If you had your time again, what would you have done after leaving school and up to your 30s or 40s?

[WiltingFlowerz]

Me, in my dream life, would have had great health and would have managed far better throughout education - so I'd have gone straight through university full time instead of part time successfully instead of constantly being sick. Then I'd have moved to London (I did do this) and been amazing in a brilliant job in advertising (didn't do this) and made good money during my twenties, would have had an exciting time and taken my mum away on lots of holidays. Mum died a couple of months ago so not being in a place to treat her means I can't ever do that which makes me sad. We did manage one brilliant trip to Paris.

Anyway, knowing now what you didn't know at 18, if you could go back in time what would you do? What decisions would you make that would streamline your process to get you where you are today? Or would you do something completely different? Careers, babies, travel, relationships?

Or would you change absolutely nothing?

I really need distraction from my grief so please tell me all about the amazing exciting times you have either had, or would have if you could have one more try.

I would have done a degree rather than a pointless HND. Apart from that I have rather enjoyed my vagabond life. I would have made better decisions regarding men and relationships.
I would like to have “added” onto my degree later and trained as a social worker or a teacher.
Overall I think I had amazing experiences wandering aimlessly around the world and despite having no money and a crumbling terrace on the wrong side of the tracks, I have managed to produce two thoroughly decent kids and stay married to a guy whom, on paper, I have little in common with!!

I wouldn't change anything. I didn't go to Uni but started at entry level in a West End Advertising Agency and worked my way up over 12 years. I had the best time, don't take it back for a second, it was very sociable and was my whole life - however do wish I'd had better money managment and bought property earlier on.

Had my kids at 32 and 35 by which time I was more than ready to settle down and we are now in a good position and have had a nice life.

I would have done everything the same except I wouldn't eat for 2 during pregnancy and tried harder to stay slim as it's really hard trying to lose it now.

If I knew what I know now? I’d move to London sooner and meet my DH earlier, so we could have more time together & had the kids earlier so they’d get more time with their grandparents. I’d have become a lawyer instead of going into the NHS. I’d have made sure we bought property in London before we got priced out!
So sorry about your mum OP, you may not have taken her on loads of holidays but I’m sure she knew how loved she was Xx

Put myself first more mostly, and been a bit braver.
Tried out more clubs and met more people at uni instead of spending the vast majority of my time with my boyfriend / going to things he liked. We had a hobby in common and it ended up being my only one by the time we left uni.
Visited my parents more while they were both still here.
Travelled more, not even necessarily to exotic locations. I regret the boring summer job I didn't really need but did out of guilt and anxiety.
Quit my first job sooner and worked on my career more before becoming a parent. So tired now!
Prioritised exercise more.
Moved to a bigger house about 5-6 years ago, before having kids and before house prices went up so much.

Those are the things I'm sure about... I'd love to go see possible parallel lives like in The Midnight Library and try out all kinds of changes though!

Studied medicine ( and the right GCSEs/A levels)

Lived in London for a couple of years after uni (didn't work with the career I ended up with)

Done a couple of seasons a holiday rep

I wouldn’t change anything because it all has led to where I am now and I’m genuinely in a good place with work and family more through luck than planning. I’m in my 50s and I spent my 20s being skint but managed to engage in rather a hedonistic lifestyle. I took my 30s more seriously and seem to have been in the right place at the right time with work and have a job that didn’t exist when i started on my ‘professional’ journey. It was very amateurish when I first started (I’m a TEFL teacher).

I do replay certain cringy conversations where I said the wrong thing and inadvertently upset people I cared for and mistakes I made in the pursuit of pleasure in my 20s that I would love to rewind and avoid or make amends for. It wasn’t often but I still regret it. But where I am now couldn’t be better if I had planned it, and I definitely didn’t, not really. The same way I didn’t plan to hurt people… I just didn’t always think through the possible consequences of my actions. Sorry.

I've had a lovely life with a great husband and wonderful children. If I'd chosen a different path, life might not have been so good. But...

1. I wish I'd tried harder at school. My parents moved house a lot. I was a really disaffected student.
2. I wish I'd ignored my parents when I finished school. I wanted to volunteer with a charity and work overseas for a year before I went to college. They told me 'No'. I might have turned into a more adventurous adult if I'd ignored them.
3. I'd love to have gone to drama school and become an actress. I never wanted to be a teacher, although tbh a lot of teaching is acting...

So many things. I’d have gone away for uni instead of staying at home for my Mum. I’d have moved straight to London and done those hard graft years in my 20s while also having fun. I’d have waited another 10 years before having kids.

I’d have tried to take a gap year and I definitely would not have moved in with Uni boyfriend…

I would have had a bit more confidence in my abilities and applied for drama school. I knew that I didn't have enough self belief to keep me going as that is a tough career choice. I look at my girls. One is a carbon copy of me, included the self doubt. Even when winning awards and excelling she doesn't believe it. I know she could but she needs to believe it too.
I also would have not listened to my dad telling me I was fat, ugly and a nasty person. I was definitely not fat but I have a very screwed up self image. I can only trust what I see of myself years later.
I'm told by people that I am beautiful. I 100% never believe them. I never will.
I constant fight self loathing and the feeling that one day my dh will realise that I'm some kind of evil being. I haven't intentionally done bad things but I still believe im evil at my core. That is hard to live with.

I would have trained as a nurse and then a midwife. I had planned to do nursing as they were offering bursaries at the time but my boyfriend talked me out of it so I left 6th form and started an admin job instead of furthering my education. I wish I had stuck with the nursing option and gone on to midwifery. I'm married (not to that fuckwit) and have children now but all I've ever done is a variety of office jobs. My career options are limited and I feel like I'm too old to change career or further my studies now. I often wonder how my life would have turned out if I had gone to uni.

It's not so much the decisions I'd change, it would be my attitude. I would be more assertive in some of my personal relationships and in my work life. I didn't know how to be assertive, I'm better than I was but it's still a work in progress.

I would have done a Civil Engineering degree (instead of English Literature) and become a highways engineer. I love and marvel at motorways and their junctions etc.

Barrister

Gone to uni for something in construction. Then not married either time. Travelled with work, become assertive, known myself. Glad I have my DC now but could do without the rest of my life and would have liked a different path.

Not become a teacher

I would skip college, really got me no where. I would have spent more time with family, less working. Probally would have made a few personal choices differently and probally would have worked harder to find true love

I would change nothing, I love my life!

46 years old, no children (by choice), 2 careers, 1 marriage, 1 separation, plenty of relationships. Now single and rocking it.

Taken a year out travelling
Split with my arsehole bf
Gone to uni
Tried stand up open mic nights
Gone for my dream career - comedy writing.

Buy a flat in London. Put more into pensions.

Would have finished my nursing course and learned to drive. I would have kept away from a predatory sociopathic male and his sister (also complete sociopath no joke) and enjoyed my 20s. Realised I was ok and quite pretty and bright.