Inappropriate contact from British Gas engineer?!!

[PandaEyed13]

Bit of a weird one!

Has anyone had a gas/electric engineer respond to a call out at their property - and then had the engineer call and text their personal mobile number weeks after the work?!

Had a problem with my gas meter at my house last month and British Gas sent multiple engineers on varying dates to try and fix the issue, 4 engineers in total on 4 separate dates over the past few weeks, the issue got fixed and resolved last week, job done, lovely stuff!

Over this past weekend though I had 2 missed calls from a mobile phone number I didn't recognise. I didn't answer because it's just my personal philosophy not to answer to unfamiliar numbers, I assumed they were cold calls and forgot about it.

Yesterday morning though, I got 2 more calls from this number. Then a text - "Hi there B, (not my real name) it's 'Dan' (not his real name) from British Gas, call me back..'

Erm...that's weird right?
So when I cast my mind back, 'Dan' was engineer number 2 from visit number 2 about 3 weeks ago!

I can remember him being very friendly, really helpful - to the point of being almost above and beyond. He didn't cross any boundaries on the day. He was a teeny tiny bit vibey, like the absolute smidgen of a flirt, but not in a way that made me uncomfortable, he was just treating me a bit 'damsel in distressy,' which I didnt think much of at the time, I just wanted the work done! He even offered to call my DH for me at his work and explain what work he was doing at the house so I didn't have to bother trying to suss out the jargon to relay back to him. I said no thanks, but me being married became known information!

Fast forward 3 weeks and he's called my personal mobile number from his 4 times and sent a text asking me to call him. This is weird, yes? Boundary crossing? Call-out engineers never do follow up calls right? None of the other 3 engineers who came to my house have contacted me! I called my mum right after and DH on his work break and both freaked out, like "what if he's a nutter, he knows where you live!" etc etc.

My mum advised to reply to his text saying "no thanks, I won't be calling as the work has been completed at our property now, but thanks for your help on the day" and then to block his number if he replies to that or calls again. So I sent that text this morning and no reply as of yet. DH wants his number to call him though and ask what the F he wants! I spoke to British Gas this morning and they said it's not commonplace for call-out engineers to make contact with residents of properties they have attended or to make follow up calls and do I want to start an investigation. I said I didn't know because I haven't heard anything else since I sent my "thanks but no thanks" message a few hours ago, so they said call back if I get anything else.

I don't want to get anyone in trouble if it's all innocent, or antagonise anyone if it's not!

And DH is chomping at the bit for me to pass his number on so he can ring him, which I'm also reluctant to do?

Ideas, opinions? Anyone else had the 'friendly engineer' hit them up? I tried to Google whether engineers do this and there's absolutely nothing, so I'm thinking - no, they don't! Even if he is just following up on the day, it's still inappropriate and boundary crossing right? How he got my mobile num, I don't even know, he's a call-out engineer not a call centre agent with account access!

Didn't know where else to post this so went with AIBU, although I don't think I am to be freaked out!

Just say no.
Thanks Zammo.

What an overreaction, hes probably left a spanner behind your boiler and wondering if its there.

He was more than totally out of order. Men that act like that need to be called up on it. And if they get in trouble because of their actions, that’s rightfully so.

Your reaction to it is puzzling though.

I would expect someone that is not a “Damsel in distress” to get mighty pissed off and deal with the situation herself?

If you would be happy with strangers texting you then why don't you walk around with your number on your hat? Or you could print it on flyers. Anyone who likes the look of you could text you.

If you didn't like them you could 'just say no'.

I just want to say thank you for sharing this with me. I'm sorry this happened to you. It means a lot that you can share it with people. I was stalked 12 years ago by an ex colleague, I was 18 too. He was fired from the little wine shop we worked in for stealing cash and stock, and once he was out the shop and gone, he began showing up outside the shop and sitting outside all night in his car. He rang me on shift and would hang up, 50 times a shift, he rang my mobile at home - he must have took it from the work diary. He'd wait for my whole shift and follow me home. I walked and he drove, so he'd slow roll his car behind me ALLLL the way home. He'd never shown an interest in me particularly while he worked there but once he was let go, he became obsessed. I called the police and they said because he hadn't been violent or made a threat of violence, at the moment all I could do was make a log! They suggest I call 999 next time he showed up outside my work or house, but there response time was hours.
Then after about 3 months of it, I was walking home with my girlfriend from a breast cancer charity ball one of the regular customers of the wine shop had organised, and he jumped us! He didn't wait til I was on my own, he jumped us near a petrol station near my parents house and dragged me down a wooded dirt path that ran down the side of train tracks, he pushed me up against the fence along this track, and assaulted me. I was wearing like a bandeau mini dress so it had no sleeves or straps and he was just mindlessly, frantic trying to get hands down the top part of my dress or up the skirt part, all with us both screaming, my friend whacking him over and over, I'd get him out of the top part of my dress in a split second he'd be hands up the other end. It came to an end really abruptly, he just suddenly stopped, punched my friend in the face and took off.
So then the police had him. But from then we found out his name wasn't his real name, his address wasn't his real address, everything on his C.V when my manager hired him was falsified, he had multiple previous convictions, he was on the sex offenders register, all sorts. He got 3 years for the actual bodily harm of the punch he threw at my girlfriend, but nothing for what he did to me. I also remember the police officer who took our statement advising me to think twice before I wore that sort of dress next time I went out.
I didn't go out on another night out for 7 years after that.
And possibly I am extra cautious today because of that, but I don't walk around with "victim goggles" on seeing predators everywhere I look! I know that my previous experience wasn't my fault, and this shituation with this BG engineer isn't either, and I'm not looking at this situation with this guy through a "victims previous trauma lens!"
I didn't see the need in mentioning any of this in my previous posts because it gives the cruel hags something to latch onto. "See - your sensitive! Poor engineer bloke!"
I shared it though because you shared yours and I really appreciate that. You wouldn't believe how many people back then asked if I led that man on or enjoyed the attention and I can see that 12 years later, people haven't changed that much!
Thanks for your post ❤

1. why didn't mention that when the OP's husband rang him back?

2. why didn't he contact her through British Gas rather than his own phone, risking his job in the process?

3. why didn't he say he left his spanner instead of ringing her and texting her multiple times without mentioning the spanner?

4. as the job was not finished after he had been, why didn't he ask the next person attending to get his spanner?

Quite! apparently, we are supposed to live in a world where we aren't allowed to ask our nearest and dearest for their support 🙄

It seems as if the "Big Bad Man" didn't take any notice of the "Big Bad Husband" as he still rang up afterwards.

@@PandaEyed13If he calls again and I hope he doesn't, could you BBH answer the phone on your behalf, or have you blocked?

What the hell have I just read?

Everything on this thread is utterly insane. Everything.

No he shouldn't be calling or retaining numbers unless authorised by and for work. It's obvious.

Such a huge deal about missed calls. As other have said it would have been better to call him or text him back, find out exactly why he was calling and then report him with clear evidence.

& everyone being so rude to OP unnecessarily as well.

Whacky

I don’t usually bother with unknown numbers , but would of answered the 2nd time . Seems a lot of drama created when you don’t know what he wanted .
Of course had you spoken to him and he wanted something not job related, unprofessional then of course take action . Just would of taken your mums advice to begin . I’ve spoken to plenary of companies after having work completed about various things male and female . Point is to first find out what they wanted . You and husband both getting annoyed and you have no idea what he wanted .

The thing that bothers me most about this is that BG say they have no record of him being at your house. The second most bothersome bit is him hanging up on your husband.

I probably wouldn't have reacted in the way you did, but that doesn't make you wrong, crazy or a drama llama. It felt 'off' - and if I've learned anything as I've got older it's to trust your gut.

If it was innocuous he could put his reason for contact in the text eg I am trying to locate a misplaced item/ I want to check that the issue has been resolved. As others have said: a breach of GDPR and not standard practice so very dodgy: trust your instincts OP!

I'm wondering whether he was actually from British Gas at all. Surely they would have a record of who was at your house that day. Even if he didn't record the visit they would be able to see who was allocated the job that day. All sounds very strange.

What a drama about nothing. He's probably ringing to ask a question pertinent to the job. Just ring him back?

Oh, you again, with your standard apologia for predatory men.

You seem to imagine that OP ought to be flattered by being harassed by a sex pest.

Bloody hell just ask him what he wants! One engineer left a screwdriver at our house. I put it away as I thought it was DH's. I don't think the engineer knew which house he'd left it at and just called in the offchance. Anyway, just text and ask him or you -- and we - will never know!

RTFT. OP's DH called him and he hung up.

OP states she sent him a text, and he also hung up on her DH calling him back.

Why would she call him back if she felt uncomfortable? If he has an innocent motive why wouldn’t he just write what he wanted to tell her in a text? How hard is it to write “ hiya I think I might have left a tool at your house”. It’s not embarrassing at all, she has a right to be concerned considering this man knows where she lives! These companies have procedures in place, he is out of line to contact the COMPANIES customer. It’s not his personal customer to contact, if it was his business it would be different. By the looks of this ladies further comments she was absolutely right to be suspicious and creeped out. I certainly would be! We rely on our instincts and I say we’ll done to this lady!

I can't believe the amount of people reckoning he's left a tool
I would say it's deffo dodgy and he's after the op.
I get why you are anxious, I hate phone calls deffo a trigger for my anxiety.
I reckon him offering to phone and "explain" to husband was deffo a way of finding out you have another half
I'm glad your fella phoned that should hopefully be the end of that

@PandaEyed13 just read your response to @Tropicaliyes , I am so sorry for what happened to both of you, thank you for sharing, I hope you both got support at some point.
Even more reason totrust your gut as you well aware that not everyone is the nice innocent men that other posters seem to think 💐

Good plan. 🙄 If only the OP was as clever as you. Her husband could have asked when he called the man or the OP could have asked when she rang British Gas.

Wow, quite the drama lama. Why didn't you just call him back? If there is no record of him attending a job maybe he was ringing because he forgot to get you to sign for the job and couldn't get paid until you did? Pretty sure they are all self employed.

Almost hope he was a sex pest as opposed to some bloke, doing his job, who will now be hauled over the coals because you have a VERY active imagination and way to much time on your hands.

Any sensible person would have just rung the guy back to find out what he wanted.

If it was innocuous, then fine, that's it dealt with.

If not, report to BG.

Honestly don't understand how some people manage on a day to day basis making huge unnecessary dramas when they don't need to.

OP please do not explain yourself to the absolute cock merchants who say you are being a drama queen.
Too many women have been hurt and killed because they think “am I being dramatic” in potentially dangerous situations. You did the right thing by calling his employers.
If anyone is reading this reply and disagreeing, then my friend you are the cock merchant I refer to and I will delight in ignoring your response because it honestly doesn’t mean a thing when it comes to safety so you can respectfully pop the f&ck off

@PandaEyed13 thats incredulous to hear and to be honest it really annoys me when the police take the approach of waiting until something happens to actually do something! This is how people end up in really serious predicaments or dead, at which point they want to say they should have and could have responded a lot quicker/earlier!

im really glad you came out of it okay and feel really bad about your girlfriend but it’s nice to know they had your back and lucky they were with you at the time as this guy was a persistent predator I don’t even think 3 years is enough considering his prior convictions and falsified information!

As much as the police have responded to me when I have made reports of these things and it’s happened more than once (and no I would never be seen dead in a skirt or dress not that your dress wear should mean people can’t control themselves) but besides them taking statements, it doesn’t go any further and I’m never sure if what they say they would do, actually gets done.. you just have to trust their word which in this day and age with all the recent police misconducts is a bit hard to believe!

I have come to realise mumsnet is full of people just waiting for an excuse to be horrible, made crude comments or outright blame the OP for anything if given the chance! I really have to reconsider sending my posts after I have written them as I know it can be something so simple but there will always be a load of people coming to berate you.

I don’t think I would have handled your situation any different except messaging back what it was he wanted. No way would I call a stranger back like you said, or even entertain his barrage of calls! Sometimes you just want a second opinion on a situation you think wasn’t right but others might think is fine hence even posting in the first place but some nasty people will always be along to bring you down! You can never be too careful and like you said he has your name, number and address! So it’s more problematic than just letting it be!