To stay friends with a thief ?

[TheJudgeandJury]

I honestly don't know what to do and I think I'm in a shock.

I've been friends with "Sarah" for thirteen years and today she had a lovely shade of lipstick on so I asked where she got it from and how much it was.

When I asked how much it was she wiggled her fingers (five finger discount).

This kind of opened up a rabbit hole and her saying all her make up was either free or half price.

To cut a long story short basically at the start of her shopping trips she'll buy some make up, go put it in her car and then when she's shopped around she'll go back to the store and pick the same items up off the shelf and return them or she'll pick up another shade or whatever and exchange them with the receipt of the original items.

I didn't really want to go in to the ins and outs of this. I didn't even know this was possible, I thought the shops would have some sort of system in place to prevent this from happening.

I don't know how she manages this whether she only does it ever so often or in different places. I changed the subject pretty quickly.

Sarah had always been a free spirit of sorts but I didn't think she was a thief and she's not remorseful, I don't think she's gonna stop and I just feel guilty by knowing like I'm an accomplice of some sorts.

I genuinely don't know what to do.

I don't think you believe 'stealing is stealing'

I don't think you think this is the same as stealing food when starving or the same as stealing from a small independent business.

Theft and loss, damage, are all built into profit models. It's a misnomer that stealing increase cost.

Rubbish. Shop or security staff can't search you or take you anywhere even if they saw you personally stealing, let alone if they think you are with someone who may have been,

On reflection, yes, stealing to survive is a different matter. That is not the case here though. No one needs make up to survive.

And now we have nuance in the picture, I don't find it morally objectionable to steal from large corporations who have theft built into their humungous profits they use slave labour to make.

Not that I would do it, I'm not dumb enough to risk a criminal record.

Of course stealing is wrong. I wouldn't want to be associated with someone like that. You're naive if you think that's all she's up to. Someone that dishonest is bound to be doing other things too.

Me again.
I've thought more about this overnight.

I DEFINITELY would be ending the friendship. If she is happy to steal from shops, how do you know she wouldn't steal from you? It that she hasn't already stolen from you?

It’s not something I could get worked up about.

That said, if you’re uncomfortable with it then you obviously have every right to distance yourself from her.

I wouldn't shop with her but I may stay friends if I liked her otherwise.

I wouldnt trust her in my home to be honest. A thief is a thief is a thief.

I can definately say you can return makeup even without a receipt as I did it myself the other day.

No, you don't have to consent but then they just phone the police. The friend would be guilty, so you'd just have to get over it, because you couldn't claim innocence. You might be ok with getting caught on the rob, personally I'd feel ashamed. There's a chance that while you are protesting against getting searched that someone films it.

Urgh, when I was a young teenager I had a friend like this. She'd steal from shops in a similar way to OP's friend, she'd take anything that wasn't nailed down in cafes etc (packets of sugar etc), even low level stuff like having a headache she'd go into Boots and take 2 tablets out of a packet then put the packet back on the shelf. Just a grim way to live and (it turned out) indicative of a shitty personality in other ways too.

The only reason theft is built into business models is because people steal! I find it a bizarre argument to say that they've already budgeted for theft, so it's ok to steal from them.

Nope, I’d think less and less of her as a person to the point that she’d be on the same par as dog shit on my shoe.
This is not theft for survival which is a totally different ballgame.

Next used to have different barcodes for items when I worked there as a teen.