To leave toddler screaming?

[Justinthemiddle]

I’m really struggling with DS (2 years 4 months) and bedtimes. He was an absolute star until recently and then started trying it on if you like but only very slightly - he’d ask for another book and then whimper / whinge a bit but be fine after some gentle talk about sleep being important and so on.

Just recently he’s been awful. His routine is watches Night Garden on CBeebies then bath, teeth, milk and stories. It’s been like this for months so he knows. But he runs away when Night Garden finishes and then has an absolute screaming tantrum, really wild and sobbing and frantic, when changed and put in bath. Eventually calms down and is fine in pyjamas and so on and we read five books. Then bed. Except the screaming tantrum has returned when I put him in bed

I hate leaving him screaming but I honestly am not sure how else to deal with it. He does calm down eventually - put him to bed at 1940 and he’s chatting to himself now so not asleep but not wild either. But I just need some reassurance I’m doing the right thing and also if not how I should be dealing with it?

Oh gosh- he’s fine! Some of these responses are nuts. He’s trying it on a bit, and processing everything. Don’t interrupt that, it’ll only felt the inevitable when you do leave. It sounds like you and he are both doing a good job.

You know your child OP. Sometimes they cry and need reassurance and other times they get overstimulated and the last thing they need is more stimulation.

I don't think insisting on children going to bed at a sensible time is authotarian at all. Surely it's meeting their need for sleep.

I found it was me my DD wanted, so my DH took over bedtimes and it worked. I used to stay with her and often I was so tired and fell asleep myself lying with her. She was less clingy with him and he read a book and put her to bed fine. I said goodnight before he took over. Also meant I got half hour to myself which was bliss.

We invented the concept of "sitting up and lying down stories" and it worked a treat for us. Every night, our twins would have a story sitting up, cuddled up to me. Then they'd have to get into their own beds, lying down under the covers and then they could each then have their own "lying down" story. If they sat up or started messing around, there was no fuss, I'd just stop reading the story and wait for them to settle down quietly again. By the time the story came to an end, they were generally relaxed and sleepy.