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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so sick and anxious about this situation

52 replies

Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 18:32

Buying house from LL (currently renting) has been ongoing for a year, mortgage offer expired at the beginning of the week and can not extend (already extended once) don't have affordability for a new mortgage due to interest rates and TBF I've had enough of the process and have found somewhere else we can afford so pulled put today.

LL has emailed me to ask why we pulled out, I explained and now he says he has to pull out of his purchase and he will try everything to ensure the sale goes throuGh. I feel so anxious and worried now, I feel awful for him and awkward that we are in his home and have let him down.

AIBU to feel like this??

OP posts:
Minfilia · 23/03/2023 18:34

I suppose it all really depends on why it’s taken a year?

PennyForearm · 23/03/2023 18:34

Why has it taken so long?

Harping0n · 23/03/2023 18:35

You sound like a very kind person.
But this is a business transaction. You haven’t let him down.
A year is far too long for a sale to take. If the landlord had really wanted to sell to you then he would have pushed to complete the sale.

Clarinet1 · 23/03/2023 18:36

You don’t say exactly what has caused the delays but I don’t think you should feel bad. If it was taking to long you have a right to change your mind and it sounds as though the LL had more than enough time to get his act together if he wanted the sale.

PinkFrogss · 23/03/2023 18:36

Could you afford a lower mortgage at the higher rate? See if LL will lower the price to the decreased amount you’re now able to borrow

Mamamia7962 · 23/03/2023 18:37

Do you mean you have found a another house to rent? You have to think of yourself OP and what is the best option for you. The landlord will find another buyer.

Original poster
Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 18:37

He didn't have the correct paper work when he purchased so it has taken this long to sort. He has said he is so close to completion and should be sorted in a few days , but there is nothing we can do. I feel really awkward now being in the house.

OP posts:
Original poster
Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 18:38

Mamamia7962 · 23/03/2023 18:37

Do you mean you have found a another house to rent? You have to think of yourself OP and what is the best option for you. The landlord will find another buyer.

A cheaper house to buy that we can afford.

OP posts:
Plusnett · 23/03/2023 18:38

YANBU, you need to cut your losses. A house purchase isn’t something you can half-arse and dilly dally with. Your landlord should be more than aware that buyers will pull out if the sale takes over a year.

The only way I would consider proceeding with the sale is if they reimbursed any extra fees you incurred. The truth is, the rent you e paid for the last year could have literally gone towards your mortgage for the same house and you’ve just been lining his pockets

Mamamia7962 · 23/03/2023 18:39

Go for the cheaper house.

Plusnett · 23/03/2023 18:39

Also make it clear that the mortgage company has cancelled their offer due to the delay. It’s not something you can get them to reconsider based on his “promises”

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 23/03/2023 18:40

Look after No. 1

PennyForearm · 23/03/2023 18:41

How convenient that the very day you've pulled out he's suddenly a few days from completion.

He's been having you off for a year, you should have owned that house at least 6 months ago, he's had plenty of extra rent off you. Don't feel a shred of sympathy for him.

RandomMess · 23/03/2023 18:44

The fact is that you can no longer afford it so you don't have a choice 🤷🏽‍♀️

WhyDoesItAlways · 23/03/2023 18:45

Have you explained to him the issue with the mortgage so that he is aware that it is impossible for you to buy the house at the agreed price, not that you have changed your mind or are trying to screw him for a lower price. That way it's up to him if he would like to reduce the price so you can afford to buy or he can spend time finding another buyer/ potentially lose rent if the house has to sit empty while he sells.

I wouldn't give him too long to decide if you already have a backup house though.

NoSquirrels · 23/03/2023 18:47

If he dropped his price, would you stay and complete the sale?

Original poster
Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 18:49

Even of he reduced the process, we are still put of affordability. Our mortgage offer was at 1.5% so it's a significant difference. I've fully explained to him why we have to pull out and that we don't have an option and he replied saying its messed it all up as he now has to pull out of his purchase and this will make him homeless. Should I continue emailing or should any further correspondence be done through the estate agents we use?

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 23/03/2023 18:57

But if you’re buying somewhere cheaper, what interest rate are you being offered on that mortgage deal?

It’s fine if it’s not possible - you’re not obliged, and he can find another buyer. But if there was a way to salvage the chain, would you take it? i.e. would you stay & buy the house you live in if you could?

NoSquirrels · 23/03/2023 18:58

I’m not sure why he’ll be homeless - he must be living somewhere currently, so presumably he can stay there!

Plusnett · 23/03/2023 19:00

this will make him homeless.

what a joke, he literally owns other property such as the house you’re living in, paying rent for, and are due to move out of. He can live off the rental income until the property is vacant!

jackstini · 23/03/2023 19:00

Go through the agents

It's not your fault he took so long to sort it out and your mortgage ran out
(& I say that as a landlord!)

He can live in the house you're in now once you move...

Original poster
Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 19:03

I think it was unexpected for him and he has just panicked.

OP posts:
Changingplace · 23/03/2023 19:05

Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 18:49

Even of he reduced the process, we are still put of affordability. Our mortgage offer was at 1.5% so it's a significant difference. I've fully explained to him why we have to pull out and that we don't have an option and he replied saying its messed it all up as he now has to pull out of his purchase and this will make him homeless. Should I continue emailing or should any further correspondence be done through the estate agents we use?

Not your issue it’s taken this long, it’s not in his gift to decide it’s only a few more days - utterly irrelevant as your mortgage offer has expired, there’s absolutely nothing he can do about that.

It shouldn’t have taken so long, he’s the one who’s cost you money and you both the sale, he’s the one who’s buggered this up not you.

Go through the estate agent from now on, hope your new house goes through as quickly as possible.

Plusnett · 23/03/2023 19:06

Sorry but this is a business transaction and it was his responsibility to consider the implications of set backs. How on earth was it unexpected that you pull out when the sale has been delayed?

BeckyBeehive · 23/03/2023 19:08

Your mortgage offer has expired. YOU should be annoyed with HIM, not him with you. He's messed you around for a year!

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