To feel infertility makes me want kids less and less?

[leaveitnow1244]

Just hearing kids is starting to make me feel it's probably a good job it hasn't happened.

Is it really different when they're your own?

I hope so! I just find the majority of them...annoying!!

Has anyone else felt the longer time goes by unable to conceive (4 years now) it's perhaps for the best or is that my defence mechanism?!

You are honestly a fucking imbecile

I know it's a different situation OP but I have two children and even now I ache to carry another child and hold a newborn and love them. Thinking with my head I don't want the expense or the work but the heart (or rather the hormones) has its own ideas.

I don't have children. Like some others, it wasn't through choice. I tried for 6 years and had 3 ectopic pregnancies. After the last one, the surgeon pretty much said it would never happen naturally.

The whole journey had been stressful, worrying, painful so I made the choice to close the book on it. I'm much happier as a result and the longer time goes on, I realise having a child was not right for me.

I do love kids though. I often am designated babysitter for friends and family. I guess my point is, not having kids was not the end of the world for me. I have been able to enjoy the delights of kids without having my own.

Having kids is wonderful, as is not having them. I very nearly couldn’t have a baby, and had accepted it wouldn’t happen. I think you can mourn the loss of both of your lives. I have a 4mo; we’re both currently ill & miserable.

There are so many benefits to being child free too. I wish I had seized the day more, and did more with all my own me time.

Hell is other people's children OP.

When I was finally 12 weeks pregnant after 2 rounds of IUI and 4 rounds of IVF we agreed to help at my niece's 4th birthday party. Omg. The noise. The mess. The mayhem. But mostly the noise.

We both spent the two hour car journey home afterwards saying "whathavewedone" over and over.

Our bean made it and is a delightful little person who I love spending time with. My niece is also pretty cool. But other kids - still hell. 😄

Other people’s children are the worst. Truly. I’m not mad maternal but have a child. He’s great, most of the time. I really have no interest in other people’s. At all.

@Needsomeadvice33 this is such a Good point as four years ago I got pregnant and went until week 10.

I had thought about it lots but no where near as much as now four years down the line infertility.

I didn't have the time as you point out to think as deeply as now.

Every time there's a loss I think is this the right thing?

Every time I wake in the morning or go out in the evening I think, do I really want this to stop?

I have had an extra four years of those thoughts which I wouldn't have had if it happened right away and I'm not sure these thoughts have been a good or a bad thing

@Antiquiteas 😂😂 I'm glad it's not just me then!

All you know for certain is that your life would change.

I went through multiple cycles of fertility treatment to finally have a live birth & it took over our lives for many years.
I love my child unconditionally… but I still dislike many other children and find them rude, annoying and far too loud 🤣🤣
Good luck OP. It’s different when it’s your own (although they still irritate the Hell out of you some days!!!)

It took us 5 years and many rounds. It was horrendous and took over my life and made me a bit mad for a bit.

ds totally worth it though.

wishing you all the best and a big non mn hug.