start. Things in this country got out of control and so I never bought.
We have what we need and that’s more than I aspired for as a young adult but now I’m older (also 45) I want so much more and have no real way to get it other than win lottery 🙄 I think things getting so much dearer in general starts to make you feel like your quality of living is slipping and I don’t want it to.

I'm intrigued that people associate being wealthy with having more downtime...

Unless you're a stay at home parent of a wealthy spouse then you're likely to have fairly little downtime.

Most people in £200k jobs work extremely long hours.

"The only things I think worth having with money are privacy and security, everything else is just not necessary and is either a drain on old moneyed resources or is blatant blinging it for attention."

To be honest I don't care about labels or splashing lots of cash.

Money gives you a lot more than this that is worthwhile...

• Time is the biggest. A cleaner, a housekeeper, a gardener, all your DIY and decorating done, even a chef if you're rich enough

• Experiences, travel, the 'good life'

• Options. Freedom. Choices.

There are loads of people on Mumsnet who profess to earn salaries like thsi and work strictly within office hours and even then they aren't particularly stretched. It's not the reality of the people I know. Dh's clients were texting and emailing him up to 9:30 last night, he'll start getting texts from them on Sunday afternoon as they start preparing for their week - there ain't no easy hours in our industry.

I'd don't agree that everything else is a drain - you choose what you like, when you have money you can decide whether you want the designer or the Ikea sofa - there's no compulsion to keep up with the Jones - I could wish we had more time - but what would we do with it? - we have to be engaged with something in life - sitting around watching TV is not exactly satisfying - I'd rather be actively doing something. Mind you I could do with a gardener - I'm never so bored that I want to garden.

99% of teachers are really not doing an amazing job and I'd be shocked if any teacher agreed with you - there are many who are coasting along doing as little as possible. Kids are successful in spite of their state school education, the whole thing is a total disaster, it fails so many kids, it really is in a disgraceful - state but the teachers don't carry the blame for that.

I think virtually everyone would?

@Coyoacan

I find solving life's problems keeps me alive and distracted. I am never more depressed than when I don't have any tangible problems.

100% this. With bells on.

Surely deep down you know people aren't better than you because they are richer?

There's a great book called Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton that explores his myth, it's really interesting and helps get rid of that false belief.

I think a lot of your issue is- comparison is the thief of joy and the super rich around you are causing you a false comparison.

Good luck getting rid of this mindset, you'll be loads happier when you do.

Oh please! Just don't! It's difficult to focus on that when you're cold and ill and unable to get a GP appointment and worried about how to afford to pay for basics like milk and fruit and veg, not to mention petrol.

But @humblemeep that is not the OP's situation at all. She has described a nice comfortable life. Obviously advice would be different if she was cold and couldn't afford enough food etc.

- I could wish we had more time - but what would we do with it? - we have to be engaged with something in life - sitting around watching TV is not exactly satisfying
Responses like this are fascinating because while I agree we need to be engaged with something in life, I can’t imagine not being able to think of what to do with time if I had the luxury of it!

Reading
Writing
Travel
Painting
Studying
Cooking
Gardening
Walking

I could live a very satisfying life if I had the money! I’d outsource all domestic drudgery, particularly the thinking about it, and enjoy my garden and the countryside and the sea, writing every morning and reading or being creative in the afternoons. Probably wouldn’t even have time for TV! I used to live the poor version of this life before kids – kept my outgoings small and had a TINY flat and thus tiny mortgage, freelanced as little as possible to maximise my free time, and it was wonderful but I was busy and didn’t watch TV. I wrote novels and made things.

Anyway, there’s no AIBU here OP: money is nice and obviously life is better with it than without.

After living with parents, Dad could not care less about money, lovely man who worked hard and died in his fifties. Mother was a professional nagger and never shut up about money and the lack of it (we were no different to any other family).

I sort of made up my mind, if money or the lack of it bothered me, I'd get off my arse and work for it. I have worked all my life.

I've retired now and I'm comfortably off, have no debts. I'm happy with my lot. There are things I can't afford like a Bentley continental but it immaterial because I don't want one.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I was a SAHM for 14 years - I could do all that stuff when the kids went to school and I'm as happy working now as not working then, my biggest fear is being stuck doing the same things, monotony is a prison for me. So again it comes down to choice and the luxury of it - we run our own business, but we don't need the money but we do need a little bit of grit and challenge in our lives.

@humblemeep - yes I get that but OP isn't talking about so being so poor that they can't afford bread and milk or utilities. OP lives abroad in a wealthy area and wants to be 'rich' so they can afford private school, piano lessons and horse riding. It's not really the same.

I always like thinking of Tony Robbins going on about success and how he made it with his many mansions and holiday homes and yachts, only to literally lose his shit when he saw someone else had a castle. He felt like a miserable failure.

People with this mindset will never be happy. Enjoy your extra money if you get it, OP. It won't change shit, because it was never about material wealth. And deep down, you know it.

Most international schools don't charge their staff to send their kids there, so they get the private education for free.

Why are you so sure your putative child wouldn’t have been suited to an ordinary comp?

I just want 1 million.

No child is suited to a bog standard comp which is why house prices near outstanding (although I don't know how much reliance you can put on what Ofsted says but that is all we have) comps and grammars are so much higher.

Where I live at the moment (the only place I could afford a small detached house) a lot of the parents don't care about education. I wouldn't want my child to go to a school with their kids.

At least if you can afford to buy near a good school, you know that the other parents would be like you.