To think it's a man's world esp dating

[thetings]

Christ ... I can't get over this ..

I'm new to online dating . I'm 50 and have barely enough time to scratch myself .

The men I see online however are racing after themselves with all of these hobbies and pastimes. Why they even think they have time for dating is beyond me ...

If I was to date , it would be to calm down , rest and enjoy the finer things in life , as a single parent .

The norm is that they run daily, keep fit, cycle/ lift weights/ sail / horse ride ... delete as appropriate ..

Now many are unhappily married, looking for fun but they're not my choice but the others ...

Plenty of kids, full time job but also with kids ...

We really have sold ourselves short .

AIBU to think this ?

Must be just me so ..

Yes a new angle on what is often bemoaned by women on here. Men always seem to get time to pursue their hobbies even if it means being hours out of the house on weekends. Women not so much. But how that happens exactly I'm not sure. Behaviour has to be tolerated.

A lot of men are Incels and dateless which is why they have the time.

I guess my own marriage ended because my husband liked the status of being married with kids but forgot that that staid came with commitment to that family.
In retrospect , I worked full time as main earner , travelled 600km per week for that work , got the kids up and sorted , collected and sorted them again and he walked In the door when all was done eg homework, dinner, domestic .
When he did bedtime , it was him on his phone watching videoes .. no connection but yet wanted the intimacy of that couple we were pre kids !
Weekends were filled with ' important jobs ' he needed doing eg getting petrol for the lawn mower ... three hours later , but never done , barbers ... another three hours ...
Always had a headache and had to be in bed unless there was a social occasion when he was suddenly healed .. Lazarus ... and the life and soul .
A useless fail of a husband and father but as they say ... hindsight is 20/20!

Looks like on line dating is full of the hangover of these men whose exes were ' psychos' and ' nags ' ....
Fuck me !!!!

I'm a bit younger than you and all my "options" have very young kids, yet seemingly a packed life full of hobbies... I can't help but think that attitude is why they're single in the first place.

I'm also gonna throw a spanner in the works and say the opposite type are worse. The ones that have no lives at all and expect a woman to fill it. Once you've had a few dates they want to spend every single spare minute with you. It's not even love bombing, I'm just left feeling like I'm being used to fill the woman shaped hole in their life, but I could be any woman

Interesting !
The men I've matched with genuinely are full on hobbies and past times and hobbies . I get the lunches, walks, dinners and odd overnights but...
Now this suits me but my god , as much as I adore my kids ,I'd give anything for 10% of their time ...

so you expect single men to be sitting in the house twiddling their thumbs because youth not comfortable with hem enjoying things? Very weird and insecure

This reminds me of a tweet I read that said: You could say you like pancakes but rarely eat them for breakfast because you don't have much time in the mornings and someone will reply asking you why you think pancake-eaters are lazy unemployed gluttons with nothing to do in the mornings.

Men have it right here. A well rounded adult should have hobbies and outside interests all of their life.

You can’t judge accurately based on internet dating profiles. These men don’t really have lots of wonderful hobbies. They just put on their profiles that they do because they think that’s what women want to hear.