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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just want to be rich

121 replies

Champagneandricecakes · 30/03/2023 20:24

I just do.

I was never materialistic, never really thought like this, looking back I never thought about a career to make money or to look for a partner with ambition/good career/ability to make money. I know so many women/friends who did…I didn’t think of any of it.
I’m 45 now, I’ve had a good career (teacher) and it’s been fulfilling, but hard work and is clearly not a high paid job.
When I had Dd, it kicked in more..this feeling of wanting to have more money, I’d love her to go to private school, have horseriding and piano lessons etc. She has a wonderful life and I work hard for her to have so many lovely things and a lovely lifestyle, but it leaves nothing for me.
I live abroad in a very wealthy area-multimillion euro villas, international schools, nice cars etc and I suppose being around it so much, really highlights it.
I nevet thought this way when younger, but wish I’d done things differently. I now see the difference in being able to afford private healthcare, dental care, great education, flexibility in working, time and freedom in your life etc etc

OP posts:
Justforlaffs · 30/03/2023 21:26

We are wealthy - we have a very nice life but what I would say is that my dh works extremely hard - he's in his 50's now and still having to work as hard as ever. Hopefully it won't always be like this but it isn't always a bed of roses - I sometimes really wish he'd slow down - it wouldn't matter to me if we had to move house or move to a worse area etc - I just worry about how hard he works sometimes and the pressure he puts himself under to provide us with a certain lifestyle. I don't want him to be one of these blokes who works themselves to the bone then retire mid-60's and drop dead after a week or two!!(i know of a few men this has happened to)

SueVineer · 30/03/2023 21:35

IMustDoMoreExercise · 30/03/2023 21:21

Why? There is no way I would want my child to go to a normal comp and I knwo that I wouldn't be able to afford to live near a good comp or a grammar school.

Show quote history

Wtf is wrong with a “normal comp?

Summerhillsquare · 30/03/2023 21:37

She doesn't want "so many lovely things", she wants you.

girlfriend44 · 30/03/2023 21:40

BMW6 · 30/03/2023 20:28

What's your AIBU?

Just about everyone would like to be wealthy! Why wouldn't you?

Exactly, but remember op money dosent buy your health which is very important.

Liebig · 30/03/2023 21:44

You want to be rich. What you should have wished for was to be happy and content.

But sure, money works too. No unhappy and fucked up rich people on this rock.

Abcdefgh1234 · 30/03/2023 21:50

Oh OP! This is soo me.

i’m bot from UK, i’m from Indonesia. When i was a kid my parents are rich. Very very rich, we flew with private jets, private school, even i have a pony and did horse riding. Sadly when the economic crash my parents business not survive and gone into debt.

now i live in the UK, married british man. We are very fortunate still. DH is high earner, not six figures yet. We have comfortable live but no where near when i was a kid. I want to give my children the life that i used to live. I couldn’t even afford private school here. Just keep dreaming..

Angelonthewall · 30/03/2023 21:57

girlfriend44 · 30/03/2023 21:40

Exactly, but remember op money dosent buy your health which is very important.

Show quote history

Not entirely true - wealthier people are healthier and live longer and you can afford private health care rather than sit in an NHS waiting list for years waiting on surgery.

Boringlocalnews · 30/03/2023 22:15

It’s not always what you think it might be. I’m older (60s) and very comfortably off, but never paid higher rate tax for instance, home owner etc. One of my (adult) children is already on 150k at 30, and if their career continues they will be very wealthy in time.

I have a client through work who is a multi millionaire. Private jets, multiple houses in different countries, etc. He is the most uncontent man I know. He is always unhappy about something, whether that be that the food on the private jet isn’t up to standard (I’ve been on one with him once) or that people aren’t doing things the way he wants. So money most definitely does not buy happiness. My life is much more content with the much lower standard if living and bank balances than he will ever have.

DarkShade · 30/03/2023 22:29

Me too! If I could do my life again I'd try and earn much more money. Stuck in low paying jobs when really I could have earned much more.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 30/03/2023 22:37

OP, I am in a similar position and I wish I had chosen a high paying career.

I do the lottery and hope.

MultipleVeganPies · 30/03/2023 22:37

Well, what can you change about that OP? New career? Teach abroad? Earn more in a different place? Explore your options. I have a teacher friend in Singapore who can send her kids to the school she works for (almost) nothing. Do her job provides income + private school places... there are options out there

I think the most valuable thing you can give your kids is time, though, not money (once a certain level of financial security is reached, ie being able to pay food and bills)

Dracuuule · 30/03/2023 22:40

What is a high paying career?
I know a gp, a city accountant, a solicitor, an engineer. We're in the south and I don't know anyone on those kinds of salaries.

Dorothyspeaks30 · 30/03/2023 22:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Original poster
Champagneandricecakes · 30/03/2023 23:21

@Dorothyspeaks30 Hi, I think you need to make your own thread

OP posts:
JamSandle · 30/03/2023 23:56

IMustDoMoreExercise · 30/03/2023 20:42

That is actually one of the reasons why I didn't have children.

I knew that I would never be able to send them to private school.

I really get this. I went to an awful public school and although I've turned out fine, I really wouldn't want to send my child into the hell I experienced in a London secondary school. I despised it.

Dorothyspeaks30 · 31/03/2023 00:27

Champagneandricecakes · 30/03/2023 23:21

@Dorothyspeaks30 Hi, I think you need to make your own thread

Sorry, I thought that was what I did but clearly I made a mistake and it won’t allow me to delete :/

pottydimley · 31/03/2023 07:56

Champagneandricecakes · 30/03/2023 20:40

@rattlinbog Thats the thing, all
around me is mainly wealthy people, friends etc, so it really highlights it. If I
returned back to the U.K., I’m sure it wouldn’t be like this. But I can’t help thinking, why them, not me! They’re clearly better as they’ve made lots of money

They're not better than you, they've just had different opportunities and made different choices. It sounds like you're doing great, living abroad and making a good life for you and DD. Enjoy what you have- there are plenty of people who don't have your advantages or lifestyle!

RonObvious · 31/03/2023 08:05

Right there with you! Went into academia, which obviously has its plus points, but salary certainly isn’t one of them. I spend my time coding (which I love!) and gritting my teeth and muttering every time I read a thread where the advice to earn lots of money is to learn how to code.

alwaysmovingforwards · 31/03/2023 08:27

Only thing I learned money can buy that's of real value to me, having been rich and having been poor, is freedom to spend your time as you wish. That's it.

And how you spend time is still important, happiness is still dependent on one's character.

honeylulu · 31/03/2023 08:42

I think a lot of people, especially young women, don't think enough about earning power when they choose a career path. That was certainly true for me. I spent the early years in publishing- enjoyable but unstable and poorly paid. I always thought until then that I wasn't materialistic, didn't care about money as long as I had an interesting job and could get by. But then it dawned on me that I did want to be able to buy a house, to have a reliable car and go on holiday once a year. I'm now a lawyer and it's hard work, long hours but high pay. I'm encouraging my kids to go into tech. That seems to be where the good money and work life balance is!

ShippingNews · 31/03/2023 08:43

IMustDoMoreExercise · 30/03/2023 20:42

That is actually one of the reasons why I didn't have children.

I knew that I would never be able to send them to private school.

Odd reason to not have kids !

Haus1234 · 31/03/2023 08:44

OP, the obvious answer is surely to teach at a private school that will give your daughter a discounted / free place?

ShippingNews · 31/03/2023 08:47

Haus1234 · 31/03/2023 08:44

OP, the obvious answer is surely to teach at a private school that will give your daughter a discounted / free place?

Ha ha, so true ! My DD chooses to teach at a very good private school for boys, which also has a sister school nearby. Her DD and DS attend these very good schools for about 30% of the normal fees.

UWhatNow · 31/03/2023 08:50

JamSandle · 30/03/2023 23:56

I really get this. I went to an awful public school and although I've turned out fine, I really wouldn't want to send my child into the hell I experienced in a London secondary school. I despised it.

Show quote history

My kids had a rough time at an ‘outstanding’ secondary but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth them existing at all! They are the joy of my life.

Onegingerhead · 31/03/2023 08:50

Can we have a thread for “get rich over 40”, lottery win aside?
Like, can this happen realistically? Is there a hope?
I’m fat, ugly and married fyi (can’t bag a rich one)

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