To not be over what happened to me during covid/lockdowns

[ifyougochasingrabbits]

Just a few of the things I went through

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy. Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it. He was on half pay as furlough was only paid up to about 30k salary iirc and if you were on more it was employers discretion to pay the full salary which his work didn't. He was even applying for jobs at supermarkets and delivery driving etc and getting no where despite having a high level job at a major house builder.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them.

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends had views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.
And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school (this was due to my kids really struggling with them) My 14 year old said he agreed and some of them then found him on fb and messaged him insulted his looks and called him stupid and a fucking moron etc. This was actual grown adults.

a random person inboxed me on Facebook due to seeing my business ad and threatened to "smash my face in" because she thinks i was “endangering lives” by working

My neighbour reporting us to the police for having an illegal gathering. This "illegal gathering" was me, my H and our 3 dc having a bbq in the garden. Needless to say we all live together

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety in fact I minimised it to the gp. I was actually suicidal and the only reason I am still here is because of my kids and the fact my husband and parents had the same views as me. But I would secretly hope to die in my sleep and almost every day I would wake up and cry because I was still here.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids were doing and coping doing all their work, managing great. And knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut. One of my kids is still very unwell mentally and it all started with lockdowns

Oh and to add final insult to injury, in November 2021 I had to pay £5700 (which was part credit card and part all of our savings) privately for an operation that should have been freely available on the nhs. But cos covid they could not give me a date and I was getting more and more poorly and could not wait.

I am still angry and maybe I should get over it. But I can't. And There's probably more but these are the stand out moments. I'm doing okay now and I have a new business and I'm doing well, H has a new job as he could not trust his old place after covid. but I've been very low again recently with the anniversary of it all

To suppress transmission below catatrosphic levels (i.e., the point at which healthcare/supermarket chains/waste disposal etc starts breaking down), the majority of people needed to follow guidelines.

Those in government without any morals were all too happy to let the general public take the brunt of this, whilst flouting the rules themselves.

This has been said over and over again, but never seems to be taken in. If Bojo's son needed surgery, he'd get a bed, staff, and ICU care. He wouldn't be waiting in line behind the rest of us.

I know a couple whose baby died (not from COVID or anything COVID related) and his funeral was on the day that garden took place. They were restricted to 5 people so they had to pick which parent couldn’t bury their baby grandson. Makes me sick.

She's selfish and ignorant because whether masks outside was a good idea or not, that was the school rule in place. OP decided her ideas were better, and forced the school to have later drop offs and pick ups for kid, because she refused to put one on for 5 minutes. She chose to inconvenience everyone, because she knew better.

She didn't force anyone. That was entirely the fault of whoever was making the bad decisions in the school and 100% of the blame attaches to them.

When you run a business and rely on word of mouth and your social media etc to get clients/retain clients...

It is bloody stupid to express controversial opinions where people can see them - whilst I agree, people behaved badly, to some extent you brought some of the mask refusal shit upon yourself there. Own it.

You could rebuild your business... if you hadn't publically expressed unpopular or controversial opinions and been an arse about it. Again, that's on you.

The rest, well everyone experienced similar stuff there, perhaps not all of it, but plenty.

I've lost a huge amount of mobility and almost certainly shortened my already reduced lifespan by not getting ops I should have got in that two year period and thats still being affected now... nor do I have the money for private ops.

Pre covid, I was still independent, despite being a wheelchair user, I could go places and do stuff, stay home alone over night etc.

Now, I can't be left alone more than a few hours.

So you'll have to forgive me if I am not gushing with sympathy really - its shit, its shit for a lot of people, you're certainly not alone, but people whose attitudes to mask wearing like yours have absolutely made the lives of extremely vulnerable people like ME much harder.

Theres also really not much worse for anyones mental health, that discovering that the government AND the population in general, are happy to consider me expendable because I am disabled.

I lost rights, fought for by disabled people before me. We were NOT considered, we were not helped properly, some of us couldn't get food, nevermind health care and the general attitude from many was 'ah well if they die, thats ok they were disabled anyway'.

This

Other than the things that really should have been reported to the police (threats, verbal abuse against children, etc) I really think you need to let go of the anger you're still holding.

The pandemic was horrible. COVID was and still is a horrible virus. It's evolved to be less lethal than it was, but it's still horrible. People are still dying, still being admitted to hospital, still having long-term complications. These days, though, people just don't seem to care that much until it's them or their loved one on a hospital trolley.

You were and still are entitled to your own views on the pandemic. Your friends and customers were entitled to have different views and choose to avoid contact with someone who didn't share their views when it came to something which could have been a life or death issue for them and their loved ones.

You chose not to wear a mask at the school gates. The school found a way to enable your daughter to still access her school despite your decision about the masks. If you didn't like their solution, you could have chosen an alternative option. That's not something to be bitter over. It's done now.

You lost money. That sucks. But not as much as losing your loved ones or dying from COVID would have. Rather than being bitter about a financial situation that was still better than a lot of people had, maybe you could reflect on how fortunate you and your family were to have come through the pandemic safely.

Maybe save some of your sadness and anger for the struggles of the people who died, the people left with long-term complications, the bereaved people whose loved ones died, and the people who worked tirelessly through it all to try to save lives and keep the country functioning, often at great personal cost.

Wow
Were you in an isolation tank for the last three years? Did you not hear about how people were dying? And their family not being able to go to the funeral? People with long COVID? The stress of homeschooling? But you didn't want to wear a mask but still had the luxury of the time to take your child to school before presumably going home for a busy day asking why you had to wear a mask? So at a time when school staff and kids and other parents were massively stressed already, they had to make special arrangements for you to pick your kid up seperately because you literally are that important? I'm in awe of you.

'Had to'.

You chose not to wear a mask at the school gates. The school found a way to enable your daughter to still access her school despite your decision about the masks.

It would have been extremely immoral, if not illegal, to deny a child education because their mum won’t wear a mask outdoors

You lost money. That sucks. But not as much as losing your loved ones or dying from COVID would have

Where to start with this one.

Firstly - how patronising and presumptuous.

Secondly - is this supposed to make the OP feel better?

And thirdly - you don’t know that’s true. My grandad died recently aged 88. He died of pneumonia. I was devastated of course but death is a part of life and if I lost my livelihood then the impact would be much bigger. That is NEVER supposed to happen.

Maybe save some of your sadness and anger for the struggles of the people who died, the people left with long-term complications, the bereaved people whose loved ones died, and the people who worked tirelessly through it all to try to save lives and keep the country functioning, often at great personal cost.

Why should she when she has lost so much? Why can’t everyone have sympathy?

Did you not hear about how people were dying?

This bizarre attitude has to stop. We are all going to die. Stop acting like it’s unnatural or offensive.

Have very mixed feelings about this OP

You certainly suffered a lot both financially and with mental health of you and your family and for that I am truly sorry. I know people who had the same impact ad many of them also struggle to recover and reconcile this understandably.

But I cant understand how you can't see the other sides to the story, those posters just before me clearly demonstrating how others were struggling too with the direct impacts of covid and you just laughed at this or shrug it off

I equally despised those who hoarded, shouted at people for not wearing masks when they couldn't and for not following the arrows as a child. But also those who decided they were going to ignore all the rules or laugh at shopping washers or those that they were going to draw their own guidance up

Of course many rules seemed odd at the time, or after, or unfair . But I don't envy those who had to come up with them or enforce them. It was a pandemic and lines had to be drawn.

At the end of the day you wearing a mask for school drop off may have made all the difference to how those who were vulnerable ( parents, teachers, pupils) felt about going to school themselves. It wasn't just about you and your narrative

And this is what you just genuinely don't seem to get

To do the work she says she's doing now and apparently earning very well at, you need a minimum level 3 qualification or alternative registration, for example in nursing or dentistry in order to take out appropriate indemnity insurance.

If this kind of retraining is so easy and lucrative I'm surprised more people aren't doing it. There seem to be a lot of mickey mouse online courses too.

It's immoral that her actions might have prevented someone else's education

For the last time covid did not just impact the vulnerable and elderly

I haven't seen much sympathy from the OP for other peoples positions which others have clearly laid out. That's the point

There were very many tragic problems that came from the pandemic, very wide ranging. Sympathy goes both ways

Everyone has a story about lockdown and many of them are much tougher than yours OP. Maybe it’s your attitude that caused many of your problems - helping others feel safe around you may have helped.

helping others feel safe around you may have helped.

But for some people whatever you did wasn’t enough. I have bad hay fever and it makes me cough. I was told I should stay indoors in case I scared people. I wore a mask when it was mandated, I cough into my elbow but that still wasn’t enough for the zealots

They died in higher numbers than would be expected, in pretty grim circumstances. People who didn't expect to die for quite a while were dying, often fairly quickly after contracting it. Even after vaccination people are affected by long term effects of it.

But yeah. Let's not stop people dying, or support them to live longer better lives. We're all hurtling towards the grave anyway. What's the point in anything. 🙄

Don't forget edgy too. So godamn edgy.

I guess this is one of these posts where I agree with most of what you've said and I understand your anger but I know people will judge you for it.
There are lots of situations where compliance is the simplest solution. It doesn't mean its the easiest. We all have different natures and I'm not an appeaser. I can but I chose not to open my mouth (or engage keyboard) as a matter of principal. I don't always predict fully the consequences but lets say l speak up and it 'kicks off'. If my children are bullied or I get a brick through my window, I'm not taking responsibility for that. I actually find other well-meaning folk advising me to 'just leave it' as harmful as the back lash myself. I find it shocking how hateful people can be.
What I have noticed is a lot of the things you have mentioned happened to a huge amount of people. Mental ill health and financial hardship was rife and many are still experiencing the after shocks.
I think what you're really angry at is how hateful people can be because of a reasonable difference of opinion.
I once commented on a thread about a middle aged woman who's husband of 30years was jailed for kiddie porn. Initially she thought it was a mistake. The post was about her experience. I dared to say that she was a victim too and next thing I'm a paedophile sympathiser and receiving hate comments and threats. ...but I would not retract my statement....because I believed I was right.
I think you need to separate what is related to Covid (most of it) and what was down to human nature.

Covid is airborne. You decided you weren't going to follow the rules. You are entitled and arrogance and you created many of the issues you experienced.

Oops ". I can but I chose not to open my mouth (or engage keyboard) ...should be...
I can keep my mouth shut, but I choose not to

Yes, this.

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl

I think it's pretty clear we have extremely different views on a lot of things.

I would have given every penny, everything I had in the world to have more time with the people I've lost.

Death is part of life. An easy enough statement for people to say as they try to make it easier for them to not really care about lives lost.

Would you have said that to my face as I buried my first child during the pandemic?

What about the people who buried their husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, friends? Death is part of everyone's lives - that doesn't mean we should just shrug our shoulders when people died when they didn't have to.

Some of us lived through hell during those years and what we lost we can never get back. We can't retrain or rebuild the families we lost, we can't just undo the nightmares from what we saw. People can't just walk off the lasting disabilities. Money, careers, housing... None of it is worth a damn in comparison with the life of someone you love, taken many years before anyone could reasonably say "well, it was their time, they'd had a good run" or any of that rubbish.

To me, you sound like a great mother and businesswomen. To see your business being criticised must be beyond awful, and the impact on your family sounds even worse. I'm so sorry.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but do you regularly feel completely in control of your work/home/life balance? I remember Boris putting out the bulletin to stay home, and taking my diazepam as I was so worried, and didn't know what it meant for us. It was completely unknown territory. I didn't have my own business, employees or an employer!nI don't like leaving my house at all, but the fact I couldnt, in the end made it worse. I couldn't wear masks either, but had a lanyard saying I had a disability, and people were so kind...mainly because I had to run out of queues and abandoned my trolly.

A different way of looking at it, is I have agoraphobia,so I guess you could say we're opposites 😊 my turn for another round of CBT came up in lockdown, and I told my therapist to give my appointments to someone else, as my problem is going out, and we aren't allowed too! I've had this therapist for years and he agreed.

take away everyone's illness, deaths, financial issues, (which my family suffered aswell unfortunately and still haven't recovered). I selfishly, honestly was so happy that I had no pressure on me to go anywhere.

homeschool nearly broke me with kids having lessons ten minutes apart online. (2 out of three have SEN). On these lessons I saw so many kids that were 8/9 alone at home, because their parents were key workers, and got knocks on the door from teachers to check they were cared for. There just wasn't room at our tiny school.

I care for my extremely vulnerable mum. The first few weeks before the madness set in, I could go walking for an hour a day if I wanted, home school, rules and regs adhered to. I was fine, don't go out much anyway, so the rules barely applied to me. But after about 3 weeks I also went stir crazy. I managed to just go for lovely rural drives with my husband and kids, get out of the car because it was so quiet and birdwatch, get out of the car at the park, not jump back in. i still couldn't walk far, and had to have the car unlocked, and the keys in my hand. But, That showed me that really, as much as I would love to be confined inside for infinity, I had an urge to get out into nature, go for a drive without worrying the car would break down, the car locks would malfunction and I couldn't "escape" a situation and hide. I didn't even have to leave the car, could wear my slippers if i wanted, but I got to join in the joy of my kids that my condition he robbed me so much of.

maybe lockdown taught you to slow down and me to speed up and not be afraid? Just another perspective. Hope you don't mind my opinion x

This is an odd thread OP. You started off by explaining how difficult things were for you, presumably to get some support on here.

You’ve ended up arguing with and belittling those who disagree with you. I thought you had a victim complex when you started this thread but clearly you just enjoy arguing.

Yeah, sure, all of those people fighting it on ventilators without their loved ones "barely noticed it".

How fucking foolish can anyone be!