MNetters obsession with weight and dress size

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Why are MN posters so obsessed with weight and dress size?

There have recently been quite a lot of weight related threads.

Depressing to see that women are still very much judged on appearance and body size. I couldn't care less what size you are or how much you weigh. Just be a decent, kind person.

No fat shaming or body shaming from me.

I agree OP, there was one poster recently lamenting the fact she was 8.5 rather than 8 stone and how massive she felt, and how - shock horror! - there was some fat on her stomach and thighs. Yep, that’s how adult women are supposed to look, some body fat is normal.

Also the threads where posters obsessively dissect what the OP eats. Regardless of what this includes there seems to be a group of posters who are the self-appointed carb police and who will tell the OP she’s eating way too many carbs. Despite not knowing if ‘toast for breakfast’ means 1 or 2 slices, or 1/2 or 4 slices for that matter.

And of course, this is an anonymous online forum, some people will be lying. I’m 5ft 3 and weight 11 stone. Or maybe I’m 5ft 8 and 9 stone. Or maybe I’m something else.

EXACTLY!

I’ve said before that I’m now the fattest and ‘healthiest’ (in terms of weight) I’ve ever been. My eating is the ‘healthiest’ and least disordered it’s ever been. I’ll likely never be objectively healthy due to chronic illnesses (not caused by my weight).

And you’re so right. The NHS/government has been trying to ‘fix’ the ‘obesity epidemic’ for nigh on 30 years and what’s happened? They’ve done exactly the opposite.

Also, lots of people state about the ‘risks’ of being a higher weight but that never takes into account the effect of weight cycling, which is proven to cause the alleged risks. They also don’t take into account delayed treatment due to weight stigma either. Nor do people seem to take on board that even IF it was as straightforward as people make out, intentional weight loss is not sustainable long term for the vast majority of the population.

And then you get the people saying they’re ‘only thinking of their health’…are they bollox! And then the NHS tripe..yet I bet they don’t say the same to sportspeople who break bones, drivers who have accidents etc etc.

Why can’t we all just be less judgmental and realise that everbody’s lives and circumstances are different. Berating someone for not being the current trend body size wise is going to do nothing but make them feel utterly shit.

I've been thinking about why the types of replies I described above bother me so much and I think it's because they often seem to be disingenuous. When people on here make a point of talking about how thin they are and how tiny their appetites are compared to those who "guzzle" and "wolf down" food and drink, to me it has the opposite effect of what they intend - i.e. it shows them as someone whose whole life is actually dominated by food, food choices, fear of getting fat, disgust towards (and envy of) those who don't care so much about what they eat/don't eat at every second. The kind of people who make comments if you take a piece of birthday cake at work or order a dessert AND a starter.

As someone who grew up in the 90s/00s with heroin chic and very thin women as the standard for beauty, these voices sound like spectres from that period and earlier, not like the modern women I know in real life (of any age). I remember women older than my mother's generation who were obsessed with dieting in that particular, judgemental, fastidious (maybe not quite the right word, but I mean it in the sense of e.g. cutting up a biscuit and carefully wrapping up half for another day) way from when I was a child, but don't really encounter those views in real life any more except on here, where they are strangely common.

Honestly the diet culture, demonising carbs and total disinformation on here is really bad.

On the other hand, lots of people are living really unsustainable lifestyles on the other end of the spectrum (drinking alcohol frequently, eating lots of ultra processed foods, no movement), and it's becoming really normalised too.

I rarely seem to see people who just eat normally and move a bit, it seems so extreme on both ends.

Yes we know that, and do you think the current strategies for tackling it are working, given that people continue to get fatter in spite of this knowledge?

But the OP didn't ask how we solve obesity. She asked why people are obsessed with it. And the serious health implications are no doubt one of the reasons why. That and the fact that we live in a society which aesthetically highly values thinness and are surrounded by images selling it. I don't think people's obsession with weight loss is any mystery at all tbh.

I find the behaviour very odd. Analysing food, asking strangers if they ate too much listing consumption. Bizarre

YANBU. Some threads on here are genuinely distressing.

I wonder if MN could ban any numbers talk when it comes to weight and food? I feel like there's a real problem with eating disorders on this site.

My parents, sisters and I all lived like that. Good old fashioned food with a good variety and we walked everywhere. The variety of food was a privilege of course and not something everyone has.

My parents and sisters still live like this. They’re all still slim. No extremes food wise or alcohol etc. Exercise regularly. I’m the only one who ever dieted in our family and the only one who ended up fat and with an ED.

As I’ve mentioned a few times, my diet is the least disordered it’s ever been and the healthiest since back before diet culture got its claws in me. I can’t exercise now, sadly, much as I wish I could. I don’t drink or smoke or anything but because I’m fat, I get treated like the scurge of society!

It's like a sick cult. One that promotes obsessing over weight and dress size, demonising carbs, rigid and intense devotion to being very thin - and then pumping the poor gaunt face with botox and fillers. At some point, osteopenia kicks in, and so everyone else must also go on HRT to prevent osteoporosis...

Is there a link to the 1,000 cals thread? Not something I would do but would be good to see ehy they think it’s too much calories.

I notice it too. I used to have an ED and I am drawn to certain threads but I notice a lot of (what I consider) disordered eating or thinking about food. I don't look at "what have you eaten today" because I know I would feel shit about myself....but also its probably very dull.

If anyone comments whether a model looks healthy or has been airbrushed, you get loads of posters falling over themselves to say they are 5'11 and naturally a size 4 (and conveniently enough their favourite food is salad) and that we've lost sight of normal bodyweight.

There was a thread recently about having a roast for lunch at around 2pm and what, if anything, you'd eat later. I was astonished that over half the responses claimed they'd eat nothing for the rest of the day, or perhaps some fruit etc. I know roasts can be a large meal, but they're still essential meat and some veg - I wouldn't think to not have dinner 6 or so hours later.

There is. I reported a particularly disturbing thread and MNHQ did nothing.

YANBU , OP.

The competitive under-eaters and over-exercisers pop up in threads that aren't even related.

And you can't even, say, discuss your favourite chocolate bar without them popping up to say they only ever eat one square of good quality dark chocolate 🙄

I'm glad you made this thread, OP. It's been bugging me for a while, and it seems to be getting worse. I do thinK MNHQ need to clamp down.

@Gossipxox ah that makes it alright then, drugs are illegal, alcohol and smoking in g heavily regulated….food however! Please stop it with the whataboutery

This one

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4768241-tell-me-if-you-personally-would-gain-or-lose-weight-on-this?page=1

It started off all right and then got weirder and weirder

It's always the carbs. And that bloody annoying 'hmmmm' thing.

'Hmmmm. I'd cut down a bit on the carbs. No-one needs half a pitta and a piece of rye in one day'.

Oh fuck off.

I always need 3 meals a day, unless I'm ill or severely stressed. I actively look forward to breakfast every morning.

Mumsnet and the intermittent fasting trend make me feel incredibly gluttonous for this, when it's actually the 'normal' way to eat.

@BeretRaspberry please can you go and have a look and see if you can find some data on how much sports people breaking bones costs the nhs a year v people being obese and overweight, I mean I don’t like to gamble but I’d put my house on the former being minuscule in comparison….we also have a stupidity epidemic as well quite clearly which in all honesty I do think is part of it.

Yes the pro ana leanings are distributing but so is normalising being obese.

It’s behind a pay wall sadly but if you can read it this review of the new book Ravenous in the Times is very interesting https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/ravenous-by-henry-dimbleby-jemima-lewis-review-pz06tdjpd.

So sorry to hear that. And it's not always as simple as cals in and out.

Give over. Do you really think obese people don’t know they’re obese? I mean they’d have to be deaf and blind not to realise. Do you also realise that there are many, many circumstances that can lead to being obese? And that fat people aren’t necessarily lazy, unfit, gluttonous.

One of the biggest risk factors for being obese is a previous history of dieting. One of the biggest risk factors for developing eating disorders is a previous history of dieting. ‘Obesity’ costs the NHS approx £6billion. Eating disorder treatment costs the NHS approx £9.4 billion (yearly).

I don't care how much they weigh, not my problem. But I absolutely care how much room they take up. I want to be able to get my arm rest down at the theatre, sit comfortably on a flight and have half of the bus seat to myself.

Well if it’s down to overeating yes that’s a life style choice. Same as smoking drinking alcohol caffeine drugs etc. And a lot of obesity stems from other health issues. Doesn’t necessarily make it a choice, and it’s always going to be this way so what’s the point in moaning about and putting people down and bringing the NHS in to it the NHS will still have to deal with problems related to obesity.. it’s ALWAYS going to be like that.

Mumsnet is the worst place for it ever
Nobody in real life is like this. And I don't know hardly any obese people