To feel infertility makes me want kids less and less?

[leaveitnow1244]

Just hearing kids is starting to make me feel it's probably a good job it hasn't happened.

Is it really different when they're your own?

I hope so! I just find the majority of them...annoying!!

Has anyone else felt the longer time goes by unable to conceive (4 years now) it's perhaps for the best or is that my defence mechanism?!

They are annoying. I have no idea how teachers do it (hats off). I think you have more tolerance with your own but they are still annoying. Good luck xx

Other people’s children are often very annoying. Mine can be pretty annoying too to be fair, it’s just very different when they’re yours, but I do still feel annoyed by them at some point most days!

I ttc for 6 years while teaching and it still didn’t put me off 😂.

In all seriousness though OP it could well be a very good défense mechanism ❤️.

Infertility sucks 😢

“If life gives you lemons, make lemonade”

Definitely a healthy response, I think. There is so much more to life than mourning the things that didn’t happen.

This is me all over 😂
Just finished my first round of IVF and the closer it got to it I was like hmmm…. Kids are hard work, do I really want one of those?
I was fully convinced if it didn’t work I would be like ‘oh well, I didn’t really want one anyway’ but when it did all start to go wrong I was absolutely devastated and realised just how much I wanted that little bump and the end of the road.
so yes, I’d say like me you convinced yourself you don’t actually want children as a defence mechanism and to make you feel like you won’t be upset if it doesn’t happen, but it does still hurt 💔
Although, I do still think most kids are annoying, I’m just convinced that mine wouldn’t be and that they would be perfect little human beings that every other parent would be jealous of 😂

Lol thanks for the reality check!! Honestly I was just waiting for an appointment and these two kids were running around the waiting room being loud, the mum would say be quiet and sit and they'd ignore her and the cycle would continue and I thought..are they unruly kids or is this just what happens in which case not sure I want this as it's bloody annoying!!! 😂😂 and that was only being in their presence five minutes!!

Is it really different when they're your own?

Nope, but you can't return them so

In the words of Michael McIntyre Kids are like farts...
Your own aren't too bad but other peoples are intolerable!

I think there is a lot of people who would disagree with you there…. That is incredibly close minded.
Would you say that if someone is born blind there is a reason they can’t see as they would see things that annoy them?
There are plenty of people who are ‘infertile’ and go on to have kids through other means and are amazing parents - even if their kids are annoying.
And also plenty people who SHOULDNT be parents but easily become pregnant so your logic just doesn’t make sense.

Other peoples children do my head in but my own is so different haha

Children aren’t just a generic group of people who are all the same. I like some of them, but not others. Most people love their own more than they love anyone else. Doesn’t mean children aren’t annoying at times, but all people can be annoying.

When they're in a whiny mood they can be very annoying to be fair

How nasty @SecretPornstar ! What a mean thing to say

Ridiculous and thoughtless thing to say. So, parents who abuse their kids are meant to have kids?

This is a real dick thing to say. What about people who abuse and kill their own kids? They could conceive?

I can see your trying to be uplifting to op, but there's no correlation either way. It's just biology. Some people can, some can't and that's all there is to it.

@SecretPornstar yeah right...and the reason would be?
Easy to complain when you have your own and you have no idea what infertility means.

@leaveitnow1244 I understand you completely. I am meant to start round 3 of IVF and I am dreading it.

I am usually just a lurker but this really got me going. I am going through infertility treatments through no fault of my own (hello endo) and you’re suggesting that it’s natures way of telling me not to be a parent?
Piss off.

OP, I completely understand. I wonder sometimes whether I should just save my money and travel or develop a handbag collection (after we get through this cost of living crisis). Then I see a newborn and I physically ache. Bloody hormones x

Please don’t say this to anyone in real
life. It really hurts. 😞

I really hate being around other people's children.

Jeez have you seen some of the people that can have kids.
Utter nonsense.

That's truly one of the most insensitive, awful comments I've seen on Mumsnet.

I hope you're a troll and that's not actually your genuine opinion.

You probably think that people who get cancer deserve to die, too? That's just nature, by your own logic.

100% feel this 🙌🏼