Small theft by carer

[BlackFlyChardonnay]

Wondering what you would do in this situation.

My nan lives alone but has a carer pop in to help with meal times and washing and dressing three times a day. We (myself and 2 other relatives) have put cameras in her home to keep an eye on her. She has fallen a few times so also has an alarm necklace. The cameras are a back up because she is so unbelievably stubborn that she rarely wears the alarm necklace. Last time she fell and wasn't wearing it and ended up laying on her kitchen floor for 4 hours. The cameras are an easy way to check she's got in and out of bed ok etc.

So, to be clear, she knows about the cameras and so do the carers.

The main carer is a registered nurse who is now self employed as a carer. I personally haven't warmed to her for a few reasons (she never stays the full hour that she's paid for, she has slagged off her other patients to me and to my nan which I think is unprofessional, and slagged off the other carers to us over minor things).

Anyway. My nan absolutely loves this carer and thinks she's amazing so that is the main thing.

Nan says to me today "you'll never guess what nurse did! That horrible old man she looks after was being such a nuisance yesterday that when she bought his shopping, she got a bottle of wine for herself" nan was saying this like it is brilliant by the way. I said "but that's stealing" and she said "she deserves it. He shouldn't be so demanding".

Nan sometimes mixes stuff up so I then looked back at the cameras and saw the actual conversation.

Nan was correct. This "demanding" patient of hers, who has dementia by the way so is allowed to be demanding imo, had asked her to go shopping so she put a £6 bottle of wine in the trolley for herself and used his bank card to pay. Apparently the niece checks all receipts but as her uncle regularly drinks wine and he can't reliably say how many bottles he's received, the niece will never know! Carer laughing away to nan about how it serves him right etc.

I know it's only £6 but it makes me feel ill. No matter how "demanding" he is, she has stolen. You know what - my nan can be demanding, should she be stolen from too? I asked nan this and she just repeats "well he's demanding she deserves a treat" etc.

What, if anything, would you do about this? Nan really likes this carer, and has hated at least 2 previous ones. I haven't told my relatives yet. I don't know if I'm overreacting but it makes me think we shouldn't trust her at all.

Thoughts?

Yes I raised that but skirted over 🤷‍♀️

I’d report it

Yes I’d report her to the Police and the likes of the SSSC or equivalent as a previous poster said. This is an absolute abuse of trust and her position in stealing and also discussing other clients. If she can do it to this poor man she can do it to others. Disgrace of a person who gives other genuine trustworthy carers a bad name.

Exactly what thehappyhaggis has said

I'm a carer and this really shocked me. I think it pays to use an agency as we have good frameworks in place in regards to buying shopping for customers. I have to fill out a financial transaction form and number the receipt and that's then left in a folder for the family. I'm the other way around and have had to bring food from home as my wealthy elderly customer never seems to have enough food. I can't bear not being able to make them a cup of tea. We can only use cash and there's never any! So it's easier to bring a few bits with me.

Maybe she’s not a registered nurse, maybe she’s already struck off, maybe she hasn’t kept her registration up/validated, if she’s a thief maybe she’s also a liar!