To get really fucking irritated when people constantly interrupt me

[mrsfennel]

Really pisses me off. Shut the fuck up until I have finished my sentence. I f I wait until they have finished talking, which I obviously do as I dont interrupt people, it is a one sided conversation.

I might as well put a cardboard cut out there and go and do the stuff I need to get on with.

I sometimes get up and walk off

I deliberately interrupted a friend several months ago and she snapped back at me ‘I’m still talking’ .
What she didn’t seem to realise was that she had been talking non stop for the previous 20 minutes whilst I listened politely. We go out and it’s about 90% her talking, so I’ve actually stopped contacting her as she is clearly not interested in me.

So many people do this. They're not interested in your opinion, they just want to be heard. My DM is always telling me to get to the point, cos I'm so long- winded

I often feel like I have to say things in a hurry, as I think I'm detecting impatience from the person I'm talking to.

I find I often need to interrupt as people go on and on and leave no gaps. If this is a pattern I would think again about how you are communicating. Generally people love the sound of their own voice, are you giving a monologue. Some people also like to say everything they know about a subject and forget any need for back and forth.

Sorry, what were you saying?

YABU for having a personality that clearly lets lots of people think it’s ok to interrupt you.

I have one friend who does this all the time. Makes me want to stab her with a fork.

I sympathise.

Sometimes that’s just the way informal conversations go though.

I don’t think I interrupt exactly but I have a terrible habit, and I hate myself for this, for going ‘oh yes we went there too’ or ‘we did that’ or ‘my FIL is like that’ or whatever. Trying to show understanding, sympathy, or just that I know what/where someone is talking about, but I always worry it sounds very me me me. I had social anxiety for a long time and this is the remnants of it.

Now I’m worrying this post is very me me me but I kind of feel like you invited it?

Basically, the art of conversation is in the shitter.

By the way I am asking for advice on the above. What do you say other than ‘yes’ if not ‘oh yeah we love it at legoland’ or whatever? I end up pretending I’ve got no experience of XYZ sometimes as I don’t want to be all ‘yes we’ve done that’ too.

Ime this is usually the reason people interrupt. It’s quite rude and lacking in awareness to talk at people to the point that they have to interrupt to get a word in.

I think most people hate being interrupted, no?

Sometimes it’s unavoidable but if someone is doing it routinely it needs calling out. It’s disrespectful.

@happinessischocolate

I think your friend could be on the autistic spectrum

That’s a really good point. A bit of give and take is needed. People shouldn’t interrupt but no one should expect to be allowed to dominate a conversation indefinitely and bang on and on.

A bit of self awareness on both sides and an ability to read the room.

It never ceases to amaze me how many conversations are like tennis: one person bangs out their views and then the other person bangs their views back. It’s not a conversation at all really it’s just competitive speaking.

Someone I know interrupts all. the. time. It is bloody annoying but I find myself being a bit forgiving because I know she hasn't been heard her whole life.

It doesn't stop it being rude though.

I hope I don't do this.

But sometimes I feel i need to write down notes on what the other person is saying so I can respond.
If I disagree with something said at point A in the conversation, then a whole argument/point of view is built around point A. There are two choices for the listener. Butt in at point A and discuss that before moving on or let the rest of the argument develop even though its completely pointless, then just smile and nod at the end, because there's no point in responding.

When a conversation also has a debatable point B,C, and D. If there is no chance to enter the conversation then its just a monologue.

I work in an environment where people interrupt all the time. It's busy, loud, fast paced and interrupting is culturally endemic so I'm very used to it.

If you want to keep talking just carry on, speak over them by slighly increasing your volume and don't let them interrupt
or stop, tell them you haven't finished and then carry on or wait for them to finish and then say I'll deal with that in a minute but as I was saying and go back to what you were talking about.

It's not polite but it's part of life and confident adults really should be able to manage it.

IME the people who get most upset about being interrupted rarely speak so when they do they think this gives them an entitlement to be listened to (which is a totally false premise) and also lack self-confidence (so it upsets them disproportionately).

Just see it for what it is - a bit rude but easily manageble.

My mum does this ALL THE TIME. And it drives me nuts. She asks me a question and halfway through answering she's off again and it's utterly infuriating.

I have to pull her up on it every single time. It's exhausting.

I've just come out of hospital and feeling rough still and I literally cannot get to the end of a sentence without her jumping in. I just stop talking in the end because I cannot deal with it!

My sister interrupts all the time. I just keep talking. It's so rude. She actually has a job where she is supposed to be a good listener!!

DH does sometimes too and I just call him out on it.

Maybe you’re boring and ramble on

I have a friend who finishes my sentences - often to something completely different to what I was going to say! Drives me mad 😀

I once was seeing a man who would often ask me a question then interrupt my answer, sometimes even with a total change of subject!

I started to go off him really quickly (but not quick enough back in my doormat phase of life) and just used to sit in silence to see how long it would take him to notice I wasn't. He used to say "you're being quiet is everything ok" and I'd just reply "every time I talk you interrupt me so I am not going to keep talking am I?" Obviously made no difference.

Then once at dinner, he asked me a question about a piece of tech I have that he was really interested in getting. I said "you have asked me that earlier today then interrupted me when I tried to answer" and just stared at him watching him squirm. He apologised but expected me to still give him the info he wanted which I refused. He had had his chance and chose to interrupt me (I am very stubborn!) He didn't do it again though.

and just used to sit in silence to see how long it would take him to notice I wasn't. He used to say "you're being quiet is everything ok" and I'd just reply "every time I talk you interrupt me so I am not going to keep talking am I?" Obviously made no difference.

This is exactly what I meant when I said that people who get disproportionately upset about being interrupted tend to have low self confidence. You are just sitting there is silence sulking because you are interrupted.

A confident person will as I said above just deal with it there and then in one of several different ways.

Don't you see the only person you are hurting here is yourself? You are creating a sulky silent atmosphere by biting of your own nose to spite your face.

Fair enough you weren't compatible with this guy but really you are totally over-reacting and handling something that is a problem for you very poorly.

DH does this all the time. Like I'll say "Oh, this afternoon I'm going to..." and he'll interrupt with "the library?" or something equally random. I now take great pleasure in stopping my sentence, staring at him, and saying "no". Then wait until he apologises and finish my sentence. It has helped a bit.

Eurgh, sorry OP I'm someone who does this. If it's any consolation I hate it about myself. I try really hard not to, and every time I do it my stomach sinks. I had a stutter when I was younger and a lot of speech therapy, maybe it's some sort of side effect. Or maybe I'm just incredibly annoying. It's the no.1 thing I'd change about myself if I could, and I will forever try.

DP used to interrupt me all the fucking time but he stopped once I stopped continuing what I was saying. Ie he’d interrupt with his shite - usually finishing my sentence incorrectly or concluding something the opposite to what I was saying, then be all “sorry; what were you saying?” I would waft away saying “It obviously wasn’t important otherwise you wouldn’t have interrupted.” This annoyed him into stopping.