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To make you aware that surrogacy is going to be liberalised

1000 replies

VestaTilley · 29/03/2023 14:27

Today, the Law Commission have published their final recommendations to Government, calling for reform of surrogacy laws in the U.K.

The proposed change would make commissioning parents legal parents at birth. That means that the birth mother would never be regarded as the legal parent, nor would she be listed on the birth certificate.

This has been privately lobbied for behind closed doors, away from women and maternity groups for years. The Law Commission consulted in 2019, but never published their responses or said who had fed in to their consultation.

Law firms and surrogacy agencies are rubbing their hands with glee today: I feel physically sick.

They would have you believe surrogacy in this country is “altruistic”. This is not the case. Women can receive upwards of £20,000 per pregnancy in “expenses” - which is a huge financial incentive to a woman if they are from a poor background.

Do we want to live in a society which creates a servant class of women? Which takes babies away from their mothers at birth?

When pregnant we are all advised to bond with our babies, breastfeed if we can and speak to our babies in utero. How does the NHS square this advice with making it legal for a child to never legally have a connection to its own mother?

If you are in anyway concerned about these proposals please, please contact your MP and raise all the noise you can to try and stop this before it is too late:

https://www.lawcom.gov.uk/surrogacy-laws-to-be-overhauled-under-new-reforms-benefitting-the-child-surrogate-and-intended-parents/

Surrogacy laws to be overhauled under new reforms – benefitting the child, surrogate and intended parents - Law Commission

The Law Commission of England and Wales and the Scottish Law Commission have today published reforms for Government to improve outdated surrogacy laws. The use of surrogacy – where a woman becomes pregnant and gives birth to a child to be brought up by...

https://www.lawcom.gov.uk/surrogacy-laws-to-be-overhauled-under-new-reforms-benefitting-the-child-surrogate-and-intended-parents/

OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
MsAlder · 01/04/2023 13:05

beastlyslumber · 01/04/2023 10:46

She used the money to buy a luxury car.

That's the going rate for a human baby, is it? Fucking hell. Yeah my mom sold me and bought a car - definitely not going to fuck me up in any way though because the people who bought me really wanted to.

That's not my kids' mum. I am their mum.
The money was hers to spend how she wanted. She is an educated adult with a degree who is perfectly capable of making decisions about her own body, especially as she had been through the process before.
She is an adult and she made a decision based on her personal experiences. I don't see why people believe that because she is having a child for someone else, her brain has flown out the window.
If you don't want to do it, that's fine. She did it for multiple reasons some of which are not mine to share.

BlüeöysterCunt · 01/04/2023 13:09

MsAlder · 01/04/2023 09:24

It's good to read another story of someone who has had a similar experience.

I also had children with the help of a surrogate. We went to the US to do it because we felt the standard of living there was comparable to our own.
We have a lovely relationship with our surrogate and regularly send updates about how we're getting on.
The lady in question had 4 children of her own and had been a surrogate for another couple before us. She used the money to buy a luxury car.
My kids know how they were born and we talk about it in an age-appropriate manner. One is interested in the process and the other one not so much (at least not right now).
The law in the state we were in protected everybody and everyone concerned had counselling and support the whole time. It was a lot more than I was offered by my own GP and other medical specialists when they me told I was infertile (which amounted to "suck it up at least you don't have cancer").
My husband was on the birth certificate from the start and I had to wait two years to adopt (one was waiting and other was the legal process itself). Our surrogate and her husband signed over all parental rights to my DH before the birth.

Selling your baby so you can buy a luxury car. Wow.

MeditatingOnMars · 01/04/2023 13:12

A couple of kids for a luxury car. It’s repulsive.

L3ThirtySeven · 01/04/2023 13:13

MeditatingOnMars · 01/04/2023 13:12

A couple of kids for a luxury car. It’s repulsive.

Better than the societal expectation you must be a surrogate for nothing out of “morally pure altruism.”

MeditatingOnMars · 01/04/2023 13:15

L3ThirtySeven · 01/04/2023 13:13

Better than the societal expectation you must be a surrogate for nothing out of “morally pure altruism.”

Theres no expectation...except that children should not be created to be sold.

MeditatingOnMars · 01/04/2023 13:18

Posted too soon.

To create children with the intention of taking them from their mum is repulsive. Even if someone did it for nothing.

MissMaple82 · 01/04/2023 13:19

hamstersarse · 29/03/2023 14:36

I have a visceral reaction to surrogacy

I find it abhorrent

No-one is really thinking of the child

I agree! My views towards surrogacy have changed over the years. Nobody sees the rights of the child in it.

FannyCann · 01/04/2023 13:19

Just a reminder before the thread closes to keep an eye on Nordic Model Now and StopSurrogacyNowUK websites as they will shortly be publishing a quick link template letter to send to MPs as well as an article on NMN website with further tips for those who want to personalise their letter.

FannyCann · 01/04/2023 13:21

Link to NMN website - I think you need to scroll down the menu to find their surrogacy material as they are primarily concerned with prostitution but I expect they will make the template letter top of the page.

nordicmodelnow.org/

MissMaple82 · 01/04/2023 13:21

Grumpsy · 29/03/2023 15:00

You’ve put what I was trying to say more eloquently than I did.

But how do you monitor that??

FannyCann · 01/04/2023 13:22

And a link to StopSurrogacyNowUK

stopsurrogacynowuk.org/

L3ThirtySeven · 01/04/2023 13:24

MeditatingOnMars · 01/04/2023 13:15

Theres no expectation...except that children should not be created to be sold.

I don’t agree they’re being “sold” 🤷‍♀️

FannyCann · 01/04/2023 13:25

Nordic Model Now did a huge body of work around the original consultation to set up a quick template for people to use to respond to the consultation document.

It is huge credit to them that more than half of respondents opposed surrogacy and either used the template in entirety or used it as a basis to add personal perspectives.

I know lots of posters on Mumsnet used the template so thank you to everyone who responded.

L3ThirtySeven · 01/04/2023 13:26

MissMaple82 · 01/04/2023 13:19

I agree! My views towards surrogacy have changed over the years. Nobody sees the rights of the child in it.

I do, I just don’t agree that biological mum = better mum, loving mum and all that. There is no correlation between the two in my experience. I’d have had a chance at a childhood if I’d been taken away from my mum.

Clymene · 01/04/2023 13:28

I find it astounding that a woman would pay a mother of 4 to risk her own life so that she can buy her babies.

And while your babies may be genetically related to you, she is their mother.

FannyCann · 01/04/2023 13:50

And here is a surrogacy resource thread I started in 2020 with lots of links and discussion.

Surrogacy Resource thread : please post your links here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3782983-surrogacy-resource-thread-please-post-your-links-here

MeditatingOnMars · 01/04/2023 13:51

Clymene · 01/04/2023 13:28

I find it astounding that a woman would pay a mother of 4 to risk her own life so that she can buy her babies.

And while your babies may be genetically related to you, she is their mother.

No one cut out to be a parent would buy or sell children.

Grumpsy · 01/04/2023 13:54

MeditatingOnMars · 01/04/2023 13:51

No one cut out to be a parent would buy or sell children.

I feel you both have just proved my point from a few pages ago 😑

L3ThirtySeven · 01/04/2023 14:01

MeditatingOnMars · 01/04/2023 13:51

No one cut out to be a parent would buy or sell children.

Lol that’s like saying no one cut out to be a parent would give birth to a baby or get a woman pregnant with a baby when we know that’s also not true at all.

FannyCann · 01/04/2023 14:10

No one cut out to be a parent would buy or sell children.

When one thinks of people heading to poor countries looking for a bargain basement deal, people who use Ukrainian women and rushed to scoop up the baby whilst leaving the mother to take her chances with war, or the Israelis who sent a "mercy" flight to rescue babies born amidst the earthquake in Nepal, again, leaving the mothers to take their chances, Imagine growing up and asking about your origins and finding your parents are the sort of people who do that.

beastlyslumber · 01/04/2023 14:19

MeditatingOnMars · 01/04/2023 13:51

No one cut out to be a parent would buy or sell children.

Agree. It shows an utter disegard for the needs of the child.

Markasread · 01/04/2023 14:25

MeditatingOnMars · 01/04/2023 13:12

A couple of kids for a luxury car. It’s repulsive.

That's commercial surrogacy which has nothing to do with the UK. It would also be a problem if she'd fed her children with that money.

Markasread · 01/04/2023 14:27

OhHolyJesus · 01/04/2023 12:42

"No they don't actually want it."

So they don't actually want shared parental rights? and yet you also said earlier...

"Surrogates want shared parental responsibility at birth"

Christ this is confusing. I'm won't engage further with you @Markasread as this is going around in circles and no longer making sense to me.

They want the rights not the reality. I don't think it's tricky if you understand anything about surrogacy from the perspective of the surrogate. They want to be free to hand the baby over which means they need to have the rights for long enough to do that. And they don't like the optics or feel of women naturally losing rights either. Many surrogates are feminist

OhHolyJesus · 01/04/2023 14:27

That's commercial surrogacy which has nothing to do with the UK.

I think it has been proven to not be the case multiple times on this thread already.

OhHolyJesus · 01/04/2023 14:28

Many surrogates are feminist

Yes. Choice feminists.

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