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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I stupidly poor? Or living in the real world?

451 replies

Chunkythighss · 19/03/2023 23:50

Just off the back of another post…
people commenting that they will have to live off £1900 AFTER paying the mortgage and how this is going to be a struggle.

nearly £2000 a month extra.

This is more than I earn a month and pay rent, bills, etc… yet people are saying they’d struggle to live on this after bills?

Am I massively poor or is this normal? 🙈

OP posts:
Divorcedalongtime · 19/03/2023 23:53

I saw that too and was surprised that people didn’t think that could be do able

AngryBirdsNoMore · 19/03/2023 23:56

Is this the insane tax thread? Yeah I felt a bit baffled by that, you’re not alone. Felt like everyone on here earns £100k or more. That’s not normal, I think that’s just a niche thread.

bloodywhitecat · 19/03/2023 23:56

Living off £1900 after the mortgage or living off £1900 after all bills? They are two very different things.

Chunkythighss · 19/03/2023 23:57

@AngryBirdsNoMore no it wasn’t about tax but a different thread.

I can only dream about having £1900 left a month 🙈

OP posts:
ElfDragon · 19/03/2023 23:57

It all depends on what size family/what expenses etc.

on a quick calculation, my monthly costs for gas/elec (big house, want to move, can’t yet as divorce/financials not settled) and running my car (old and stupidly expensive, but I was left with it in the separation and can’t afford to change it) come to almost £1200, leaving me (on the stated budget) £700 for all food, clothes and extras for 4 of us. Not much wriggle room.

Chunkythighss · 19/03/2023 23:58

@bloodywhitecat
either way… it’s a lot of money. Bills on top of that surely wouldn’t be more than £1000?
(Depending on what you have on top of necessaries like water, electricity)

OP posts:
Divorcedalongtime · 20/03/2023 00:03

bloodywhitecat · 19/03/2023 23:56

Living off £1900 after the mortgage or living off £1900 after all bills? They are two very different things.

After mortgage

Pippa12 · 20/03/2023 00:03

They said there outgoings after mortgage were circa £1200 or so… gas/electric, council tax, water rates for big houses are massive, then two cars on finance, 2 mobile phones, gym membership, sky tv, childcare, child’s clubs etc… No benefits. Soon that £1900 is nothing.

Chunkythighss · 20/03/2023 00:27

Pippa12 · 20/03/2023 00:03

They said there outgoings after mortgage were circa £1200 or so… gas/electric, council tax, water rates for big houses are massive, then two cars on finance, 2 mobile phones, gym membership, sky tv, childcare, child’s clubs etc… No benefits. Soon that £1900 is nothing.

But surely that’s still a lot of money? Everything in the second half of your list is extras, not really necessary items (maybe the childcare) but TV, gym etc…
they’re all luxury items

OP posts:
Tinkerbyebye · 20/03/2023 00:34

Chunkythighss · 20/03/2023 00:27

But surely that’s still a lot of money? Everything in the second half of your list is extras, not really necessary items (maybe the childcare) but TV, gym etc…
they’re all luxury items

Are they luxury though? How do you know that gym memberships aren’t needed for health reasons? Sky, ok perhaps, childcare is necessity, not a maybe , if they are both working. Cars are probably needed to get to and from work, we don’t know how far and maybe decent cars that don’t break down maybe needed

If they have a 4 bedroom property, kids etc bills are likely to be higher, more food will be eaten, heating etc more

it’s all relative, is there just you? Do you have kids? Can you compare you to them really?

Phoebo · 20/03/2023 00:38

bloodywhitecat · 19/03/2023 23:56

Living off £1900 after the mortgage or living off £1900 after all bills? They are two very different things.

This

Redbushteaforme · 20/03/2023 00:44

We are lucky enough to have paid off our mortgage and don't have car finance costs just now either. However, I've just totted up that our food (family of four - two adults and two children in four bedroom house) is about £500 per month, petrol/car maintenance costs about £250, electricity/oil heating £600, Council Tax £250 - so £1,600 a month before you start thinking about clothes/shoes, house maintenance, dentist/optician etc or even hobbies/clubs and holidays. So, no, £1,900 doesn't stretch that far for us either, and we are not living luxuriously by any means.

Chunkythighss · 20/03/2023 00:45

Tinkerbyebye · 20/03/2023 00:34

Are they luxury though? How do you know that gym memberships aren’t needed for health reasons? Sky, ok perhaps, childcare is necessity, not a maybe , if they are both working. Cars are probably needed to get to and from work, we don’t know how far and maybe decent cars that don’t break down maybe needed

If they have a 4 bedroom property, kids etc bills are likely to be higher, more food will be eaten, heating etc more

it’s all relative, is there just you? Do you have kids? Can you compare you to them really?

Yes I do have kids, bills, outgoings…
I wasn’t really looking for a debate I was just genuinely surprised that people think that £1900 is not a lot of money to have as extra (plus or minus bills).

I guess we would be classed on the poorer side but it was just a shock to read that people think they couldn’t live off this!

I know people have different circumstances like house size etc but if it came down to it, houses can be downsized and bills can be reduced.

I guess some of us live in very different worlds 🙈

OP posts:
Enthrallingstoryofstillnessandlight · 20/03/2023 00:47

Chunkythighss · 19/03/2023 23:58

@bloodywhitecat
either way… it’s a lot of money. Bills on top of that surely wouldn’t be more than £1000?
(Depending on what you have on top of necessaries like water, electricity)

Bills could easily be £1900. Electric, water, council tax, phones, oil, gas, health insurance, savings, food, car repayment, lunches, fuel, transport, nursery, there are loads of things. Then stuff like gym, dentist, presents, dry cleaning, holidays, days out, pets, charitable donations, god the list is endless surely

Enthrallingstoryofstillnessandlight · 20/03/2023 00:48

Chunkythighss · 20/03/2023 00:45

Yes I do have kids, bills, outgoings…
I wasn’t really looking for a debate I was just genuinely surprised that people think that £1900 is not a lot of money to have as extra (plus or minus bills).

I guess we would be classed on the poorer side but it was just a shock to read that people think they couldn’t live off this!

I know people have different circumstances like house size etc but if it came down to it, houses can be downsized and bills can be reduced.

I guess some of us live in very different worlds 🙈

What were you looking for if not a debate? Be a bit boring if everyone just said yup you're right . Posters have totally different experiences or POV to contribute

Maverickess · 20/03/2023 00:49

Chunkythighss · 20/03/2023 00:27

But surely that’s still a lot of money? Everything in the second half of your list is extras, not really necessary items (maybe the childcare) but TV, gym etc…
they’re all luxury items

One thing I've learned about MN when it comes to income, if you're the 'squeezed middle' then those things are essential and deserved - if you are on a low income in non professional job then they're extravagant luxuries that you have to work hard for and not expect handed to you on a plate, even if you work ft in a job that benefits society with actual physical work rather than the tax tag that comes with a large salary (like a care assistant for example).

Someone asked here a while ago who the squeezed middle are. My reply was that they're the people who have spent years telling people that it's their own fault they're poor because they don't try/work hard enough and preaching about choices and personal responsibility, and now things have got tough enough to affect them, suddenly it's all not fair and nothing to do with choices or personal responsibility.

£1900 is more than I earn a month, I've made my choices within my earnings because I have to and have been roundly slapped down over the years for daring to think I should be paid a wage I can live on no matter what my job. So I have very little sympathy for people in that situation - they will have to do what they're so fond of telling those at the lower end to do - take responsibility and cut their cloth accordingly - but that's only for poor people apparently.

canonlydoblue · 20/03/2023 01:10

Hmmm, after mortgage our essential bills come to £900, then children's clubs £200. That would leave £800 for fuel, groceries and fun. So less than £200 a week. We absolutely couldn't do it.

AskAwayAgain · 20/03/2023 01:13

Gyms are not needed for health reasons. Poorer people like me either walk or do exercises at home. There are lots of online exercise videos, and if you have a specific health reason you are probably doing exercises an NHS physio gave you.
Fifty years ago gyms were masculine places for boxers and similar, at least in the UK. Women did not go to gyms, they still exercised.

Chunkythighss · 20/03/2023 01:16

canonlydoblue · 20/03/2023 01:10

Hmmm, after mortgage our essential bills come to £900, then children's clubs £200. That would leave £800 for fuel, groceries and fun. So less than £200 a week. We absolutely couldn't do it.

I think what I mean is, some people don’t have a choice BUT to live on this.

£800 a month for food, fuel and fun in my house would be like a monthly bonus!

I appreciate that everyone’s lives are different, but some people just have to make this work.

OP posts:
EmmaGrundyForPM · 20/03/2023 01:21

Was it the thread about the huge mortgage?

I think £1900 pcm is tight but doable. The concern on that thread was that the OP had no wiggle room whatsoever. They didn't need to put themselves in that position.

canonlydoblue · 20/03/2023 01:24

@Chunkythighss I understand that and obviously I don't know your family size and circumstances. We live rurally and have a larger than average sized family. Our diesel costs are £100/week and food rarely comes in at less than £150. Most weeks there is very little money left for any fun. I feel very poor.

TheOriginalEmu · 20/03/2023 01:26

Tinkerbyebye · 20/03/2023 00:34

Are they luxury though? How do you know that gym memberships aren’t needed for health reasons? Sky, ok perhaps, childcare is necessity, not a maybe , if they are both working. Cars are probably needed to get to and from work, we don’t know how far and maybe decent cars that don’t break down maybe needed

If they have a 4 bedroom property, kids etc bills are likely to be higher, more food will be eaten, heating etc more

it’s all relative, is there just you? Do you have kids? Can you compare you to them really?

I have 5 kids, single parent, worked full time up until 2 years ago when I developed a neurological condition, still work part time. My car cost me £600 and I’ve driven it for 5 years. Gym is never a necessity, neither is sky, neither are mobile phones on contract.

this list;Electric, water, council tax, phones, oil, gas, health insurance, savings, food, car repayment, lunches, fuel, transport, nursery, there are loads of things. Then stuff like gym, dentist, presents, dry cleaning, holidays, days out, pets, charitable donations, god the list is endless surely

Health insurance, savings, car repayments, lunches, gym, dentist, presents, dry cleaning (!?) charitable donations, holidays…all things you can do without. That loads of us do without.

to live in a world where those are seen as anything but luxury is unfathomable.

transformandriseup · 20/03/2023 01:27

One thing I've learned about MN when it comes to income, if you're the 'squeezed middle' then those things are essential and deserved - if you are on a low income in non professional job then they're extravagant luxuries that you have to work hard for and not expect handed to you on a plate, even if you work ft in a job that benefits society with actual physical work rather than the tax tag that comes with a large salary (like a care assistant for example).

I've made a similar post before as I feel it is true.
Either way just our shopping, council tax, gas/electric, water, broadband and insurances are a £1k per month, I couldn't get them any lower no mater how much we earn. Total outgoings are £2200 and don't have any cars on finance.

TheRealist · 20/03/2023 01:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Yants · 20/03/2023 01:45

It does feel like MN is made up predominantly of two types when it comes to income... high earners and those who know how to fully game the benefits system, particularly when it comes to choosing to work minimal part time hours in order to receive optimum "in work" benefits.

There seems to be very few MN contributors who are out working full time yet only earning just enough to cover all the bills but not entitled to a penny in benefits.