Friend sick but still wanting to come over

[lrdefender]

I'm in a dilemma here and was hoping for some insight. My friend is due to come over for dinner on Wednesday. We had planned this for a while due to our schedules. However she's been unwell the past two weeks. She said it's the flu and not COVID. I did ask at the start of the illness if she had tested for COVID as there is a surge currently (certainly where I work) and it seems to be going around even in my wider circle of friends.

I have been extra careful as my FIL has cancer (he is undergoing chemo) and so obviously I don't want to spread it to him - or indeed anyone! She left me a voice note today and was hacking away in between rambling. The cough sounded truly awful. I asked her again it she had tested for COVID. She said no, but didn't think it was COVID anyway. How she's so sure without testing, I have no idea.

I don't know how to tell her that maybe not catching up tomorrow is a good idea.

I know this reads as a very 2020 problem, so I'm sorry if this has been done to death.

Huh? You don’t know how to say a very simple sentence???? Am I missing something?

Some people really do need their hands holding don’t they?

Glad to see you've made your point and cancelled OP.

In your shoes I'd be thinking very carefully about how good a friend she really is.

Even if it's just a cold or flu (and not Covid) that could still be dangerous to your sick FIL. My dad has various chronic health conditions and I never visit if I've got even the sniffles. A cold to me can be a very difficult chest infection to him.

So no, you're not being unreasonable at all. But I wouldn't ask her if you should, I would say nicely 'I'd absolutely love to see you but I can hear you're still unwell so let's rearrange once you're better'.

As others have said it doesn't matter what it is to you and your family do not want it! I'm really quite unwell with the flu at the moment and it's miserable. Having this whilst doing chemotherapy would potentially kill your FIL.

What doesn't she get?

I'm in a dilemma here

What's the dilemma?

"Sorry pal, will have to postpone you, as I can't risk catching flu & compromising FiL. Neither do I want a dose on my own account! Get well soon & we'll set a date for next week."

"What part of "my FiL is very sick indeed" are you not getting? My work in a lab doesn't involve sick people. Your visit would. That is why I am postponing it until you are well out of any risk period."

Her coming over is high risk. The answer is no, she cannot come.

Exactly the same here - first time round I had an awful cough and was struggling to breathe but no fever etc, second time had a fever and bad aches and pains but no cough at all.

Just say no.

Rearrange...your fil doesn't want flu or covid now

Your friend is a complete dick.

Does she always behave with so little concern for others?

Good for you for cancelling.

I had Covid in early Jan 2021 and it left me floored. Completely knackered. I picked up another dose of Covid during the summer of 2022 (after being vaccinated) and it was so much milder that I didn't realise I was Covid +.

So she could easily be Covid+ and claim that it's not it. The only way she would know for definite is to do a test.