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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get really fucking irritated when people constantly interrupt me

110 replies

mrsfennel · 25/03/2023 10:01

Really pisses me off. Shut the fuck up until I have finished my sentence. I f I wait until they have finished talking, which I obviously do as I dont interrupt people, it is a one sided conversation.

I might as well put a cardboard cut out there and go and do the stuff I need to get on with.

OP posts:
Hopper123 · 25/03/2023 17:02

This is one thing I strongly dislike about myself...unfortunately if I get a thought in my head when someone is talking to me I have this need to blurt it out/ask the question .. I'm so conscious of it and try really hard not to do it as I know it comes across as rude but then I find I spend the entire time they are talking just purely concentrating on not interrupting them, maintaining eye contact etc that I end up missing most of what they are actually saying. It's very frustrating from my side too. I don't know what the answer is for me I guess just keep trying to train myself not to do it.

Original poster
mrsfennel · 25/03/2023 19:02

@Hopper123 Are you worried you might forget it? Or you get impatient maybe? At least you are aware of it.

OP posts:
mybeautifuloak · 25/03/2023 21:30

mrsfennel · 25/03/2023 10:10

@MatildaTheCat Yes I agree with your post, with a certain family member and a close friend the conversation bounces around equally. And we do interject at times.

What is the difference between interjecting and interrupting?

Original poster
mrsfennel · 25/03/2023 22:32

@mybeautifuloak Nothing I dont believe, I meant that with some people when a conversation is flowing sometimes Interrupting/Interjecting can happen from sides.

OP posts:
Antiquiteas · 26/03/2023 05:54

I get regularly interrupted by men at work. No matter the seniority, they think nothing of jumping in across me in the boardroom with whatever idea has popped into their, addressed solely to the other men in the room. Often it is unrelated to what I’m saying.

I now bring my own speaking to a dramatic halt the second they butt in, which acts to highlight it to everyone in the room, and you don’t get that desperate wrangle of trying to finish your sentence while they’re talking loudly over the top. I don’t hide any look of irritation I might have, either. It’s effective and makes them look a dick.

Coffeetree · 26/03/2023 08:02

Antiquiteas · 26/03/2023 05:54

I get regularly interrupted by men at work. No matter the seniority, they think nothing of jumping in across me in the boardroom with whatever idea has popped into their, addressed solely to the other men in the room. Often it is unrelated to what I’m saying.

I now bring my own speaking to a dramatic halt the second they butt in, which acts to highlight it to everyone in the room, and you don’t get that desperate wrangle of trying to finish your sentence while they’re talking loudly over the top. I don’t hide any look of irritation I might have, either. It’s effective and makes them look a dick.

Nice, well played.

SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 26/03/2023 11:06

I work with a bloke who constantly does this. He dominates all meetings with his inane drivel and if anyone else talks, he interrupts them with more drivel. He's not a senior staff member but management seem to think he's great so no one ever pulls him up on it and we are all expected to think he's wonderful, too!

Monstermunchmum · 26/03/2023 11:09

Sorry I am a classic interrupter! I have admitted it. Grew up in a house full of women , and we all talked over each other to get heard growing up. Terrible habit!

Antiquiteas · 26/03/2023 11:13

SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 26/03/2023 11:06

I work with a bloke who constantly does this. He dominates all meetings with his inane drivel and if anyone else talks, he interrupts them with more drivel. He's not a senior staff member but management seem to think he's great so no one ever pulls him up on it and we are all expected to think he's wonderful, too!

Let me guess, you’re all women?

CurlyTop1980 · 26/03/2023 11:14

My sister does this all the time. Its highly irritating. I just usually wait for her to finish and then continue with the original conversation. My SIL is a nurse who works in Childrens Safeguarding and I'm a social worker. My sister is a hairdresser. At Xmas my SIL had a job interview for a role in a team I used to work in. She was asking my advice. My sister who is a hairdresser and owns her own salon jumped in. Proceeding to tell us what My sister in law needs to do to secure the role...... it was completely irrelevant.

My sister does this with everything. It doesn't matter who she is speaking eith, even if they have a PHD in the subject. She will invariably interrupt snd give a completely irrelevant opinion on it.

As we're used to her. We waited and then I proceeded to explain the legislation and procedures she needs to unskill on.

I agree. It's annoying.

Funkyslippers · 26/03/2023 11:15

Antiquiteas how does that work though? I'm often brought to a dramatic halt because they've interrupted me but nobody seems to notice as the person in question has a louder voice than me. I would have to actually say something.

Funkyslippers · 26/03/2023 11:19

mrsfennel there's nothing wrong with interjecting if it's relevant to what the other person is saying, you can quickly say what you need to say then say "sorry, carry on" so at least you are aware that the other person hasn't finished talking. It's natural conversation usually. It's when people interrupt, don't let you finish and then dominate the conversation that drives me up the wall!

SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 26/03/2023 11:24

@Antiquiteas no funnily enough I'm the only woman on the team.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 26/03/2023 11:28

Don't ever talk to my aunt OP, you'd commit murder 😂

I stop dramatically and give her a stare when she does it. She takes no notice and continues ploughing through.

I don't see her loads, so at least there's that

Original poster
mrsfennel · 26/03/2023 12:33

@Funkyslippers yes thats exactly what I meant, you put it much better than me!

OP posts:
LoobyDop · 26/03/2023 17:21

I noticed this morning when I spoke to my mum, there wasn’t one point in the entire conversation when I got to finish a second sentence. Even when she asked me a question, she just interrupted and started talking about herself again before I’d answered. It’s become more and more of a thing with her. I’m not sure whether it’s hearing loss, rusty social skills post-covid, or something more sinister.

Flamingle18 · 26/03/2023 17:43

"Sorry didn't the middle of my conversation interrupt the start of yours?!" works well 😁

Funkyslippers · 26/03/2023 17:48

mrsfennel oh thank you!

Brightshinylight · 29/03/2023 15:56

I need to l learn how to do this. I listen to hours of utter bollocks. But what really pisses me off is when I get to speak, make a suggestion or put forward an idea which everyone likes, then they jump on it and ‘make it their own’. And just talk, endlessly, without any contribution of their own.

DahliaRose3 · 29/03/2023 17:36

I wanted to offer a different perspective. I have ADHD and unfortunately I end up interrupting people; but I genuinely hate it and it’s so embarrassing.

It is def a problem with executive functioning. It makes me very self conscious, and in addition to this I sometimes get my timing wrong (esp video team meetings), thinking someone has finished talking when actually it’s a pause. I do apologise, but am very self conscious and aware of it; and this seems to make the problem worse when I trip up, as I really concentrate and try extra hard to not do it, but often makes it worse. I obv don’t want to be rude on purpose. I nearly ended up in tears once on a work call, as I can get it so wrong and hate that I struggle with it.

I find it is worse when I get excited, or when the person is a very slow talker, lots of pauses. I know it might be very difficult to understand how someone can have trouble with this seemingly obvious thing, but even small talk, and conversations can be difficult for some people.

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 29/03/2023 17:48

DH and his siblings and MIL all do it. DH reasoning is that if you didn't interrupt when growing up in a house of 6 you never got to say anything. Fine I get that. But he's not in a house of 6 now. It's just me and him so that excuse doesn't wash. If he ever interrupts me now, I immediately stop talking and just stare at him...he then realises and shuts up 🤣 pisses me off no end.

Mil and sil say they have to say what's in their heads at that very point in time, otherwise they'd forget what it is they want to say. I also have this issue but don't interrupt even if I run the risk of forgetting what I wanted to say, if the chance came round for me to get a bloody word in edgeways!! 🤣 Bastards!! 🤣

Hannahbananaana · 29/03/2023 23:19

I can be an interrupter. I think it’s because I used to be really shy and everyone else would dominate the conversation and once they’d finished speaking, it would automatically move onto another topic without me getting a chance to speak too. This used to happen so often that at some point, I must’ve ‘trained’ myself to interrupt to get my point across or whatever. I am aware of it, I do apologise most of the time if I do it but I honestly maintain that half the time, if I didn’t do it, I would just end up having one sided conversations and never get a word in edgeways.

It’s like someone can say ‘oh I went to XYZ theme park the other day, I loved it, great fun, they have an amazing ride called XXX’ I know all about this because I too have gone to the theme park and gone on that ride and loved it too, if I didn’t interject and say ‘oh yes, I’ve been there I loved that ride too’ then they’d finish their sentence and just move onto another topic and then I feel like it’s not really a conversation and sharing experiences, more just one person talking.

Cuppa2sugars · 30/03/2023 00:52

i have a friend, we go to the same groups. She asks stupid questions in the middle of anyone’s stories, i told her off the other day when she did this to me, telling her she does it all the time. She’s a bit cautious around me atm but hopefully has realised how rude it is.

WildAloofRebel · 30/03/2023 07:00

@Hannahbananaana

’It’s like someone can say ‘oh I went to XYZ theme park the other day, I loved it, great fun, they have an amazing ride called XXX’ I know all about this because I too have gone to the theme park and gone on that ride and loved it too, if I didn’t interject and say ‘oh yes, I’ve been there I loved that ride too’ then they’d finish their sentence and just move onto another topic and then I feel like it’s not really a conversation and sharing experiences, more just one person talking.’

Absolutely this is me!! Happens all the time. Don’t know how to navigate it.

GeekyThings · 30/03/2023 07:53

Both talking and listening can be art forms, at times. Between two equal people speaking casually it will usually flow fairly easily, but things can be trickier to navigate when the two people are not equal in the conversation, and maybe don't have the knack for understanding social cues. Throw in a few different countries with different social cues and ways of speaking and it can turn into a big old mess!

I'm not sure whether you're being unreasonable or not because I've never had a conversation with you - as others have already said, if this is a running theme with nearly everyone you speak to it could be something you're doing, or not doing, during conversations. If it isn't that and it is all the people you're speaking to then that's harder to manage, albeit not impossible.

Maybe run through some practice conversations on your own - I know that sounds weird, but it can be very helpful getting a technique together for managing conversations. Also watching other people having conversations can be helpful too, you can pick up tips on what to do (or what NOT to do)!