To think I wouldn't send my child away for the summer

[PeachPiePrincess]

The title is not quite nuanced enough. I'm wondering what others' opinions are on this

As a child (in the 80s) my parents sent me off in the summer holidays with my aunts to the seaside town they were all from. My parents stayed in the city to work and visited at weekends. (I had a great time I'm sure.) I was probably around 2½ the first summer and knew my aunts very well. I would have been in Creche all week otherwise and home with my parents in the evening.

As a parent now myself I wouldn't send my children away even though I can see that they might have a better time at the seaside . Would you?

For the voting
YABU - I'd send my children off with family members to the seaside
YANBU - I wouldn't send my children away without me

Yes you make a good point about selfishness. I personally think that I wouldn't be happy to send my young DC off for the summer. Maybe when they're older. Aged 7 and up perhaps?

My parents never sent us but I wouldn't go (I was a homebody). But I think I would send my DD if I knew she would be safe with the people she was staying with. I've never lived with her dad so almost every summer since she was 4 she went to stay with him (and he lived hours away from me). She loved it and always had a great time. She even flew on the plane by herself and she loved it. If my DM had been alive when she was a kid I would've done the same. It would depend on if the kid wants to go or not and if I trust the person they are staying with.

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I can and will reframe this in my mind. That my DP thought I would benefit more from being away from the city and at the beach for the summer rather than them "sending me away"

Our personal circumstances (one parent not working) meant we never had to do this - although since the children were about 4 and 6 they've spent 4 or 5 days with nanny every summer.

If we needed it, and they were willing and able, I absolutely would have sent my kids to a relative rather than have them in childcare. They're now old enough to entertain themselves so again not required, but they do still spend a week with nanny in the summer!

My Mother was a SAHM so we never went anywhere, 6 weeks of just playing around our house wish we had got to go somewhere different, I did live by the sea though.

SIL was a single parent but used to send her DC to live with their GPs 400 miles away each Summer, shed them take 2 weeks holiday whilst they were away, she probably felt she had earned the break.

We were looked after by family but it was local so home at night. As a teacher I will feel privileged to be able to offer school holiday childcare to any grandchildren when they come along to help out!

If you don’t want to send your children then don’t do it - but it’s a great solution for many families.

I don't send mine but we have the childrens cousins for the summer and easter holidays and have since they were about 8mths old. We have one set of two from my sister and a two single kids from my partners siblings. Their parents all work full time and send some money so we can take them on daytrips and to cover the extra food and stuff but its great. Our kids have extra children to play with, the cousins are all similar ages and all have really good relationships with each other. We tend to go camping in the summer and its really fun having a little pack of children who all entertain each other.
They see it as a holiday and their parents save childcare costs and dont have to take time off work.

Wouldn't you have been all hot and sweaty and stuffy in a creche all summer? Perhaps they wanted you to get some fresh air and vitamin D? Did you have a bad time there OP?

It was the norm in pretty much all of the Enid Blyton books! None of them seemed to mind.

I’m in France where it’s completely normal to send even babies away to grandparents for summer. The holidays are 8 weeks long, so 2 weeks with each set of grandparents (often at the beach, camping, or at the country house), two weeks ´colo’ (colonie de vacances) or local holiday clubs and two weeks on holiday with parents. Colos will take kids from 6yrs up, grandparents will often take babies of a year old.

My friends on continent still do the same as well.

I think this sounds so lovely and would love to send the kids to their grandmas in Devon when they're older. I think it will be good for them to get a bit more independence and enjoy one on one time with grandma in a lovely seaside setting. I probably wouldn't do it while they're still really young, maybe older primary school age and up. 2.5 sounds a bit young to us now but things were different then.

Hahaha I was thinking Enid Blyton too. Lashings of ginger ale and sandwiches wrapped in brown grease proof paper.

I wouldn't at 2.5 but with older children it can be the nicer option for everyone. I've haven't needed childcare during the summer yet but when I do I might consider sending my children to my parents for part of the summer (there is no childcare options where I live anyway for children over nursery age). I would feel comfortable sending them now (youngest is 5) but while I have the free time to visit my parents I'd want to go with them too. Could also possibly send them to MIL and her husband but they're not retired yet (but would be really nice for my children to go to theirs as they have horses)

It's not super hot where we are! The Creche was an outdoorsy place but maybe that was a consideration.

I didn't have a bad time, I don't remember much about it.

What I was thinking is that to let a toddler head off for the summer and only see them at weekends ( I'm not using the term "sent away"!) shows a lack of attachment. I personally do not feel that my DM was very attached to me as a child.

This is not in any way meant to reflect on any other parent whose child goes anywhere without them. I have seen that there are many reasons and situations for this.

I haven't voted because I think 2.5 is too young but for an older child I think it's fine. For a primary age child, if we had a relative who they were close to and comfortable with, who I trusted, and who was happy to have them for a chunk of the summer holidays, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I would visit at weekends.

"I personally do not feel that my DM was very attached to me as a child."

Well, that's the real issue, isn't it?

We went to stay with GP a four hour flight away and loved it. We were very close to them. I really struggled when I got a job and was limited to two weeks at a time. I’m still really attached to the place we went, where my parents now run the house. My own children have spent whole summers there. Not totally without me. I would go for two weeks and then they had an extra few weeks and came back with my parents. They also have fond memories. Every year when I suggest we might go elsewhere in the summer they won’t hear of it.

I stayed at home with my sister while my parents worked even though we were too young, because if they didn't both work we would lose our home. Probably would have preferred staying with an aunt.

Yes, I suppose it is!!

I was wondering if people would say definitely yes or definitely no, to give me more of an insight into what the general population would do