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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it ever ok to steal?

130 replies

Kayem458 · 29/03/2023 10:12

Went to do my food shopping early yesterday morning to get it out of the way. Arrived at 7, left at 7.30. Checked my bank this morning, my card was used twice in the shop, I’d paid for my shopping and gone home. My amount was showing as pending and a second amount for £21.35, called the bank first thing both were contactless payments (I’ve obviously left my card accidentally on the machine it was a self serve checkout). Bank confirmed card was used at 7.39 so whoever went to that self serve after me used it. Bank we’re fine and raised it as fraud however I spoke to two advisors, both were lovely and helpful might I add, but the first one said ‘well times are hard for people with cost of living crisis’ and the second said ‘at least it was only 20 quid could have been more’.

I’m going to the store today to give them the exact time for their cctv and I’m also calling 101. Is it just me or does anyone else agree that stealing is stealing no matter the amount? I have really struggled financially in the past and not been able to afford food, heating, bills etc that ‘20 quid’ would have needed to last me a good few weeks, the nights I’ve gone to bed hungry and stealing never crossed my mind! I’m pretty annoyed that the attitude to this is quite throw away, or is this just life now and it’s me overreacting?

OP posts:
Zebedee999 · 30/03/2023 10:58

depressionisheavy · 29/03/2023 16:02

I have cried buckets when I was broke as a young graduate and landlords decided to keep a few hundred pounds from my deposit for absolute bullshit reasons, one example being they said I had been keeping cats inside and there was damage which was 100% made up. I had no pets. Another, that I had lost a bedroom door key so locks had to be changed, again 100% made up. I had left the key in the bedroom lock.

That was also stealing, but nobody was bothered by it and it wasn't as if there was anything I could do.

Stealing is wrong, but lets not forget that in certain areas it is basically legitimised as fine to do. I know that tenants have more protection now due to the new schemes thank goodness.

So I can see why people who are in very hopeless situations with no realistic route out of them might just say fuck it.

Re your landlord retaining part of your deposit, whilst there is always two sides to a story, nowadays all deposits have to be held within an official scheme. If a landlord wants to retain part of your deposit then you can appeal that to the scheme and 90% of the time they will side with the tenant. The key is to take photos as part of the inventory before and after to support your case.

No good to you now but worth passing on to your kids if you have any renting.

OneTC · 30/03/2023 12:05

Kayem458 · 29/03/2023 13:55

Thank you for everyone in the know who has commented re refunds and cards handed in. Just been back to the shop (first opportunity I had) unfortunately it hasn’t been refunded. They are checking cctv for me.

What was the outcome?

Did you get the card back?

Kayem458 · 05/04/2023 05:31

OneTC · 30/03/2023 12:05

What was the outcome?

Did you get the card back?

Sorry OneTC only just seen this. Didn’t get card back and no one has returned to give a refund. Lesson learned!

OP posts:
Namemchangeforthispostonly101 · 23/12/2023 22:08

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to take this down now.

BebbanburgIsMine · 27/12/2023 00:06

@ThreeblackCats

I've had some really hard times in my life, I've sat in my house with no food, no heating, no electric and no hot water.

I would never gave thought of "taking advantage" and using a card left at a till.

I may have been near destitution, but I've never stolen anything, or been tempted to.

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