Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so sick and anxious about this situation

52 replies

Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 18:32

Buying house from LL (currently renting) has been ongoing for a year, mortgage offer expired at the beginning of the week and can not extend (already extended once) don't have affordability for a new mortgage due to interest rates and TBF I've had enough of the process and have found somewhere else we can afford so pulled put today.

LL has emailed me to ask why we pulled out, I explained and now he says he has to pull out of his purchase and he will try everything to ensure the sale goes throuGh. I feel so anxious and worried now, I feel awful for him and awkward that we are in his home and have let him down.

AIBU to feel like this??

OP posts:
Fordian · 23/03/2023 19:08

Feel not a shred of guilt. I am in a position to buy probably more than one BTL. I haven't because I think it's immoral, 'ave-a-go' LL. it was all a bed of roses for them, including tax breaks to effectively snap up first time buyer homes then rent them to that foiled first time buyer at sums 25-100% higher than the mortgage.

It's begun to unravel on these amateur LLs. Shed not a tear. He can move into this now vacated house.

The entitlement of such people is eye watering. Hope it all works out for you.

JudgeRudy · 23/03/2023 19:10

First of all this isn't on you. He's had a year to sell. You agreed a price and got a mortgage so I'm assuming the delay was his end.
Secondly.....all things fair in love and war..and home buying. Its like school places, you fight for your own.
I hope you get a resolution

Doingmybest12 · 23/03/2023 19:21

I am a people pleaser and even I know that this is one of the occasions when you gave to let your head rule your heart , it is a business deal and you have to do what is right for you. He'll find another buyer, not your responsibility .

Nevermind31 · 23/03/2023 19:24

Well, he could reduce the price so it is in your affordability range

Monstermunchmum · 23/03/2023 19:25

pull Out . You do not owe this person anything and they have kept you dangling for a year whilst they sorted their own stuff out - all the while you paid the rent! No, pull out.

Plusnett · 23/03/2023 19:30

Also how long will it be until you move out? As you’ve mentioned having to awkwardly deal with him whilst you still live there

Original poster
Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 19:33

Plusnett · 23/03/2023 19:30

Also how long will it be until you move out? As you’ve mentioned having to awkwardly deal with him whilst you still live there

No idea, I have a feeling we may get out 2 weeks notice next week. We can move into my dad's if needs be and place some furniture in storage, not ideal as an hour away from work but would be able to do it for a few months if needed.

OP posts:
Letterasaurus · 23/03/2023 19:36

Buying or selling a house is a financial transaction and until you exchange contracts you're not committed. There's no room for sentiment - look after your own financial interests. Your landlord has had a year's rent while you could have been paying a mortgage instead!

Original poster
Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 19:38

We've already lost money on conveyencer and house survey, when we struggled to get a 5% deposite together, it's really not ideal and I know I should be mad at him, but I just feel really anxious. I think it's because he contacted me directly and I hate any confrontation

OP posts:
JenniferBarkley · 23/03/2023 19:43

I voted YABU as you shouldn't be feeling bad for him, you should be furious that his lack of organisation has put you in this position (spoken as a former accidental landlord who recently sold the property).

Plusnett · 23/03/2023 19:45

Do you have a solicitor for the house purchase? Tell him to email them. And if it’s about the rental contract then definitely go through the agent.

NoSquirrels · 23/03/2023 19:47

Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 19:33

No idea, I have a feeling we may get out 2 weeks notice next week. We can move into my dad's if needs be and place some furniture in storage, not ideal as an hour away from work but would be able to do it for a few months if needed.

Show quote history

I hope that was a typo. It shouldn’t be two weeks notice…

Original poster
Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 19:48

NoSquirrels · 23/03/2023 19:47

I hope that was a typo. It shouldn’t be two weeks notice…

Show quote history

Yeah, sorry, two months notice.

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 23/03/2023 20:22

If he wants you to buy it that badly he'll need to drop the price to what you can afford.

KittyAlfred · 23/03/2023 20:36

No one waits a year for a house sale to go through OP. Assuming you’d done your part, then he was really pushing his luck by making you wait so long. Many people would have bailed out months ago.

OhcantthInkofaname · 23/03/2023 20:37

Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 18:37

He didn't have the correct paper work when he purchased so it has taken this long to sort. He has said he is so close to completion and should be sorted in a few days , but there is nothing we can do. I feel really awkward now being in the house.

I don't understand. Was he trying to sell you a house he did not have ownership of ?

Original poster
Goingforplatinum · 23/03/2023 20:38

OhcantthInkofaname · 23/03/2023 20:37

I don't understand. Was he trying to sell you a house he did not have ownership of ?

Show quote history

Didn't have ownership of the land. The more I think about it, and the more comments I get on here, I'm thinking we would be fools to buy.

OP posts:
ZombiePara · 23/03/2023 20:41

Haven't read the full thread, but have read all of OP's comments..

@Goingforplatinum - don't let him tell you he will be homeless - complete crock of BS. He can move into the place you're renting from him! That's his, and it's a roof over his head.

I would steer clear and go for your second option you found!

Greenfairydust · 24/03/2023 07:34

I would not have waited a year for this.

The owner is at fault here and should not have tried to sell the house without first resolving the paperwork issue.

If you have found an alternative house then go for it. You have been more than patient.

He already wasted your time and cost you your mortgage.

The reality anyway is that you can no longer afford the house so there is no reason to continue dragging this on.

Original poster
Goingforplatinum · 24/03/2023 07:54

I didn't sleep at all last night worrying. I know I'm not in the wrong but I just can't help it. I'm not sure of his situation, I know he bought the house we are in around 5 years ago, lived here for 6 months before moving in with partner. He sent me a letter Feb of last year saying he wanted to sell and wanted a quick sale. We had no deposite so sold cars, other items and had money from family to scrape a 5% deposite together and managed to get an amazing mortgage offer as rates where in the 1 percents at the time. All our paper work sorted within the folirst month, then out conveyence informed us he didn't actually own all the land out the front and back and this was essentially lease hold, hence the delay. Extended mortgage offer 6 months ago and it ended on Tuesday of this week. Mortgage offer will now be almost double what it was before. We have found a shared ownership that's affordable to us, and cheaper then renting again. Pulled out of original house yesterday. Received an email asking why we pulled out, and then that I have left the LL in a very difficult position and potentially homeless. I've apologised and explained I will accommodate him putting the house on the market, allowing viewings and make the house as viewing friendly as I possibly can, he has come back to say he doesn't know what he will now do, and will speak to his conveyencer today to see if the situation can be saved. TBH after a year of this stress I just want to move on now and cur my losses. I really feel confronted with the direct emails and they make me feel like I'm being guilt tripped. Will call EA today that we rent the property through and ask if any correspondence can go through them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Goingforplatinum · 24/03/2023 08:16

I think what upsets ne the most is of we had of known it would take this long we would of pulled out a long time ago, and bought somewhere else. We would be in out own home by now with a nice affordable mortgage and my little happy family. Now we can't afford to either buy outright or rent.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 24/03/2023 08:34

Surely the landlord won't be homeless. He can move into your house when you move out?

Toddlerteaplease · 24/03/2023 08:34

Definitely cut your looses and get out.

Changingplace · 24/03/2023 09:19

Goingforplatinum · 24/03/2023 08:16

I think what upsets ne the most is of we had of known it would take this long we would of pulled out a long time ago, and bought somewhere else. We would be in out own home by now with a nice affordable mortgage and my little happy family. Now we can't afford to either buy outright or rent.

And keep remembering that, this is all the fault of your landlord not sorting out the sale so don’t let them try and guilt trip you - it’s their fault and you owe them nothing.

BrimFullOfAsher · 24/03/2023 15:17

Please don't be guilt tripped and made to feel guilty by this guys emotional blackmail.

How can he possibly be 'homeless' when he owns the house you currently live in? And he seemed to have no qualms in selling you said property without all of the proper information. Did you even find out what the leasehold situation is with it?