Is it selfish to ride pillion on a bike with DH?

[Fifi1010]

My DH has a new motorcycle he wants me to ride pillion I have all the correct safety gear. I feel selfish though as we have a 10YO DD. I know it's likely to not happen but the thought she could be left an orphan. I do like going on motorcycles I find it really fun. Would you do it or are my days of motorcycling over and leave it just DH?

We sold our old bike when I got pregnant, then waited until our daughter was 22 and set up in her own place independently before getting a bike again. It's a single cylinder 500 Enfield so we'll only be pottering, having a kid certainly changed our outlook on biking but there's no reason why we can't enjoy being on the road again, we're just more mindful

I knew a lovely man who was an experienced rider he stopped when he had children then changed job and found he missed them so much due to commute so started riding again he died a week later being cut up by a taxi and landed on a bollard ....not at all unreasonable to be scared for your children

@Fifi1010

this op!

life is risky!

you’re a person in your right as well as a mum - do what makes you happy! 😊

Once you have children both of you should be sturdily bubble wrapped and never leave the house again 🙄

Don't think I would do it now. I did when I was younger. It is a great experience but probably dangerous. There was a horrific accident near my house a few weeks ago where a young motorcyclist suffered life changing injuries. I witnessed the immediate aftermath and it left me quite shaken so maybe it has affected my judgement a bit too.

It's a considered risk. Do you have loving family members you would trust to raise her if you were both to die, or would she most likely end up in care?

This!

it’s scary how much some posters on here think you should deprive yourself when you become a parent!

i love a running. There is a chance I could be hit by a car or attacked when I go running. The risk may be low but I’m certainly safer if I stay indoors. therefore should I give up my running for the sake of children?

@TomatoFrog

its not selfish to ride a motor bike or scuba dive, ffs! What do you think he should be going?? Going to work then coming home and sitting in front of the telly every single evening? Let himself go and all his interests? Would that make him more a family man and less selfish in your view?

Lol how you can know if he’s a good father or not? You literally only know that he rides a motorbike. Don’t be so judgmental!

Don't forget a hazmat suit in case they accidentally breathe in something poisonous or catch a virus

I'd probably get my own bike. I don't think you should give up what you love doing.

This. I couldn’t and have never done it.

That rather depends on how good a motorcyclist he is.

If he rides like he thinks he's Marc Marquez and is always wanting to get his knee down, no, but if he's safe, has good observation and razor-sharp reactions, why wouldn't you?

My late DP had ridden bikes for over 43 years and, apart from a few spills when he was first riding, was totally accident-free for 40 of them. He was a despatch rider for 15 years, and was doing hundreds of miles a week, too, as well as doing track days.

I won’t ride pillion with DH since having kids. Much as he doesn’t want to hear it, you’re more likely to have an accident and the outcome is likely to be worse than someone in a car.

It takes a split second for everything to change and I don’t want the kids to end up with no parents.

No Mumsnetter would dream of crossing the road without a lollipop lady to help them to cross.

Well, obviously-and don't let's forget the perils of alcohol and red meat!

Having lost a close family member and several friends. It's a real thing to be concerned about

You say he’s an adrenaline junkie then yes I wouldn’t get on the back with him, yes if he was more sensible but not otherwise.

My uncle about 15 years and not young either, was left for dead after being knocked off his bike after being out with friends and their bikes. It was only because one of them saw this and called the emergency services that he’s alive now, but he was on a life support machine and is on medication for life. He still now rides his bike despite his wife, my aunt, not being happy with it. I have no idea how he rides but he was an adrenaline junkie too.

This is a problem stopping for many years then suddenly getting back into it. Reaction times change. My DH rides if the weather's clear frequently. If you haven't ridden for a long time you should have lessons again it's nothing like a car.

Oh bore off

@TomatoFrog

what a boring life you think parents should
lead

I personally think it would be better if you just took his bike out solo.

DH used to ride. He sometimes talks about getting back to it. He knows my line on the sand is that DC need to have finished university.

My DH also scubadives 😁😁 haha.

@TomatoFrog

also what is classed as dangerous to you? Driving a car? Going for a night out on the town? A plane journey?