Colleagues keep calling me 'lovely'

[lovelylovelyy]

I want to preface this by saying that I'm autistic, so I tend to overthink these kinds of things and I'm always looking for hidden motives or that I'm being teased.

I am very quiet at work, and keep to myself a lot. As a result, I don't think I make much of an impact on my colleagues and don't feel like I'm a very likeable person. I think I come across as boring.

A lot of different colleagues have described me as lovely seemingly out of the blue (all female colleagues around my age which is mid 20s). For example, one of them calls me 'Lovely [my name' whenever they address me. Then I'm moving projects and one of my colleagues said they're sad I'm moving as I'm so lovely.

Is it possible that I have given a good impression and I am liked at work or is it just a non-descript word to use for someone who has no personality and no other redeeming qualities?

Saying youre lovely and will be missed would normally be taken as a compliment. If multiple people are doing this then it's undoubtedly true. Lovely to me would imply you're easy to be around and don't gossip, bitch, moan or lie. Getting on with people is a trait employers admire.
Worth knowing that some people enjoy given people nic names and some love a bit of alliteration so if you're called say Lisa or Lauren they'll like to call you Lovely Lauren. Maybe there's a Sassy Sara or a Happy Harry. There's usually truth in a nic name so Lovely X sounds good to me. How do you feel about your work mates? Do you like them too?

I live in Ireland and my English colleagues call (people they’re particularly happy with) ‘lovely’ and I find it so warm and friendly and, well, lovely!!! Yes op, Id say they find you great x they’ll miss you x

If that's you Jon I really do think your lovely :)

Quiet colleagues.

These are indeed lovely. Not everyone wants to be with gobshites. I’ve yet to meet a boring ‘quiet’ person. Quiet people are soothing to the soul. And usually very observant, so can be very wry.

I only call my favourite people lovely, it’s a compliment

@JarByTheDoor, you pretty much described my childhood and adolescence in your post. I am so sorry you experienced this kind of bullying. It is all too common an experience for those of us who are different from the ‘neurotypical’. I would like to say that this bullying stops in adulthood, but not always!

@lovelylovelyy - hopefully your colleagues are being nice and, of course, you are a lovely person. Please don’t doubt yourself.

However, as this behaviour is clearly bothering you, I have a couple of suggestions.

Firstly, listen to how these same people interact with others in the office. Do they say similar things to each other? If so, please don’t give it another thought - they are just being friendly.

Secondly, if having observed their interactions with others and having decided that it is just you that is addressed in this way, would it be possible to quietly have a chat with a line manager or other colleague to see if he/she could have a word with those who are doing it with a view to asking them to stop. It’s not unreasonable for you to be addressed in a way that makes you feel comfortable.

Finally, try to work on your resilience, (which is easier for me to type than put into practice myself!) You are a worthwhile person, with wonderful qualities. Hopefully, so are your colleagues. Please try not to worry about what they think as they are not in charge of your self-worth x

I would say being described as lovely is a good thing.

Another vote for you actually being lovely here from a fellow autistic. It took years of work colleagues valuing me and quite a bit of therapy before I began to believe them. As PPs have said, the legacy of bullying and feeling the odd one out is hard to shake off. I hope and suspect that the longer you go through the workplace the more you’ll find your qualities are appreciated. Quiet doesn’t equate to boring at all.

Your response is tone deaf. The OP explains that they have autism.

Probably best to learn to read before you’re rude to people.