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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think he might be "the one" after 1 date?

115 replies

GodzillaManilla · 20/03/2023 18:14

I've been single for about 7 years so I've been on probably hundreds of dates lol (only in the last year I've been dating with the intention of a serious relationship though)

I'm on a dating app and starting chatting to a guy who definitely isn't my usual type physically but there was something drawing me to him, and I do still find him attractive, so we started talking and things were flowing, exchanged numbers, spoke every day all day for about a week before meeting up for a drink at a local pub.
We spent the next 7 hours laughing and talking, the pub eventually closed for the night so I called a taxi, we stood and chatted outside until it arrived, shared a kiss and I went home. We carried on texting for another hour or two and have arranged to meet up tomorrow for bowling and a meal.

Something just feels... different this time. As soon as I sat down something in my brain was almost like "yep he's the one".

Am I being totally unreasonable here haha? Does this actually happen in real life, or should I maybe see a neurologist because I've finally lost the plot??

OP posts:
Nucon · 20/03/2023 18:16

I had one date and knew there was something about him. We’ve now been together 7 years and got married last year. But just go carefully, it’s hard not to get too attached when you feel like that but also don’t want to get hurt if it doesn’t work out

OnlyFannys · 20/03/2023 18:17

You can definitely tell if you click with someone very quickly, you obviously had great chemistry together! My current partner and I felt immediately comfortable after the first date and I knew he was going to be someone I persued something with. Congrats on a lovely date and fingers crossed for you 😊

ilarious · 20/03/2023 18:19

Sounds magical! Hope it works out for you. These things do happen

TheGoogleMum · 20/03/2023 18:22

Sounds great! I hope it works out for you OP. Might be better not to tell him in case it scares him off though (unless he says something like it!)

imagiantwitch · 20/03/2023 18:30

I knew during date 1 that I'd marry DH, 18 years ago now!

Nonameyet1 · 20/03/2023 18:56

Love this! I knew from date 1 that he was definitely marriage material. (Actually his photo of the dating website - I thought this I the kind of man I want to marry!) Married with children now!

VaseWaterFlowers · 20/03/2023 18:59

It could be the real deal but it could equally be a narcisstic type just mirroring back to you exactly what you want to see in your perfect man and step 1 in a love bombing attack.

No one here can tell you which is more likely.

I'd say tread carefully and consider the maxim if something seems to good to be true it usually is.

He maybe the one but keep your wits about you and maybe read some of the threads here in relationships of people who have been brutally dumped by a narcissist following a perfect beginning - not to put you off him but so you know what you should be looking out for.

twitterexile · 20/03/2023 19:00

I knew after one date too. Married for 20 years this year.

WeWereInParis · 20/03/2023 19:02

Years ago I went on a first date the same night that my housemate also went on a first date. The next day we both said we felt similar to how you describe about our respective dates, and we both ended up marrying them.

Of course, to put a more cynical spin on it, I'm sure there are plenty of times someone has felt like that and it hasn't gone anywhere, they just don't remember it.

Mehmeh22 · 20/03/2023 19:03

I had a similar feeling with my husband after three weeks. I just knew. Still try to go slow though cause you never get the dating stage back

CharlotteMullen · 20/03/2023 19:05

No one here can tell, OP, and replies that say they could are self-selecting — all the people who fell for someone immediately but discovered they were an idiot on date 2 or 7 aren’t generally posting. Good luck, though! Hope he’s a good egg!

Livinghappy · 20/03/2023 19:06

spoke every day all day for about a week

That seems full on. What is his relationship history? Could be great but also watch out for live bombing.

WeAreAllLionesses · 20/03/2023 19:07

I was proposed to after three days. He's now an ex - didn't end well.

Just take it nice and slowly!

Roselilly36 · 20/03/2023 19:08

That sounds lovely OP, hopefully your instinct is right. Wishing you all the very best.

Starseeed · 20/03/2023 19:08

I don’t see how you can possibly know after one date. Yes, the chemistry box might be ticked, but relationships are more than chemistry. Do you know your values/goals are aligned? e.g. on how you feel about marriage, children, finances etc? Are you able to communicate about difficult stuff and hold each other in high enough regard to work through arguments? Have you both worked through past traumas enough to be able to be present with each other? All of that takes time to figure out.

GodzillaManilla · 20/03/2023 19:09

Thanks for all your replies!!

I'd like to think I've got a pretty good initiative, I can read people quite well and I've been on enough dates over the years to know when someone's a dickhead 😂

We have a few mutuals (men and women) and I've asked them what he's like and they've all said he's really lovely etc., no one has had a bad word to say which is a relief!

It's really lovely to hear that it can happen! I know its super early days but I'm excited 🥰

OP posts:
Naughty1205 · 20/03/2023 19:10

I also had one date and knew. Married nearly 16 years now. It's a different feeling. When you know you know.

Whichwhatnow · 20/03/2023 19:13

My DH came over to mine for a drink after randomly meeting (briefly) and adding each other on FB the night before. It was meant to be one drink at home then maybe a couple at the pub if it went well. Well, we stayed up talking and laughing literally all night and he never really left! Living together pretty much straight away, engaged within weeks and married within 11 months of first meeting. We still regularly stay up all night just talking, laughing, debating - I truly believe he's my soulmate. So it can happen! In retrospect it was crazy and I'd probably suggest taking it slower, but it worked out for us 😃

Wishimaywishimight · 20/03/2023 19:16

You always hear about the people who "knew" immediately they had met their future husband (from way down the line when it has all worked out) , not so much from those who felt that way but he either turned out to be a knob or he didn't feel the same way so the feeling of 'knowing' was all one sided.

Not saying that's the case at all for the OP!

LovedmyRaleighChopper · 20/03/2023 19:18

I knew after one date with Mr R Chopper! So did he. Engaged after 3 weeks, married after 7 months. Still married 30 something years later. Sometimes it really is that simple. He can be an irritating tit, but there’s no one I’d rather be married to! I still remember the thrill and the sweetness of those early days. Enjoy it 😉

NotDeborahMeadan · 20/03/2023 19:19

There's the ones you marry and the ones you don't...I think I knew before the first date, there was the choice between a bit of fun and a more long-term relationship that I couldn't see ending.

Will have to let you know how it ends but it's 20 years and counting so far 😊

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 20/03/2023 19:19

I hope you continue to have a lovely time. I’d probably say not to go jumping in too much, too fast and let it grow before making any big pronouncements. I’ve been bitten a couple of times myself and it hurts… Then along came the one who proposed quickly and I’ve never looked back.

SquidwardBound · 20/03/2023 19:21

If you’d asked me before we had a baby, I’d have described my first date with my husband similarly.

Alas, he makes a great first impression… but, when it comes down to it, he’s a totally self-centred git.

My advice would be to enjoy it but hold judgment on the long term prospects until you know him better and you’ve seen both how he weathers his own storms and responds to any of yours.

WingingItSince1973 · 20/03/2023 19:23

It does happen. Been married 26 years now to 'the one' I fell for after just one date. But I wouldn't tell him yet otherwise that could be overwhelming. Just enjoy the time together.

ILoveMyCaravan · 20/03/2023 19:25

I knew during our first date. He wasn't my normal type at all, but I was very attracted to him. 26 years and 2 kids later. He's definitely my soul mate.