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Original poster

Can somebody help me draft a resignation email please?

69 replies

depressionisheavy · 28/03/2023 21:19

I need to tell my really nice boss I'm quitting as my mental health is spiralling after a fairly traumatic bereavement, I have a physical health condition as well which they know about and it is flaring and it's all too much. They were so kind to me at the time of the loss and I thought it'd be good for me to have this to focus on but I can't cope and they deserve better than I can do anyway.

I'm so embarrassed by everything and feel completely ill at ease at having to share details of my health - but then on the other hand, if I don't offer any explanation they will just think I'm being a horrible inconsiderate feckless twat. Which I possibly still am but I just cannot cope.

Can anyone suggest a way of wording this sort of email that conveys I'm struggling, but doesn't overshare or make me sound like a drama queen? I loathe myself today, can't trust myself for anything and so worried about how to do this.

If at all possible I'd love to not completely burn bridges and not come across as a stupid selfish arsehole.

OP posts:
pippinsleftleg · 28/03/2023 21:34

Dear x

Due to recent events in my private life I am handing in my notice effective immediately.

I would like to thank you for all the support you have offered me during my recent bereavement along with my subsequent health issues but I need to take some time now to heal properly.

(then something about confirming leave date)

fruitbrewhaha · 28/03/2023 21:34

How about

Dear x
Please accept this letter of resignation. My last day will be on x, after the four week notice period.

I have enjoyed working at Company bit feel after the loss of x that I am unable to focus fully on my role.

TigerDroveAgain · 28/03/2023 21:35

Can you see the boss, explain in person and just send a really simple letter?

NemoandDoris · 28/03/2023 21:35

many thanks for everyone’s consideration and thoughts during my recent bereavement.

However this, combined with an ongoing illness, has led after much reflection and deliberation, to the decision to resign from my position as ………. I feel I need to fully dedicate myself to my recovery.

may I wish everyone at……… all the best for the future.

RH1234 · 28/03/2023 21:40

I know you’ve come to the decision of handing in your notice, however to play devils advocate…

You say you have a really nice boss (this can be hard to come by). Sometimes people need just longer off work, have you considered requesting a sabbatical? This may give you time to reflect and get your mental health and well-being to a point that you can return if you wished?

Original poster
depressionisheavy · 28/03/2023 21:42

Thank you for the examples, they are really helpful.

OP posts:
Jimminycricketz · 28/03/2023 21:43

I’m sorry that you’re having such a hard time with your health OP. Instead of resigning, have you thought about seeing your GP and getting signed off for a while? Having the time off and space to concentrate on your health and then having the job to go back to might be good? Especially as you seem to like the job and your boss.

fruitbrewhaha · 28/03/2023 21:45

Jimminycricketz · 28/03/2023 21:43

I’m sorry that you’re having such a hard time with your health OP. Instead of resigning, have you thought about seeing your GP and getting signed off for a while? Having the time off and space to concentrate on your health and then having the job to go back to might be good? Especially as you seem to like the job and your boss.

This is a very good point. And the above about a sabbatical.

Good staff are hard to come by, as are good jobs with a lovely boss.

If you are unwell you can get signed off work

Original poster
depressionisheavy · 28/03/2023 21:46

I should have asked for that @RH1234 yes but I have totally fucked everything now by not going in for two days after emailing that I was ill when I started unravelling.

I haven't communicated well, and now I have the boss emailing saying they are worried and am I ok, and it's just all hideous and embarrassing and I can't navigate this, so I need to cobble together an email to wrap things up.

I can't go back now anyway because they will all know I'm struggling with mental health if I explain, and I can't bear that dynamic then.

OP posts:
Original poster
depressionisheavy · 28/03/2023 21:46

I have totally fucked everything. They are all so nice and I've screwed it up so badly.

OP posts:
PacificallyRequested · 28/03/2023 21:46

You should really speak to your boss about this, not just send an email. You may have to formally resign in writing but ideally that shouldn't be the first time your boss is hearing about it!

FannyFifer · 28/03/2023 21:48

You've not screwed it up. Your boss will understand and support, tell them.
Can u work reduced hours, take some leave.

OneTC · 28/03/2023 21:49

Don't do anything hasty.

Have a face to face talk, don't feel embarrassed at your situation, see what they suggest, if they're as good as you think they will support you.

If you're still intent on resigning don't fuck about with an explanation send a basic letter covering the essentials

Torturedsoul · 28/03/2023 21:51

I think you're currently in fight or flight mode and any decision made today may not be the best one for you. I think maybe some time to recover before doing anything hasty will be your best bet.

I wish you all the best. It sounds like you've been through an awful lot.

Merryoldgoat · 28/03/2023 21:53

It’s really hard when you’re suffering @depressionisheavy

Generally speaking, people who behave kindly like this ARE kind and it’s a much under-valued quality. A workplace with a caring ethos like that is hard to find.

I work somewhere with similar management. I had a crisis a few months ago and told my manager I wasn’t coping. I felt much better being open and he was so kind and it’s taken a massive weight off me.

Honestly consider just having a frank chat and see what happens. You can still resign afterwards if you want to.

ChannelyourinnerElsa · 28/03/2023 21:53

I really would recommend speaking in person, or at very least over teams or last resort the phone before you send an email,

the email then confirms the previous conversation.

“Dear X
Further to our conversation on X date at Y time, I confirm that I am resigning my position as ABC.

I would like to reiterate my gratitude for the support you and the organisation have offered me. My resignation is in recognition that my health currently leaves me in the position of being unable to commit to my role in the way I need to.

I wish you well blah blah blah

Take care of yourself OP.

KIWI2023 · 28/03/2023 21:54

@depressionisheavy I'm so sorry to hear of your recent loss, a chronic illness can be so difficult to manage at the best of times but I know grief can be really triggering for some conditions.

I do NOT feel you are beyond a point of return with your workplace, if you explain to your boss that you still need time to grieve and that your physical health condition has flared due to the emotional despair they should take reasonable accommodations for you. Especially if they are good people to work for as you say.

If you aren't ready to discuss your mental health, I do think it is worth highlighting to you that everyone grieves differently and there is no timeline so there is no need for them to know there is a chronic mental health difficulty if you aren't ready for that information being shared.

Equally, have you thought about contacting a GP? They may be able to issue a fit note to say you need a while off but it means you have a bit more time to decide whether you want to proceed with this role or whether you need a fresh start once you are feeling up to it.

Thoughts are with you💐

WandaWonder · 28/03/2023 21:54

I just send like this

This email is to give 2 weeks notice from today of my resignation (with the usual polite greetings)

I never go into reasons

fruitbrewhaha · 28/03/2023 21:55

No, no, no!
Please don’t quit under a these circumstances. Just send an email now saying your terribly sorry for going offline. Tell them you will be getting a doctors appointment tomorrow and will update them afterwards.
Then get to the doctors and ask to be signed off for 3 or so weeks. Give yourself some time OP.

TakingTime2 · 28/03/2023 21:56

Sorry you're having a rough time op, I agree don't do anything hasty

I can't go back now anyway because they will all know I'm struggling with mental health if I explain, and I can't bear that dynamic then.

There's absolutely no shame in struggling with your mental health and it sounds as though your employer are supportive?

I've worked with a few amazing people in highly responsible roles who have taken time out due to mental health issues and come back to the workplace with nothing but respect from their colleagues

Flowers
PurpleNebula84 · 28/03/2023 21:57

Dear X,

Please accept this letter as my notice of resignation. This has been a very difficult decision I have had to make. Due to the recent difficult circumstances I have found myself in, I feel that that I need to address my own well being as a priority. I don't feel I can achieve this without it having an effect on my role in the team. This is something I don't wish to happen and wouldn't like my personal issues to have a detrimental impact on you or my colleagues.
May I take this opportunity to give you my heartfelt thanks for the support you have given me throughout my time with you, and in particularly, during recent events. It is very much appreciated.
Yours sincerely
@depressionisheavy

fruitbrewhaha · 28/03/2023 21:57

Ah, I’ve just noticed your username. Don’t rush into anything. Work will understand you need some time off.

PurpleNebula84 · 28/03/2023 21:59

Although @depressionisheavy I would consider maybe as a PP suggested, see if you can take some time out/career break.

If your manager is as good as you say, they will do as much as they can to help you.

Ohalpro · 28/03/2023 21:59

Op, your posts show you’re having a really difficult time. As someone who has recovered from mental health crises, I can tell you that:

You are not thinking straight right now
You have not messed everything up
You do not have to be embarrassed about being ill. it is a normal part of life
It is not too late to get help

Small steps. i do not think you need to quit your job, or run away from this situation . But I know that it feels that way. I have been there. It is terrible, and I’m so sorry you are going through this.

please email your boss and explain that you are not well and need more time off
Then see your gp and explain the situation
do you have a friend who could help you make the appointment?

here is a sample email to your boss:

dear x

thank you for reaching out to me and I’m sorry that I have been out of touch for a couple of days. I have been very ill physically and mentally and need to take some more time off work. I am going to speak to the doctor asap and will let you know what they say.

I am very sorry and understand that I did not follow the correct procedure for calling in sick. Please could you let me know what the consequences of this will be

thanks

Changingplace · 28/03/2023 22:00

I’m so sorry for your loss OP and that you’re struggling.

I don’t think you’ve messed anything up, your boss sounds like they genuinely care.

I think you should try and have a chat with them first, be honest, there’s nothing to feel bad about if you’re having a hard time after a bereavement, it’s honestly ok to admit you’re not ok right now but take some time out.

I don’t think you should jump into handing your notice in by email, chat to your boss, get signed off by the GP for a little while and look after yourself.

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