Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he might be "the one" after 1 date?

115 replies

GodzillaManilla · 20/03/2023 18:14

I've been single for about 7 years so I've been on probably hundreds of dates lol (only in the last year I've been dating with the intention of a serious relationship though)

I'm on a dating app and starting chatting to a guy who definitely isn't my usual type physically but there was something drawing me to him, and I do still find him attractive, so we started talking and things were flowing, exchanged numbers, spoke every day all day for about a week before meeting up for a drink at a local pub.
We spent the next 7 hours laughing and talking, the pub eventually closed for the night so I called a taxi, we stood and chatted outside until it arrived, shared a kiss and I went home. We carried on texting for another hour or two and have arranged to meet up tomorrow for bowling and a meal.

Something just feels... different this time. As soon as I sat down something in my brain was almost like "yep he's the one".

Am I being totally unreasonable here haha? Does this actually happen in real life, or should I maybe see a neurologist because I've finally lost the plot??

OP posts:
tunamayo81 · 20/03/2023 19:26

GodzillaManilla · 20/03/2023 18:14

I've been single for about 7 years so I've been on probably hundreds of dates lol (only in the last year I've been dating with the intention of a serious relationship though)

I'm on a dating app and starting chatting to a guy who definitely isn't my usual type physically but there was something drawing me to him, and I do still find him attractive, so we started talking and things were flowing, exchanged numbers, spoke every day all day for about a week before meeting up for a drink at a local pub.
We spent the next 7 hours laughing and talking, the pub eventually closed for the night so I called a taxi, we stood and chatted outside until it arrived, shared a kiss and I went home. We carried on texting for another hour or two and have arranged to meet up tomorrow for bowling and a meal.

Something just feels... different this time. As soon as I sat down something in my brain was almost like "yep he's the one".

Am I being totally unreasonable here haha? Does this actually happen in real life, or should I maybe see a neurologist because I've finally lost the plot??

Impossible to know really, we don’t know you and what sort of person you are. I guess only time will tell. Do report back please. Be cautious and don’t jump in with both feet but Hope it’s the real deal

AndrexPuppy · 20/03/2023 19:28

Maybe but it’s far more likely that you are just madly in lust. Nothing wrong with that but proceed with caution, don’t make any hasty decisions.

Username24680 · 20/03/2023 19:31

GodzillaManilla · 20/03/2023 19:09

Thanks for all your replies!!

I'd like to think I've got a pretty good initiative, I can read people quite well and I've been on enough dates over the years to know when someone's a dickhead 😂

We have a few mutuals (men and women) and I've asked them what he's like and they've all said he's really lovely etc., no one has had a bad word to say which is a relief!

It's really lovely to hear that it can happen! I know its super early days but I'm excited 🥰

@GodzillaManilla Always a good sign if people you know have good things to say 😊

Take it slow and enjoy it for what it is 😊

I wouldn’t think twice about him not being your usual type...there’s a reason these things haven’t worked out in the past 😊

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 20/03/2023 19:36

Date 3 for me but it was Date 1 for him (I like to sleep with people before I can establish if we are truly comparable) this was a mere 6 weeks ago but as we are in our 50s we have fast tracked everything we speak at least twice a day with all day texts in between and have firm plans to live together from next year. We feel like twins we are so very similar. So yes although I didn't believe it happened in real life it can and does.

CharlotteMullen · 20/03/2023 19:38

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 20/03/2023 19:36

Date 3 for me but it was Date 1 for him (I like to sleep with people before I can establish if we are truly comparable) this was a mere 6 weeks ago but as we are in our 50s we have fast tracked everything we speak at least twice a day with all day texts in between and have firm plans to live together from next year. We feel like twins we are so very similar. So yes although I didn't believe it happened in real life it can and does.

You’re a mere six weeks into this relationship! Far too early to tell whether this will work out well, at any age!

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 20/03/2023 19:40

I'll report back either way but I know it's the real deal. So too early for you maybe but not for us.

remotecontrolleddog · 20/03/2023 19:43

Knew - he wasn’t my type either - engaged in 2 weeks, married within 6 months - happily married 23 years later. I gave up everything for him ir was totally worth the risk, but I was young and I only had myself to worry about - we didn’t have kids for 3 years - just in case😊

Acrylicpainter · 20/03/2023 19:47

I felt the same when I went on the first date with my ex, we clicked and seemed to have the same values , we laughed and everything was great .All his friends said he was a fantastic bloke but they never saw behind closed doors, he was horrifically abusive .
I hope it works out Op but do proceed with caution.

CharlotteMullen · 20/03/2023 19:48

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 20/03/2023 19:40

I'll report back either way but I know it's the real deal. So too early for you maybe but not for us.

I’m perfectly prepared to believe it might work out brilliantly, but you can’t possibly know it’s ‘the real deal’ at this stage, when you’re both still drunk with lust and on your best, most loved-up behaviour.

I do absolutely agree with you, though, on sleeping with someone asap — nothing worse than falling for someone to discover you’re disastrously sexually incompatible.

Shunkleisshiny · 20/03/2023 19:49

Met in June '77, engaged December '77 married December '78. Still happily married 46 years later, he is the greatest!

AlltheFs · 20/03/2023 19:54

I went on my first and only OLD just over 10 years ago. We moved in together after 6 weeks, engaged at 4 months, married a year later and have a 3.5yo DD.

Sometimes you just know (and we were older and just wanted to get on with it).

People did think we were mad but we’ve already outlasted people that did things more traditionally.

Good luck @GodzillaManilla be cautious obviously but equally it does happen.

PamDoooove · 20/03/2023 19:56

Oh this is exciting OP! With DH, I knew. I'd had a LOT of first dates before that but this really did feel different. Almost 12 years on and we're married, so I guess I was right! Really hope this is also the case for you!

Devilsadvocaat0 · 20/03/2023 20:03

I felt like this on a few dates OLD unfortunately as much as I liked them it often didn’t work out after a few months, normally the usual they didn’t want a serious relationship, were moving away etc. I am married now though.

Enjoy it but don’t get too attached as I learnt for a lot of men too much too soon can scare them away.

Im99912 · 20/03/2023 20:12

I knew
my husband came home with me from a nightclub and never really left 😂😂
married within 4 months
together 24 years this summer
we still do all the stupid stuff we did when we first met staying up late watching films
going out to clubs ( much older crowd) and trying to stay till the end of the night

Joystir59 · 20/03/2023 20:16

I knew before we went on our first date, and my oh knew as soon as she saw me.

QueSyrahSyrah · 20/03/2023 20:17

Yep. I'd also dated a LOT before I matched with DH on an app, met up with him on a night out that week and saw him again the very next day.

It was like I'd known him all my life.

Tandora · 20/03/2023 20:21

AlltheFs · 20/03/2023 19:54

I went on my first and only OLD just over 10 years ago. We moved in together after 6 weeks, engaged at 4 months, married a year later and have a 3.5yo DD.

Sometimes you just know (and we were older and just wanted to get on with it).

People did think we were mad but we’ve already outlasted people that did things more traditionally.

Good luck @GodzillaManilla be cautious obviously but equally it does happen.

Wow that’s some crazy impressive stats. You must be a great first date 😝

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 20/03/2023 20:25

The entire point of this thread @CharlotteMullen is that you can know from very early on.

Lola001 · 20/03/2023 20:26

I knew my husband was the one before we even met up.
You be careful though.

DaisyBoop · 20/03/2023 20:28

It happens. I decided on our first date that I was going to be with DH forever and luckily he felt the same ❤️ ❤️

Honeyroar · 20/03/2023 20:31

I say steady up!
Ive thought that a couple of times in the past. Then I discovered we had totally different thinking on debt (he ran it up for fun and happily took risks, wherever I don’t.! There may be chemistry at this point, but you don’t really know him yet. Hope it does work though.

JamSandle · 20/03/2023 20:34

I've had this feeling a few times. It's been both good and bad. One of the worst men I ever met gave me this feeling. Enjoy it but bring your head along for the right in case he shows Red flags.

CharlotteMullen · 20/03/2023 20:35

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 20/03/2023 20:25

The entire point of this thread @CharlotteMullen is that you can know from very early on.

I don’t think that is the point of this thread. This and other similar threads are dominated by people who thought they could tell from early on and their relationships lasted. Other people thought they could and it didn’t, but they’re less likely to post on these threads.

Original poster
GodzillaManilla · 20/03/2023 20:35

Of course, I won't be texting him tomorrow like 'You're the one!' Because that's insane haha.

We discussed a lot on the date, and all the mutuals have verified what he's told me about himself (job etc) I've never had this type of certain feeling about someone before, it's so strange but I'm just so giddy 😂

I will be taking things slow because if this is someone I end up with long term then there's no rush

OP posts:
AlltheFs · 20/03/2023 20:38

Tandora · 20/03/2023 20:21

Wow that’s some crazy impressive stats. You must be a great first date 😝

Show quote history

I’d been single for forever and been nagged by friends to try OLD as they had been doing it for a while.
Signed up in Dec, first and only date in Jan and that was that. The same friends are still single….
It must just have been one of those serendipity moments.

We were 35 and 40 though, no kids and financially independent so didn’t really risk anything IYSWIM. Either of us could have stopped it at any moment. I wouldn’t have taken the risk if I’d been dependent or had kids already.