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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just checking if iabu before I kick off...

435 replies

TheSnootiestFox · 29/03/2023 22:59

Is 4 and a half hours in an urgent treatment centre without being seen even for triage unreasonable for a 12 year old with a suspected broken foot? No pain relief, nothing and he's been crying and begging me for help for hours.....my blood is boiling but I just need a reality check before I decide whether to say something or not. Opinions please!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSnootiestFox · 31/03/2023 21:57

MamaBearBoo · 31/03/2023 21:52

Waiting times are awful - I waited 5 hrs in A&E without been triaged all while passing out I had been passing clots for 4 weeks after a loss 3 months earlier (had been sent away by a previous dr who told me I was wasting his time as it was a period bearing in mind it had been going on 2 weeks and I was not bleeding all day just passing a clot once a day of up to 10cm of bright red blood) I was then sent up to the assessment unit as all the DRs were in resus and waited a further 5 hours til the Dr came on shift (same Dr who sent me away) finally found out I needed emergency blood transfusion and surgery (may not have if he'd have taken me seriously the first time!) as my artery had fused with my veins in my uterus and so my artery was bleeding into it!! I was passing out coz my brain wasn't getting enough blood or oxygen!!

Jesus, that is appalling. I hope you're ok now but that is an absolute disgrace!

OP posts:
Noangelbuthavingfun · 31/03/2023 22:04

TheSnootiestFox · 29/03/2023 22:59

Is 4 and a half hours in an urgent treatment centre without being seen even for triage unreasonable for a 12 year old with a suspected broken foot? No pain relief, nothing and he's been crying and begging me for help for hours.....my blood is boiling but I just need a reality check before I decide whether to say something or not. Opinions please!

I read further on and seen you finally went to a&e. You should have gone there in the first place with a suspected fracture - cut out the middle waiting part to be sent there anyway. Its a crap system whichever way you look st it ...hope he's OK!

HoneyBunnii · 31/03/2023 22:08

I had to wait 7 hours at A&E when my then 14 month old toddler fractured his arm. They found out his arm was fractured during the third hour we were there and then made us wait a furthur 3 - 4 hours to have a cast put on him. It was a nightmare.
There were only 3 families waiting to be seen.

Original poster
TheSnootiestFox · 31/03/2023 22:12

Noangelbuthavingfun · 31/03/2023 22:04

I read further on and seen you finally went to a&e. You should have gone there in the first place with a suspected fracture - cut out the middle waiting part to be sent there anyway. Its a crap system whichever way you look st it ...hope he's OK!

Show quote history

Thank you x he's OK now thanks, hobbling around like a good'un!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSnootiestFox · 31/03/2023 22:15

Can I just say in my defence, now that I've completely outed myself geographically 🤣 that our local a and e is in the arse end of Hull, full of drunks and drug addicts and has just been found unsafe during an inspection, whereas the UTC was a 2 minute drive from home in a leafy market town and this did affect my decision making - but I've now learnt from my mistake!

OP posts:
angela99999 · 31/03/2023 22:43

I spent 10 hours in A&E recently (for myself not a child) having called 111 who called me an ambulance. The Ambulance said it would be quicker to go in ourselves so we did.

Also waiting for almost the same time was a man with suspected heart problems and a woman who was wearing a hospital ID band having been discharged earlier that day but brought back by ambulance.
During our wait we did see serious injuries including two people stabbed in street brawls, but the largest number were young women who were totally drunk and were seen immediately.

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 31/03/2023 22:56

Im really bored with the usual posts of "its all the Tories fault". No it isn't, all the politicians are the same, they look after themselves first............. One of the problems is that not all the staff are the "saints" that people portray. I could tell you plenty of stories of staff that dont give a shit, lets not portray them all as saints.

Rosula · 31/03/2023 23:06

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 31/03/2023 22:56

Im really bored with the usual posts of "its all the Tories fault". No it isn't, all the politicians are the same, they look after themselves first............. One of the problems is that not all the staff are the "saints" that people portray. I could tell you plenty of stories of staff that dont give a shit, lets not portray them all as saints.

How can it not be the Tories' fault, given that they are in charge of the NHS and in charge of funding it, and they have been in power for 13 years? It really cannot be blamed on any other party.

LittleDonkeyKong · 31/03/2023 23:19

I never go to UTC if I suspect a possible break or fracture as I know Beverley don't usually have X Ray open after 6pm. Childrens A&E at HRI have always been ok when we've needed it.

MyMNprofile · 31/03/2023 23:20

@angela99999 why were there so many drunk young women? What had happened to them? If they were seen as more of a priority than stabbing victims they must have all been seriously unwell.

londonmummy1966 · 31/03/2023 23:35

TheSnootiestFox · 30/03/2023 13:07

Exactly! Zero empathy and zero candour.

Show quote history

Your problem was taking in a 12 year old - they're not cute enough for the nurses to care. I took my 15 year old who had suffered a head injury and concussion to the paediatic A&E at a major London teaching hospital. They cba with her or the teenager with a clearly broken arm who had to try and support its weight when all she needed was a pillow on her lap (and there was a pile on a cupboard near the nurses station), or the boy with a misshapen leg as a result of rugby. However, cute little blond girl with a sore thumb was seen really quickly. DD was temporarily allowed a bed but then kicked back into the general waiting area (without anyone checkin whether or not there was a chair for her to sit on - there wasn't). As we walked out of the ward we walked past 4 cubicles where the beds were unoccupied other than tablets/ipads being used to entertain toddlers in buggies.

Totally clear than nurses don't give a shit about older children no matter how much pain they're in. Truly shocking and I worry that this attitude is being taught to medical students coming through the system.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 31/03/2023 23:35

angela99999 · 31/03/2023 22:43

I spent 10 hours in A&E recently (for myself not a child) having called 111 who called me an ambulance. The Ambulance said it would be quicker to go in ourselves so we did.

Also waiting for almost the same time was a man with suspected heart problems and a woman who was wearing a hospital ID band having been discharged earlier that day but brought back by ambulance.
During our wait we did see serious injuries including two people stabbed in street brawls, but the largest number were young women who were totally drunk and were seen immediately.

They probably wanted them out of the way quickly. Probably easy and quick to assess and get rid of.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 31/03/2023 23:36

of Course he’ll be fine - but at the moment he’s in great pain and his mother is naturally distressed by this. I hope you don’t have that attitude with your own kids, hard attitude lacking in compassion.

chimayrah1 · 31/03/2023 23:46

Leaving a child (or anyone) without pain relief for 4 hours is beyond inexcusable. I hate the way every failing in the NHS is explained away by the lack of funding. Yes, it is shockingly underfunded, but basic empathy and compassion should still be there. I was treated for a missed miscarriage today in an EPU where the staff were run ragged, so busy I doubt any of them had time to even go to the loo, and yet I was still treated with kindness and made to feel that I mattered. There is just no excuse.

LuluBlakey1 · 01/04/2023 00:07

TheSnootiestFox · 30/03/2023 12:08

I didn't actually vote, not that its any of your business actually, but very unlike me because as a woman I'm aware other women died for me to have the privilege. I don't like what the Tories have done to the Nation but there was no way that Labour was a credible option at the time either. Currently worrying about the next election as I feel the same now!

Also, I am one of the few in the UK that have lived in the US and due to a no fault road accident experienced quite a lot of the American health care system. I'm not sure where the fear of people paying for insurance comes from but I'd be more than willing, I already have basic private health care here but of course there's no private a and e provision apart from that one mentioned up thread. The NHS can't go on as it is, so let those of us willing to pay our way do so!

Show quote history

You can pay your way. You can have private health insurance- that's an option. However, Britain must continue to run an NHS for the majority who can't afford private health insurance and don't want a private system.

You do realise that a private healthcare system is about making profit, not about healthcare. It makes billions for the owners of insurance and private equity companies, charges a fortune for every single tablet, sticking plaster and bag of saline given, is afforded by the rich and well-paid and leaves the poor and less well-off, disabled, unemployed, single parents, elderly, those with health conditions, way behind receiving poorer treatment, patch-up treatment, unable to be treated, or not actually going to see Drs because they can't afford it. It spends multi millions on admin staff in hospitals to produce and argue out claims, Drs spend hours trying to speak to insurers to get treatments approved. The same companies that own the insurance sell the supplies and own the hospitals- the whole chain is about profit.

Healthcare should be a state responsibility, along with social care, social housing, water, energy, education and childcare. They are not about profit. If there is money in the system it should be about quality for 'customers' nit about profit for Tories.

Mercury2702 · 01/04/2023 00:36

TheSnootiestFox · 31/03/2023 22:15

Can I just say in my defence, now that I've completely outed myself geographically 🤣 that our local a and e is in the arse end of Hull, full of drunks and drug addicts and has just been found unsafe during an inspection, whereas the UTC was a 2 minute drive from home in a leafy market town and this did affect my decision making - but I've now learnt from my mistake!

I work where you’re on about and our waiting times are the worst in the UK!

Mum23girlies · 01/04/2023 00:37

I was in urgent care for 6 hours with a baby having an allergic reaction, it was very hard not to kick off. It was so busy and there was so many people who were with someone else taking up all the seats we stood up the whole time. A lady was standing up breastfeeding no one thought to offer her a seat 😤

BashfulClam · 01/04/2023 00:48

Husband had chest pains and tightness in his arm etc. went to a&e on the advice of NHS 24, waited 5 hours in triage after he had an ECG and blood taken. In the cubicle next to us (we could hear everything due to it only being a curtain to separate bedd), 7 people came with mild things, were treated and sent off and we saw no one. One of them was an elderly nun who felt a bit faint at dinner!!! That was out if the ordinary so it sticks in my mind. Eventually I went and asked for a timescale and we were miraculously seen.

Iwannabeacrocodilehunter · 01/04/2023 00:50

I too have spent time in the USA and used their health system. It is far far superior to ours. Many jobs offer health insurance as part of their benefits package, otherwise, what I would pay over there is actually cheaper than my NI contribution.

I waited a year here for an eye treatment, bouncing between Opthamology and Opticians. Eventually I went back to the US and was treated within a couple of days. Went back home and showed my Opthamologist my medication and they pretty much said ‘Oh this stuff is great! We can’t prescribe that over here’.

The NHS is free at the point of service, but we are paying and we are paying a lot. I pay not far off £6000 annually for NI and DH pays about the same. The service we (don’t) get for that is terrible.

Iwannabeacrocodilehunter · 01/04/2023 00:56

LuluBlakey1 · 01/04/2023 00:07

You can pay your way. You can have private health insurance- that's an option. However, Britain must continue to run an NHS for the majority who can't afford private health insurance and don't want a private system.

You do realise that a private healthcare system is about making profit, not about healthcare. It makes billions for the owners of insurance and private equity companies, charges a fortune for every single tablet, sticking plaster and bag of saline given, is afforded by the rich and well-paid and leaves the poor and less well-off, disabled, unemployed, single parents, elderly, those with health conditions, way behind receiving poorer treatment, patch-up treatment, unable to be treated, or not actually going to see Drs because they can't afford it. It spends multi millions on admin staff in hospitals to produce and argue out claims, Drs spend hours trying to speak to insurers to get treatments approved. The same companies that own the insurance sell the supplies and own the hospitals- the whole chain is about profit.

Healthcare should be a state responsibility, along with social care, social housing, water, energy, education and childcare. They are not about profit. If there is money in the system it should be about quality for 'customers' nit about profit for Tories.

Show quote history

I would love to pay my way and have private health insurance, but I can’t afford it on top of my huge NI bill. I’m basically paying for my health insurance plus probably another couple of people and getting absolutely crap service for that money.
If gladly stop paying NI and take out my own private insurance! I’d be quits in at the same time.

poppettypop · 01/04/2023 00:59

LuluBlakey1 · 01/04/2023 00:07

You can pay your way. You can have private health insurance- that's an option. However, Britain must continue to run an NHS for the majority who can't afford private health insurance and don't want a private system.

You do realise that a private healthcare system is about making profit, not about healthcare. It makes billions for the owners of insurance and private equity companies, charges a fortune for every single tablet, sticking plaster and bag of saline given, is afforded by the rich and well-paid and leaves the poor and less well-off, disabled, unemployed, single parents, elderly, those with health conditions, way behind receiving poorer treatment, patch-up treatment, unable to be treated, or not actually going to see Drs because they can't afford it. It spends multi millions on admin staff in hospitals to produce and argue out claims, Drs spend hours trying to speak to insurers to get treatments approved. The same companies that own the insurance sell the supplies and own the hospitals- the whole chain is about profit.

Healthcare should be a state responsibility, along with social care, social housing, water, energy, education and childcare. They are not about profit. If there is money in the system it should be about quality for 'customers' nit about profit for Tories.

Show quote history

This is the best post I have seen today.

SuffolkUnicorn · 01/04/2023 01:43

crikey OP hope you and your son are ok xx

lemmein · 01/04/2023 01:50

The whole system is broken.

My DD had a kidney infection through the week - it came on suddenly and she was sent home from work. She phoned her gp, no answer, so she called 111 and was told to go to urgent care. She got to UC to discover there was no more spaces to be seen so she had to go to A&E where she sat in the waiting room for 8 hours in horrific pain. She has chronic kidney disease so has been through this many times - a course of antibiotics normally clears it up but ffs, the palaver to simply get a prescription is ridiculous.

Posters on here often criticise people for going to A&E needlessly but there is often no other option - primary care doesn't seem to exist anymore! You don't realise how bad the system is until you need it, or you're unfortunate enough to work in it - scary times.

Cazareeto1 · 01/04/2023 02:26

I’m very late to reply, but most will not give any pain meds until a dr has seen the patient. So that the pain meds don’t mask any pain symptoms.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 01/04/2023 08:08

lemmein · 01/04/2023 01:50

The whole system is broken.

My DD had a kidney infection through the week - it came on suddenly and she was sent home from work. She phoned her gp, no answer, so she called 111 and was told to go to urgent care. She got to UC to discover there was no more spaces to be seen so she had to go to A&E where she sat in the waiting room for 8 hours in horrific pain. She has chronic kidney disease so has been through this many times - a course of antibiotics normally clears it up but ffs, the palaver to simply get a prescription is ridiculous.

Posters on here often criticise people for going to A&E needlessly but there is often no other option - primary care doesn't seem to exist anymore! You don't realise how bad the system is until you need it, or you're unfortunate enough to work in it - scary times.

That’s just one example of needless inefficiency. How easy would it be to have a prescription already on the system for your daughter so that as soon as her usual symptoms appeared she could just go and pick it up? I remember years ago my mum having a lot of UTIs. She was able to collect a prescription as soon as she needed it, without even talking to the GP.