To not be over what happened to me during covid/lockdowns

[ifyougochasingrabbits]

Just a few of the things I went through

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy. Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it. He was on half pay as furlough was only paid up to about 30k salary iirc and if you were on more it was employers discretion to pay the full salary which his work didn't. He was even applying for jobs at supermarkets and delivery driving etc and getting no where despite having a high level job at a major house builder.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them.

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends had views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.
And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school (this was due to my kids really struggling with them) My 14 year old said he agreed and some of them then found him on fb and messaged him insulted his looks and called him stupid and a fucking moron etc. This was actual grown adults.

a random person inboxed me on Facebook due to seeing my business ad and threatened to "smash my face in" because she thinks i was “endangering lives” by working

My neighbour reporting us to the police for having an illegal gathering. This "illegal gathering" was me, my H and our 3 dc having a bbq in the garden. Needless to say we all live together

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety in fact I minimised it to the gp. I was actually suicidal and the only reason I am still here is because of my kids and the fact my husband and parents had the same views as me. But I would secretly hope to die in my sleep and almost every day I would wake up and cry because I was still here.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids were doing and coping doing all their work, managing great. And knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut. One of my kids is still very unwell mentally and it all started with lockdowns

Oh and to add final insult to injury, in November 2021 I had to pay £5700 (which was part credit card and part all of our savings) privately for an operation that should have been freely available on the nhs. But cos covid they could not give me a date and I was getting more and more poorly and could not wait.

I am still angry and maybe I should get over it. But I can't. And There's probably more but these are the stand out moments. I'm doing okay now and I have a new business and I'm doing well, H has a new job as he could not trust his old place after covid. but I've been very low again recently with the anniversary of it all

YABU

My mum died in front of me, on the floor of the living room. She was too young.

All of your issues were self inflicted. And you could've got financial support from the government for your business, your husband was furloughed, some of us still had to work.

And I think this is important. My Dad was moved from hospital to a care home on lockdown. The first time I saw his room was 2 years later when he was dying - we had to fight to get in there (and we only did cos I threatened to sue and it was the weekend and no manager was contactable). He still had covid twice in that time. The weekend he died was the first time I’d been allowed to touch him in 2 years. He was unconscious by then. It would have been kinder for us if he had just been surrounded by family in his final few months, even if he had died sooner.

I realise I was lucky to be able to spend my dads final hours with him, but I’ve had to seek counselling about all the time that was taken away from us.

You absolutely lost me in the first half when you were stupid enough to jeopardize your child's education by choosing to have them start late and finish early because you wanted to make a stupid point about a mask. Where are your priorities? You need to have a look at yourself. You brought that about. YABU.

It's not difficult to work out the relevance, given the OP's insistence that covid restrictions and precautions weren't needed. If you were having to do a shitty job that was made much more difficult by reason of covid, it's easy to see why your direct experience might make you think that OP was being selfish and entitled to moan that people didn't agree with her.

On the whole I followed the rules. I certainly didn't wear masks in the street but would have standing in a crowd of other parents. I also went out every day for a long walk- not the short exercise period we were told to.

I lost money- I work as a consultant part-time but DH was fine with his salary and we managed. Upsetting was the unknown about it all, the idiots on the trains refusing to wear masks and sitting coughing and sneezing, my uncle dying from Covid, worrying about PIL and DH's grandma, a friend's daughter died (she was a nurse and only in her 20s), the government were their usual entitled selves. The damage done to our NHS and local services by the government was disgraceful. The plight of adult social care was fully revealed and the Tories continued to make billions for their pals from it.

But I think we (our little family) are ok at the end of it and I am grateful for that and sorry for those who lost close family and friends. The task for all of us now is to build back a strong society- this government has destroyed it over that last 13 years.

OP - you sound not a very kind person. You sound quite aggressive and self-obsessed. Not everyone will agree with your views. Not everything is about you and many people who know you probably don't like you much; and that's where the negativity towards you came from.

This.

An average is that so if the average is 84 a good number would be above 84!!! If a huge number of young people were dying the average would come down a lot.

what kind of average do the ONS use, because 84 seems very high for a mean average, but seems ok for a modal average, you would generally expect the highest number of deaths among the older members of a population

I totally agree with you op. People mindlessly obeyed unscientific restrictions on their liberty enforced by politicians of questionable morals. As for the sainted NHS, it went slap happy with midazolam and morphine combos when people were in respiratory distress, entirely at odds with NICE guidance. The Milgram experiment came to life in 2020 and our fellow man had no compunction about turning on us because 'science'. https://behavioralscientist.org/how-would-people-behave-in-milgrams-experiment-today/

If we had done that you can guarantee the same posters who moan constantly about lockdowns and furlough would instead have been on here howling about how disgusting it is that the government didn't act.

Sorry you received abuse that was out of order but tbh I think I'd have dumped you as a friend too you sound contrary and hard work
Lots of people suffered

I'd be unimpressed that you couldn't bother to wear a mask to get your five year old to school on time tbh. I'd also think, just from reading your post, that you were possibly quite exceedingly self centred about the way you raised issues which I imagine may have hastened your friends departure. I'm sorry about your mental health and your children's mental health issues. If I'm honest I'm sorrier about the people who lost their lives and for those who are suffering life chging results from having COVID, particularly those who got it before vaccines. Hope your life and your family's lives improve.

Nailed it.

If the schools decided you needed to wear masks at pickup why didn't you wear one? Pickup takes all of 5 minutes, it's your own doing deciding not to. Your post reads as you didn't agree with any of the measures taken, fine whatever but why still go on about it? People were scared, lots of people did die, you were going on social media shouting about not agreeing with things, why didn't you just keep your thoughts to yourself? Your husband will have got half pay so 30k? For sitting at home doing nothing, you are even complaining about that?

It's a pity you had a tough time, but come on now lots of people lost relatives to covid and couldn't be there when they died. Have a bit of perspective on this.

YANBU because you can't help how you feel.

A lot of people will say YABU because people died, they lost loved ones, almost died from covid themselves etc and they're not wrong either - I lost two loved ones and covid very nearly took me too BUT the way I see things is if a person breaks their arm and the person next to them breaks both their arms, the person with one broken arm is still in pain.

The thing that really got to me during covid was the amount of people who literally fought other people for food and toilet paper. It felt like we lost so much humanity.

I really hope you can recover from this soon OP, I don't have any real advice but sending a hand hold 💐

I am so sorry for your loss 💐
I notice the OP hasn't acknowledged you.
You need to move on OP. Access help if needs be. Life keeps a moving even when we can't.

Totally agree

As mentioned I said I wore masks in shops etc but I was not wearing one outside it was purely performance safety

The only vaccine side effects I know of are:

my friend had a stable, benign brain tumour grow for the first time in years.

A colleague had bells palsy/numbness in her arm for a few weeks afterwards.

OP, my sympaties.
Do not forgive or forget the bullies.

You chose not to wear a mask and impacted your dd, you chose to voice that 'you weren't scared of covid' (great when people are dying bit hey ho), and you commented online anti mask sentiments. When you run your own business you really cannot be making statements like that online. Do you see you made things worse for yourself and your family

All of this.

I also had to laughing about being depressed being furloughed. Sorry but your husband was receiving a salary for sitting at home. Why are you complaining about that?

I think being called out for acting a fool is slightly different from bullying.

So you acted like a total dick throughout the pandemic and are now still complaining that people didn't want to be associated with someone who acted like you did?

I really don't understand how your three children completely fell apart because school was closed. That suggests they had serious issues already, doesn't it?

Yanbu. It has now accepted masks never worked. Those of us who refused to go along with the theatre are owed an apology.

Nope, I don't recall saying anything about the Nazi's informing my decisions...sorry to debunk your narrative!

Having to wear masks outside was ridiculous, I'm with you on that, OP. Watching my work disappear (freelance contractor) was so stressful. Knowing now, thanks to hindsight and Matt Hancock's WA messages, that the Govt was deploying fear tactics to keep us in check still infuriates me now.

Experiencing two dear family friends die of Covid and watching my best friend mourn her mum who died in a care home alone puts all of the above into perspective.

You made a lot of decisions that negatively impacted you and your family. Those are your own choices and choices have consequences. The reality is you can have opposing opinions and still make choices that are for the better of your kids and self. I have to abide by many rules in life and society that I don't personally support but I choose to compromise and abide by them to avoid the consequences and to avoid distressing those around me. You didn't need to be so rebellious and to make your views known so publically given the impact on your kids.

In hindsight, did they get everything right about COVID, of course not. But at various times with all the unpredictable factors decisions were made by imperfect humans who had the power, pressure, and responsibility to make decisions. We live in a society and decisions were made for the good of society based on knowledge at the time. Everyone was under a lot of stress. People had sick and dying family members they couldn't visit or were deperately trying to protect, the health and education systems were under incredible strain, jobs and the economy were destabilized, anxiety peaked, homes and families had to deal with additional challenges. Regardless of your personal views, it was a really hard time for pretty much everyone for the first year or so until vaccines brought some feeling of control, action, and protection.

You can think a rule is stupid but decide to abide by it for the wellbeing of your children and to avoid additional distress. You chose differently and are experiencing consequences for your choices. Tis life.