To think I wouldn't send my child away for the summer

[PeachPiePrincess]

The title is not quite nuanced enough. I'm wondering what others' opinions are on this

As a child (in the 80s) my parents sent me off in the summer holidays with my aunts to the seaside town they were all from. My parents stayed in the city to work and visited at weekends. (I had a great time I'm sure.) I was probably around 2½ the first summer and knew my aunts very well. I would have been in Creche all week otherwise and home with my parents in the evening.

As a parent now myself I wouldn't send my children away even though I can see that they might have a better time at the seaside . Would you?

For the voting
YABU - I'd send my children off with family members to the seaside
YANBU - I wouldn't send my children away without me

As a parent now myself I wouldn't send my children away even though I can see that they might have a better time at the seaside

Whats wrong with your children staying with family if they would have a better time?

If they would have a better time with extended family but would be stuck in summer holiday childcare at home surely it’s a purely selfish reason to keep them at home?

Yes, you're right I guess. I don't know enough about the childcare structure in the US.

My parents would have done this I'm sure if they'd had someone who lived by the seaside. We spent school holidays entertained by great aunts etc as both parents worked. As we got older we went to some really brilliant playschemes etc but I suspect it was difficult to find activities like that in the 80s.

It's not just childcare thing and just in US.
I went to summer camps even when mum was sahm. It was absolutely great and every year I looked forward to that.
Or spending week with one grandparents then week with others.

Yes to pp mentioning local summer friends! As I said, great memories.

I spent alot of time in devon with family, loved it and yes would send kids off if instead theyd have been in childcare.

Also i used to go to this camp that was like a week or two long, Loved it but i had asked to go there.

I went to stay at my cousin's all summer, my parents had to work, they didn't have careers, they had to work to pay the bills. There wasn't childcare then and even if there was, they couldn't afford it. I wasn't 2.5 though, but 6ish. I loved it, looked forward to it every year. My parents could never afford a holiday themselves, so I knew I was lucky.

Would I send my own children away - no, because I have no need to and I don't have any family who would take them for that length of time. Plus it's a bit different when you have more than one (I'm an only).

ALSO yes i think its selfish to leave kids in childcare if you know they would prefer/have more fun with family instead if the family are offering the holiday.

i knew someone once whos mum refused her to go away abroad on holiday with family once. It was a trip of a lifetime type holiday and everyone in the family was going including her 6 cousins. she was 13 and never forgave her mum as there was no reason, she just didnt want her away on the weekends. Wanted her staying home alone whilst the mum worked and then with her in the evenings. That was harsh. everyone went and had 3 weeks of great fun as a family and she had to stay and entertain her mother who worked 8 am til 6.30pm.

My dc have spent time with their auntie, uncle and cousins in the summer holidays, and we then have the cousins, in turn. Lots of fun! The parents can work and the dc have two holidays for the price of none.

So, yes, I would 'send my dc away'. Because I always try to do what's best for them.

I spent weeks with relatives in the summer until I was old enough to stay at home on my own. My parents worked. I don’t think there was any other option. Things like playschemes ran on school hours and only for a couple of weeks. Mum and dad visited at the weekends.

I think it was different back then. I used to be sent away for holidays too. My parents were working, they couldn't provide much entertainment to me and my sister. The only thing for us was going to swim in the lake after work when dad was back home and could drive us there. I used to spend loads of time and grandma's or other family, playing with cousins etc. and I had much better time there than with parents hahah. Maybe it's me, because my sister was attached to home and she didn't want to visit for long stays. We're different adults now too, I'm not close to family home, as she is. I barely visit and I live abroad, or I visit my country on secret city breaks and don't see any family then 😬

I used to go to grand parents who live an hour away for a couple of weeks at a time. I have never really thought about it as 'being sent away'.
My parents were working, I don't remember ever going to holiday clubs or formal childcare so not sure if they weren't a thing or they couldn't afford them.
I loved spending the time with my grandparents, I got spoilt, was able to play out with the local children and always felt it made it quite a bit for my cousins who all lived much closer and saw our grandparents much more often then I did.

I was sent to my sister's (500 miles away) every summer, my Mum never did a day's paid work in her life. She was an older Mum (44 when I was born). Never thought anything of it at the time, but now I wonder if my sister was in fact my Mum (she was 16 years older) ............

My kids go to each set of grandparents for a week in the summer holidays and often for one or more half term weeks too. We are very lucky to be able to do it and I'm glad they can have an independent relationship with their grandparents whilst they're still alive. It's better than holiday clubs, which is what we'd otherwise have to do because of course most jobs don't give you 13/14 weeks of holiday per year (we now have 6 weeks in the summer, 2 weeks at Christmas and Easter, and the October half term is 2 weeks; the others are 1).

I spend every July and two weeks in February with my grandparents until I was 13. I cherish these memories and I am planning to send my child to my parents when she is old enough (she is 11 months now, so too young). I remember swimming in the river, building sand castles, sledding, visiting historic cities and palaces, food they cooked for us, playing tennis, planting flowers. I developed a really strong bond with them and we spoke weekly until they died. My parents were always working that month and they could not give me the same amount of time and attention.

I think as a parent you have to recognize when somebody else can provide your child with something you cannot and just let it happen.

I was sent to my aunt's farm when I was about 14. I had no choice and wasn't close to her. It turns out she was minding her toddler granddaughter that week. I was expected to share a bed with her and look after her all day. I was told off for letting the dog lie on the child's blanket, and told off because the child did a wee in the potty and I didn't empty it. I phoned my dad and begged to come home. He arrived pretty quickly. I dont think I was asked why I'd hated it, nor did my aunt ask why I went home early.

I certainly wouldn't. But I was sent to my dad's parents in summer hols and remember it so very fondly.

But no, I would not want to spend that long away from my child and nor would she me.

Needs must. Your parents did what they thought was best for you at the time. We wouldn’t want to, no, but we’re lucky enough to have had choices.

As a parent now myself I wouldn't send my children away even though I can see that they might have a better time at the seaside

How selfish of you! It doesn't make you a better parent to keep your children tied to your apron strings, denying them some great times with extended family! There seems to be an attitude nowadays that the more you cling to your children, carry them around 24/7 etc. makes you a better parent when it seems to be the opposite.

I think this sounds great to be honest.

A perfectly reasonable childcare option and if they were working they probably didn't have much choice. Limited summer camps in the UK. Being a working parent is hard!

Thank you all for your comments. Some lovely stories of fond memories and some not so great - 💐 for those of you who had a tough time.

I was in Creche anyway while my parents worked so I don't think it was a childcare issue as such

I think it is very sad you felt 'sent away'. I know a single mum who does this for her DCs benefit as being with Grandma is so much better than childcare options for them, not her. Could that not be the case with your DP?

Wow.
Have you ever pursued this question with your sister?