To think something is failing us

[Cavpoo2023]

Hi all,

I just want some advice. My partner and I have been together nearly 7 years, engaged with 2 children. I feel like this relationship is no longer viable or has a heartbeat.

bit of a long story but I don’t want to leave anything out.. our relationship took what should have been a positive turn nearly 5 years ago when we found out we were pregnant with our daughter. We made the decision to continue with the pregnancy and with support from our family we bought our 1st house. The pregnancy caused me health problems and I had to have a c section and needed other surgery after she was born.

I had surgery when she was 6 months old. I got pregnant with a 2nd baby the month after. This pregnancy was supposed to be the fixer.. I was healthy and happy. This pregnancy went even worse baby was born 6 weeks but suffered IUGR and I had to have another c section. We were in hospital until lockdown.

during these awful pregnancies we’ve been riddled with debt too and my other half because of my health problems got fired from a job in 2020 during lockdown. He hopped from job to job which at first he told me was quite common.. he neglected to tell me he had been having his performance reviewed since January 2019 when our daughter was born.

fast forward to 20022/2023.. we bought our dream home and I’ve just got a new job which I love and has got a working pattern which works well for the kids and he works from home for money but 5 days a week. I was feeling so hopeful that we could clear the last of the debt and start to plan a wedding..

but he’s just told me tonight when I got in that his company has reviewed his performance and the CEO has told him he has 2 months to increase his performance or he’s out. The worst thing he’s been told by them that his skill set is nowhere near where it should be for the job so I don’t think it is going to go well. He is genuinely surprised by this job as he thought it was going well and he’d not had a 1-1 since December.

For an update my OH gave me full disclosure to his laptop last night. There is no verbal warnings or written warnings in his HR folder.. the meeting was labelled catch up so he wasn’t sure what it was about.

there was performance review back in October which had some very minor points everyone had one that week because it was annual and all he got from that was these objectives no these are objectives which if not met would be a final written warning.

His HR file which he can log into has forms from when he first started and the next document is this letter telling him his last working day will be May 2023.

No mention of booking his ideas up in the letter and they’ll keep him on so they lied about that.. probably to soften the blow. HR have changed his status too.. there is nowhere that says he was ever given a warning.

the company are able to which is worse because his contract says the company reserves the right to terminate the employment without following the disciplinary procedures if the employee has been there under 24 months.

We’ve sent it all off to my dad to have a look at. I know he doesn’t have the best work ethic does my OH but honestly I don’t think it is fair this time around.

Also with regards to him going off sick that was the plan when I left for work, it was only mid morning that he text me to say that he had been working & that he has chosen to keep working through his notice.

his line who has apologised for all this and said he had no idea it was happening has said that irregardless of annual leave he can take any time off interviews he may need.

My OH likes his line manager so has said he won’t make work load difficult for him by taking sick leave from being stressed.

Honestly it sounds like he just handed his notice in but doesn't want to be honest with you.

He’s given me full access to his personnel files and I’ve read the letter from his HR department which is dated yesterday and it confirms they are dismissing him so he’s definitely not handed his notice in or anything