Friend’s DS only wants a catered uni!

[Breakfastbars]

Rather than filter unis by campus vs city, distance etc, my friend said her Y12 son is only picking ones that offer catered accommodation. This is ridiculous in my view and, even when I pointed out that he will only live in halls for the first year, she got cross and said she thought it was a perfectly valid filter. AIBU?

It will be just one of several criteria, just like every other prospective student.

Course
Accreditation
Location city vs campus
Nightlife
Cost of accommodation
Ease of travel home
Etc etc

One of my DC ended up in catered, by chance, and has a GCSE in food and nutrition (or whatever) so more than capable. They still have to fend for themselves at the weekend.

You know why I chose catered OP? Because it meant I wasn’t in a flat with 4/5 random people having to share a kitchen etc, I was on a corridor of en-suite bedrooms with 20 odd people per floor. It was much easier to socialise with a wider group of people because we weren’t in flats and I didn’t have to get involved in stupid arguments about the state of kitchens, washing up etc. The food was fine and I was happy. I was perfectly capable of cooking, which I did once I moved into a flat with some people I actually chose and knew I’d get on with in my second year.

He may have reasons that aren’t purely an inability to cook. Any which way it’s not your business!

My boss chose her uni on the basis that it had the best looking men when she went on an open day.

I chose mine because a lot of bands that I liked played gigs at the Student Union.

People have whatever reasons they want.

I would imagine that he will have other criteria in mind too, such as quality of the course. On this basis, I think it is fine to narrow universities against what may feel like 'whimsical' criteria to some.

It's like filtering holidays by 'all inclusive'. Sounds fine to me. I might miss out on some good holiday choices, but I'll be damned if I'm cooking on holiday.

This is a very good point. My now best friend, 20 years later, was on my floor in halls, and there were 16 on my floor. Odds of us sharing a flat would have been slim.

This. Apart from the bit berating OP at the end for being interested, it’s an interesting observation OP. Might also be a concern if he was using this as his first filter rather than course quality/suitability.

It’s more sociable being catered in the first year - there are opportunities to meet people in the whole Hall at breakfast and dinner. If self-catering then you’re stuck with your flatmates and you may not get on with them.

Most unis offer catered accommodation to first years. Not many offer catered accommodation to older years! He'll have to learn to cook at some point.

But why are you worrying about it?

It's perfectly reasonable to want to spend the first year in catered halls if residence. This was the norm in the 70s and makes perfect sense. It gives the young person time to get used to living away from home.
It will be more expensive but it's his and presumably his parent's choice. I'm not sure why it bothers you.

Haha. @Theturtlethatcried said it much better!

Yep, I agree it's not a bad way of picking - I was in catered for the first year and met a lot more people than my friends in self-catered flats in other universities seemed to, even though I am very introverted.

I hope it is not because of an inability to cook, for other reasons, but is ultimately his choice.

than I did, is what I meant.

Are you funding it? If not I can’t see what business it is of yours or why you care?

Not an issue. My friend went to a catered uni (got a bit of stick at the time if I remember rightly but ignored it) and loved it, no problems.

Sounds a valid criteria for picking a uni to me. No different that wanting to be in a city, or on a campus. It’s a great way to meet people and saves time shopping and cooking. One of my criteria was the male/female ratios - ended up with a good degree and a good job, so it hasn’t been harmful!!

Same as @Trickedbyadoughnut , I was in catered halls and it meant everyone mixed loads. I pretty much knew everyone in my halls of about 150 people and lots of people ended up in friendship groups (and subsequently living with people in Y2/3) with people who didn't have a room near theirs. I think it works well for the first year. I could already cook and was pretty independent but it probably helped some to be eased into independent life. And everyone still had Y2/3 living out of halls.

My DC found a catered hall very sociable and a great way to meet people. In contrast, I have a few friends with DC in flats who found it hard to make friends. The old fashioned catered halls have a lot to recommend them.

I wouldn't be bothered by this, maybe he hates cooking, or would not have to meal plan or food shop.
if he hasn't got a dream school or other really specific criteria it doesn't massively limit his choices. Especially if he wants to do a fairly generic degree.
I picked my uni on a whim - it was one of three in a close enough radius to my family that ran the course and this one was the first one I looked at- it seemed good enough and I didn't bother looking at the others. The housing nearby was cheap.

One of my friends picked hers because it was near a beach she had been to on holiday as a kid and thought it would be nice to go back.

Another picked his because it was very near another branch of screw fix and his current job could tranfer him so he wouldn't have to bother applying for a new job.

A girl on the course with me, picked here because she had initially wanted to go abroad and thought the uni was in australia. Got halfway through her application before realising it was wales and just decided to go anyway.

For lots of people the actual uni doesnt really matter. As much as there are important differences between them, lots of it doesnt matter.
For my degree and the career that comes after, it doesnt matter where you studied- it doesnt even matter what class degree you get- you just have to pass. And you can pass at any Uni.

Dds uni has no catered halls. It's the one thing I'd change. Everything else is fine and it was the right choice. She's coped ok with cooking but I think it would have been nice to have

I think it depends how much it costs. Uni accommodation costs are extortionate already, I'd be wanting to save the money by getting my own food but if the parents are rich that's up to them.

And as a pp said, they tend to move out of halls after the first year, so what will he do then? Live on Deliveroo?

@Seeline but students have always done this - and when I did it in the 90s I didn’t have a phone to ring home or google how to cook. We survived. Honestly I know we’re not allowed to comment on the lack of resilience of young people nowadays but this shit doesn’t help 😄.

What on earth do you mean?
My DS chose catered halls (against my advice) because during his gap year he visited friends in non catered accommodation and was horrified at the state of the kitchens in flats.

DS is a very good cook, and was very put off by the kitchens. He was very glad he opened for catered, and then could choose who he shared with in his second year.

He went off to uni being able to cook, do his own washing (which he'd been doing since he was 13), budget and with a year of work under his belt.

What life skills do you think we failed to teach him?