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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inappropriate contact from British Gas engineer?!!

426 replies

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 11:31

Bit of a weird one!

Has anyone had a gas/electric engineer respond to a call out at their property - and then had the engineer call and text their personal mobile number weeks after the work?!

Had a problem with my gas meter at my house last month and British Gas sent multiple engineers on varying dates to try and fix the issue, 4 engineers in total on 4 separate dates over the past few weeks, the issue got fixed and resolved last week, job done, lovely stuff!

Over this past weekend though I had 2 missed calls from a mobile phone number I didn't recognise. I didn't answer because it's just my personal philosophy not to answer to unfamiliar numbers, I assumed they were cold calls and forgot about it.

Yesterday morning though, I got 2 more calls from this number. Then a text - "Hi there B, (not my real name) it's 'Dan' (not his real name) from British Gas, call me back..'

Erm...that's weird right?
So when I cast my mind back, 'Dan' was engineer number 2 from visit number 2 about 3 weeks ago!

I can remember him being very friendly, really helpful - to the point of being almost above and beyond. He didn't cross any boundaries on the day. He was a teeny tiny bit vibey, like the absolute smidgen of a flirt, but not in a way that made me uncomfortable, he was just treating me a bit 'damsel in distressy,' which I didnt think much of at the time, I just wanted the work done! He even offered to call my DH for me at his work and explain what work he was doing at the house so I didn't have to bother trying to suss out the jargon to relay back to him. I said no thanks, but me being married became known information!

Fast forward 3 weeks and he's called my personal mobile number from his 4 times and sent a text asking me to call him. This is weird, yes? Boundary crossing? Call-out engineers never do follow up calls right? None of the other 3 engineers who came to my house have contacted me! I called my mum right after and DH on his work break and both freaked out, like "what if he's a nutter, he knows where you live!" etc etc.

My mum advised to reply to his text saying "no thanks, I won't be calling as the work has been completed at our property now, but thanks for your help on the day" and then to block his number if he replies to that or calls again. So I sent that text this morning and no reply as of yet. DH wants his number to call him though and ask what the F he wants! I spoke to British Gas this morning and they said it's not commonplace for call-out engineers to make contact with residents of properties they have attended or to make follow up calls and do I want to start an investigation. I said I didn't know because I haven't heard anything else since I sent my "thanks but no thanks" message a few hours ago, so they said call back if I get anything else.

I don't want to get anyone in trouble if it's all innocent, or antagonise anyone if it's not!

And DH is chomping at the bit for me to pass his number on so he can ring him, which I'm also reluctant to do?

Ideas, opinions? Anyone else had the 'friendly engineer' hit them up? I tried to Google whether engineers do this and there's absolutely nothing, so I'm thinking - no, they don't! Even if he is just following up on the day, it's still inappropriate and boundary crossing right? How he got my mobile num, I don't even know, he's a call-out engineer not a call centre agent with account access!

Didn't know where else to post this so went with AIBU, although I don't think I am to be freaked out!

OP posts:
Coffeellama · 21/03/2023 19:06

OP you did the right thing and I’m glad you got a good outcome and hopefully that’s the end of it. Whilst you were right, you still have been totally dramatic about it on here with your long ‘powerful’ posts calling this place a cesspit and the women on here hags for disagreeing with your point and suggesting other reasons for him calling other than him being a crazy person.

YOU said in your OP ‘has anyone else had their friendly engineer hit them up’ and you wondered why anyone assumes you think he fancies you. If you hate mumsnet and everyone on it so much why not step back and stop winding yourself up about it now, seen as you don’t like the drama or attention.

Sandra1984 · 21/03/2023 19:08

Emotionalsupportviper · 21/03/2023 18:44

That comment aged well.

I still believe (updates et all) that the OP made a drama of nothing, maybe she's just a bit paranoid and think that the only reason a trades person would get back to her is because he fancies her because what other reason is there? Had I got that message from BG I would have replied (it sounds like it was him getting the heads up that all was ok), I don't assume right away he's a creep, and if it turns out that was the case then I would have reported of course.

limitedperiodonly · 21/03/2023 19:08

Shit sandwich from @Coffeellama

Sceptre86 · 21/03/2023 19:09

I always think we should listen to our intuition and you were right to. Not sure why you are getting such a hard time about speaking to your mum and dh, I would have done the exact same. I too don't answer calls from numbers I don't know and wouldn't have in this instance. If it had been with regards to a missed tool or something similar he could have said that in a text or voice mail. There is a reason why he should have logged his visit and should not have had your number.

FrostyFifi · 21/03/2023 19:19

The really depressing part of this thread is how many of you minimisers are probably raising daughters.

ASimpleLampoon · 21/03/2023 19:19

Breach of GDPR ans not acceptable. You should report as he is probably doing it to others. if it's innocent he can clear it up but I doubt it.

Naunet · 21/03/2023 19:28

I don’t know why so many women still bend over backwards to give men the benefit of the doubt, even when they’ve acted inappropriately. Even mocking a woman when she expresses concern, because obviously, we should all assume the best of men at all times for some reason. 🙄

CustardySergeant · 21/03/2023 19:31

ASimpleLampoon · 21/03/2023 19:19

Breach of GDPR ans not acceptable. You should report as he is probably doing it to others. if it's innocent he can clear it up but I doubt it.

She has reported it! She said that in the first post.

Thingshavegonetoshit · 21/03/2023 19:35

I often read posts on MN and wonder whether the many women calling each other names are like this in real life, I also wonder how they’d feel if their child or themselves were called these names at school or at work and if they didn’t find it acceptable then why are they so happy to throw insults around.

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 19:38

Coffeellama · 21/03/2023 19:06

OP you did the right thing and I’m glad you got a good outcome and hopefully that’s the end of it. Whilst you were right, you still have been totally dramatic about it on here with your long ‘powerful’ posts calling this place a cesspit and the women on here hags for disagreeing with your point and suggesting other reasons for him calling other than him being a crazy person.

YOU said in your OP ‘has anyone else had their friendly engineer hit them up’ and you wondered why anyone assumes you think he fancies you. If you hate mumsnet and everyone on it so much why not step back and stop winding yourself up about it now, seen as you don’t like the drama or attention.

Oh I take nothing back! Truly detestable, judgemental, contradictory nonsense from So. Many. Nasty. Sounding. Women! I can be called attention seeking, an idiot, a fantasist, a drama queen, full of myself, OTT, my husband can be called unhinged and inappropriate, I'm accused of getting a 'poor bloke' in trouble. I cannot call anyone else a cruel cow though and have to be made to feel stupid for posting in the first place!

As for my "long and powerful posts" and comments on the toxicity of some posters on this forum?
Coffeellama and Co = "waaah, we don't like the mirror that's being held up to us!"

OP posts:
clpsmum · 21/03/2023 19:40

Appleblum · 21/03/2023 11:38

You spoke to everyone about it except the one person who was trying to speak to you? Why? 😂

I would have called or texted him back to find out what it's about, then block him if inappropriate.

This! Such a strange reaction from you and your family tbh

limitedperiodonly · 21/03/2023 19:43

duc748 · 21/03/2023 18:26

Well I'm a bloke, and I think the OP's actions were both proportionate and sensible. And justified by the responses from BG.

@duc748 I don't usually welcome a manly man's view but credit where credit's due, you are spot on here. So I thank you and I mean that.

A few years ago we had a lot of work done on our house and it was me that was in alone with the various workmen. Scaffolders, builders, electricians, plasterers, painters.

This was all fine apart from the painter who I called Mark, The Paint Stripper, because he was the only one who'd take his clothes off down to his pants in front of me and when I said: "The bathroom's in there, Mark," answered "I'm not shy."

I didn't like it and it was not normal - the plasterer had to change into his work clothes and asked me where he could do it. I directed him to the bathroom and when I said I would hang his clothes up for him in the bedroom he said to leave them in a neat pile on the bathroom floor. Of course he did. I now realise he wanted his things in a specific place so neither of us could be confused about where those things were and where we should go.

The workmen were allowed to use my loo. Obviously. I'm not a Mumsnet weirdo about strange men shitting in my toilet because most people are normal. The only time I noticed this was when Mark was pissing in it with the door open and I said sorry and he said: "I'm not shy."

That was weird.

I wondered if it was me and mentioned it to my hubby and he said: "WTF?"

So I called Mark's boss and asked for another painter.

puffinpetra · 21/03/2023 19:44

Sigh @PandaEyed13 you're not coming across well now. There have been some mean responses, there always are on MN. But there have been some sensible ones too and you literally haven't taken any opinion on board apart from the ones that agree with yours. Do you not see the contradiction in lamenting women for hating and being cruel to one another then using words like toxic and hags?

Maybe you just wanted everyone to agree that the guy was clear a monster and a sex pest. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. You'll probably never know now.

Coffeellama · 21/03/2023 19:47

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 19:38

Oh I take nothing back! Truly detestable, judgemental, contradictory nonsense from So. Many. Nasty. Sounding. Women! I can be called attention seeking, an idiot, a fantasist, a drama queen, full of myself, OTT, my husband can be called unhinged and inappropriate, I'm accused of getting a 'poor bloke' in trouble. I cannot call anyone else a cruel cow though and have to be made to feel stupid for posting in the first place!

As for my "long and powerful posts" and comments on the toxicity of some posters on this forum?
Coffeellama and Co = "waaah, we don't like the mirror that's being held up to us!"

I only called you a drama llama in your posting style on mumsnet, which I totally stand by, happy to see that mirror thanks. Your real life response contacting British Gas is sensible and proportionate, yes I would have just called the guy back based on your first post, but with his following calls I would have done the same as you. Your over dramatic posting style on this thread in response to everyone’s opinions that haven’t agreed with you is pretty dramatic though.

DashboardConfessional · 21/03/2023 19:47

Maybe you just wanted everyone to agree that the guy was clear a monster and a sex pest. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. You'll probably never know now.

We do know. He had no reason to give when asked why he was calling her. He was harassing a woman he knew was married.

JML001 · 21/03/2023 19:56

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 14:57

He didn't leave a tool at mine, and I'm just not mentioning it and I'm stealing it.

I know that's not what you're saying or accusing me of. I can just assure every single last person here, there are no tools here!

There are a few tools on here in fairness OP 😜

FlyingEye · 21/03/2023 20:04

Mumsnet police be looking out for people who don’t post to their personal liking 👀

Say it’s black, they’ll call it white.

Started name changing because they dreg up some old unrelated post and accuse you of all sorts.

Started getting weird around here. Can’t pinpoint when, but it’s a shame.

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 20:07

puffinpetra · 21/03/2023 19:44

Sigh @PandaEyed13 you're not coming across well now. There have been some mean responses, there always are on MN. But there have been some sensible ones too and you literally haven't taken any opinion on board apart from the ones that agree with yours. Do you not see the contradiction in lamenting women for hating and being cruel to one another then using words like toxic and hags?

Maybe you just wanted everyone to agree that the guy was clear a monster and a sex pest. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. You'll probably never know now.

I said multiple times in multiple different comments that I'm not interested in getting anyone in trouble and that if it all turned out to be innocent, I was happy to move on and take it no further. I'm happy to accept a difference of opinion, I've said that and said it again.
I honestly think you've not read all my updates on my posts before commenting though because at the end of the day, it didnt boil down to an innocent tool being left behind or a sign off on paperwork, what it came down to from BG was - he literally just wanted to call me and provided no reason! I consider it dealt with though with them now.
And sorry no, I don't think calling some of the posters on here 'toxic' is contradictory. How is calling someone an actual idiot as a first port of comment not toxic. Agree to disagree on that one puffinpetra

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 21/03/2023 20:11

Maybe you just wanted everyone to agree that the guy was clear a monster and a sex pest. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. You'll probably never know now.

@puffinpetra why are you obsessed with knowing the outcome? OP was unsettled so reported it to the man's employer. From her update it looks like they agreed it required further investigation. They might decide it requires no further action.

You are the only person who has called him a monster and sex pest.

MissMissive · 21/03/2023 20:32

ZeroFuchsGiven · 21/03/2023 18:13

I dont.

Fair enough. It takes all sorts.

PandaEyed13 · 21/03/2023 20:37

limitedperiodonly · 21/03/2023 20:11

Maybe you just wanted everyone to agree that the guy was clear a monster and a sex pest. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. You'll probably never know now.

@puffinpetra why are you obsessed with knowing the outcome? OP was unsettled so reported it to the man's employer. From her update it looks like they agreed it required further investigation. They might decide it requires no further action.

You are the only person who has called him a monster and sex pest.

BG said that he would have not been given my contact information from them in order to call me. If he has my number, the only way he could have it is if he saved it in his personal phone on the first day he met me 3 weeks ago. They said he shouldn't have done that, or contacted me at all even once for any reason. If he needed to contact me, he should have advised an agent who would call me on a registered business line. He also contacted the most recent engineer who visited my property to suggest she follow up with me via call too, he did that today, but they said this engineer declined. I don't know why he did that? They didnt say. Possibly if another engineer rang too, maybe it could make it look less odd that he himself had called me loads. That is just me speculating though, I'm not saying that is definitely what it was, before I get hung on here again! Either way, they said it's all against their policies and practices and that they will deal with him via internal discipline procedures, and then offered me 30 quid on my meter!

OP posts:
TwoHedgehogs · 21/03/2023 20:43

I've read your posts and you clearly have some unresolved trauma over what happened to you in the past. If this was me and someone who had done some work called I'd simply answer and see what they wanted. If they were trying it on I'd simply say I'm married thanks, bye. This seems like a whole load of drama over nothing, he's simply rang you not propositioned you. You've probably got someone on a disciplinary over nothing. Maybe seek some help for your past trauma.

Reinventinganna · 21/03/2023 20:43

FrostyFifi · 21/03/2023 19:19

The really depressing part of this thread is how many of you minimisers are probably raising daughters.

Yes!

Reinventinganna · 21/03/2023 20:44

TwoHedgehogs · 21/03/2023 20:43

I've read your posts and you clearly have some unresolved trauma over what happened to you in the past. If this was me and someone who had done some work called I'd simply answer and see what they wanted. If they were trying it on I'd simply say I'm married thanks, bye. This seems like a whole load of drama over nothing, he's simply rang you not propositioned you. You've probably got someone on a disciplinary over nothing. Maybe seek some help for your past trauma.

But he shouldn’t have called her.

MissMissive · 21/03/2023 20:45

I’m imagining the wife of an engineer posting and saying their husband got into trouble at work for this and how it could all be innocent and the customer shouldn’t have reported him etc - the answers would be really different and she’d be told in no uncertain terms the likelihood of what he was doing.