Friend’s DS only wants a catered uni!

[Breakfastbars]

Rather than filter unis by campus vs city, distance etc, my friend said her Y12 son is only picking ones that offer catered accommodation. This is ridiculous in my view and, even when I pointed out that he will only live in halls for the first year, she got cross and said she thought it was a perfectly valid filter. AIBU?

If that is offered as a filter then presumably he is not the only one to think this.

How? Do you have a crystal ball? I’ll definitely encourage my blind DD to consider catered halls at all her options. She is primarily considering the University of Oxford to study Anthropology; is there some sort of corollary between Oxbridge and not being self-catered that I’m not aware of? 🤷‍♀️

I suspect catered less popular due to upfront cost and people pickier with food and sheer amount of options available now for delivery/takeaway.
My dc is yr 12 and wouldn’t want catered.
I honestly can’t remember picking it it was just the norm - 5 halls in a leafy suburb with no shops or takeaways nearby. Nearly everyone in yr1 was in catered halls. It provided nice structure and socialising.

Catered halls tend to be more expensive. Dd looked into catered halls at Exeter uni, she has dyspraxia so finds cooking tricky, she also has sensory issues around food so she realised it wouldn’t be a good idea as there’s not often much choice in what they give you. She ended up going to a different uni and is in self catering halls. She still rarely cooks and often eats at the student union bar/cafe. I can see why some would prefer catered halls which is why they are provided, it’s not a huge issue.

YABU for poking your nose in and annoying your friend and then coming on here to invite a load of strangers to slag her and her DS off. Some friend.

Yes, but did you have to spit in your milk bottle - and write a note on the outside to that effect - to stop your thieving flat mates stealing it?

Why is his decision anything to do with you at all? I doubt your opinion or input was wanted (or asked for) which is why your friend is annoyed that you feel you have a say over her son’s choices.

Yes. All Oxbridge colleges have a “hall” where students gather to eat throughout all the years of their degree. It is not limited to those who live in college ie if you live out in your second or third year you can still come into college to eat in Hall.

On the contrary: it is very much the norm for first-years to live in college and eat in hall in Oxbridge colleges, and the hall remains available to students throughout their time there even once they are living out. 16th-century rooms don't generally have great self-catering facilities

@Mixkle my ds chose his Oxford college precisely because it wasn't catered! In fact his top 2 criteria were, self catering and access to a gym. OP does this really matter? He will learn to cook at some point.
And yes, ds used to be a fabulous cook pre university but since sharing a 2 ring hob in a tiny kitchen with 9 others and not enough fridge space to batch cook he has turned typically student and eats junk (unless paying for a meal in hall). I'm sure it will all even out in the end.

It is optional though. Most accommodation (even in College) has a small kitchen area. In my college there were a lot of Chinese students who never ate in hall as the food was nit to their taste, they used to make amazing stuff in the tiny shared kitchens!

YABU.

meeting in the dining room every day helped me maintain a decent routine, and also met loads of people I wouldn't have otherwise met if I'd been in a self contained flat or self catering modern student accommodation.

It is a perfectly valid filter...for them. Who are you to say how important something is to someone else.
I filter my holidays by looking for a bath with a shower over it that can be handheld. It's much more important to me than how close the beach is. I also favour places that attract German guests...the vibe suits me.

It's a weird thing to narrow yourself to... but I was catered in the first year (Nottingham) and it was good. Food not great but it eliminates a good amount of mental load, time and energy shopping and cooking. Means they are less likely to skip breakfast, dinner etc and they can sit and chat to a variety of people. It's also nice to mostly eliminate the biohazard of students' food preparation, storage etc from their living quarters for the first year.

Wow, how judgemental are you? I think this is perfectly valid if it’s important to him. I have a similar aged ds and he’s all about his food too, he wouldn’t choose Uni because of it, but I can’t imagine I’d bother to create a mumsnet thread about this.

I wish I had better understood my own needs and limitations when I was applying to university and tried to maximise my support systems.

It would have made a huge difference to my mental health, and probably cost a lot less in the long run.

Our college had no self-catering facilities at all for first-years. We were allowed a kettle and a Breville-style toastie maker (NOT a toaster for fire reasons) in our rooms and we got very creative with our toasties. In my year they had to put one girl in graduate accommodation so she could self-cater as she was an observant Jew and the main college kitchen couldn't cater for a kosher diet.

My dd is at a uni that offers both.
Would you judge if he had a disability that meant he couldn't physically cook? There's an account that keeps on popping up on my social media where you can see the catering at Stanford university and it looks amazing.

https://www.nottingham.ac.uk/hospitality/documents/menus/halls/dinner-menu.pdf

Out of curiosity looked at Nottingham menu is sounds good.
It’s definitely more sociable than cooking for 1 and eating in a bedroom alone or eating takeaway at random times.

What a strange thing to have an opinion about.

https://www.nottingham.ac.uk/hospitality/documents/menus/halls/breakfast-menu.pdf

Breakfast.

Why do you care so much about someone else's child and where they will be living?

These kind of threads are so weird. As if you’re that invested in the lives of your friends’ kids. Who cares?

YABU. Maybe he is thinking about the social side of everyone eating together. Anyway I don't think it's unreasonable, loads of unis have catered halls so he is hardly massively limiting his options.

Catered accommodation is a good option for people who aren't into the drinking/party/social life. It gives you a different place to hang out, meet people, etc. Uni flats are hit and miss and if you don't "gel" with your flatmates, it can be a very miserable year, especially, as I say, for those who aren't going drinking and partying. Some flats are as small as 6 people so there's no guarantee you're going to gel with such a small number of people.