Page 2 | Am I stupidly poor? Or living in the real world?

Chunkythighss · 2023-03-19T23:50:59+00:00

Just off the back of another post… people commenting that they will have to live off £1900 AFTER paying the mortgage and how this is going to be a struggle. nearly £2000 a month extra. This is more than I earn a month and pay rent, bills, etc… yet people are saying they’d struggle to live on this after bills? Am I massively poor or is this normal? 🙈

discobrain · 20/03/2023 01:48

Oh you're not wrong, I've spent a lot of time laughing at some of the moaning about money on here from wealthy people.

They wouldn't last two minutes in the lives of us proles.

discobrain · 20/03/2023 01:49

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Original poster

Chunkythighss · 20/03/2023 01:49

Yants · 20/03/2023 01:45

It does feel like MN is made up predominantly of two types when it comes to income... high earners and those who know how to fully game the benefits system, particularly when it comes to choosing to work minimal part time hours in order to receive optimum "in work" benefits.

There seems to be very few MN contributors who are out working full time yet only earning just enough to cover all the bills but not entitled to a penny in benefits.

You have just described be.
I work full time, yet as entitled to nothing extra.
We have a 1 year old and a baby on the way. I work 8am - 6pm in a job that I have university qualifications for and my husband works part time so he can look after our daughter. We decided to do it this way as I was the higher earner and it just made sense.

We have no spare money left at the end of the month… some months not even enough money for food and we have to use credit cards etc.

This is our reality and I cannot see how it will change any time soon!

OP posts:

Badbudgeter · 20/03/2023 01:50

It sounds like a lot. I have a little bit more than that after the mortgage and it soon goes. My DD list is £880 a month, CT, Electric, home insurance, life insurance, car finance, vehicle tax, car insurance, swimming lessons times 2 . Then I have to buy food for five minimum £400 often more. Petrol is another £250 a month. So that's up to £1530 then you have to tot up school lunches, subs for clubs, often paid termly, clothes, shoes, birthdays. Then obviously paying for stuff that goes wrong, I had to replace the washing machine last month. Paying to repair/ mot vehicle. Maintenance on house. It feels like there is something every month tbh

So somehow £2k a month vanishes into a really standard lifestyle.

OldFan · 20/03/2023 01:54

How do you know that gym memberships aren’t needed for health reasons?

@Tinkerbyebye Exercise doesn't cost anything, we don't have to pay anyone to do it.

I dropped my gym membership and just do free weights at home and other stuff that costs nothing.

BeetlesForever · 20/03/2023 01:55

Health insurance, savings, car repayments, lunches, gym, dentist, presents, dry cleaning (!?) charitable donations, holidays…all things you can do without.

Doing without dentist - seriously?!!

Original poster

Chunkythighss · 20/03/2023 01:58

BeetlesForever · 20/03/2023 01:55

Health insurance, savings, car repayments, lunches, gym, dentist, presents, dry cleaning (!?) charitable donations, holidays…all things you can do without.

Doing without dentist - seriously?!!

Unfortunately this is the reality for people on a lower income!
£50 for someone to look at your teeth for 5 minutes… or £50 worth of food in the fridge. I know what I’d chose

OP posts:

OldFan · 20/03/2023 02:06

some months not even enough money for food and we have to use credit cards etc.

That isn't right @Chunkythighss . Food really is genuinely fairly inexpensive even now, depending how you shop. Using credit cards isn't a good idea.

(I'm disabled and unable to work for life BTW so I live on a fairly low income.)

I would chop up the credit cards, then live within a budget. You can do it.

Does someone in your family have any genuine diagnosed allergies/intolerances etc?

The cheapest way to eat is for those in your family who can tolerate it to eat a lot of beans/pulses. Tinned if you really must but otherwise get dry ones and batch cook (it's worth it.)

Some fruit and veg are cheap like carrot, apple, onion, frozen spinach. Those are good ones as they don't go off quickly.

Some protein powder brands are also surprisingly good value- more so than most protein sources.

Serious protein 4Kg in cookies and cream is my favourite, I even add it to curries. It's an initial outlay but it's well worth it, lasts for ages.

Tinkerbyebye · 20/03/2023 02:10

TheOriginalEmu · 20/03/2023 01:26

I have 5 kids, single parent, worked full time up until 2 years ago when I developed a neurological condition, still work part time. My car cost me £600 and I’ve driven it for 5 years. Gym is never a necessity, neither is sky, neither are mobile phones on contract.

this list;Electric, water, council tax, phones, oil, gas, health insurance, savings, food, car repayment, lunches, fuel, transport, nursery, there are loads of things. Then stuff like gym, dentist, presents, dry cleaning, holidays, days out, pets, charitable donations, god the list is endless surely

Health insurance, savings, car repayments, lunches, gym, dentist, presents, dry cleaning (!?) charitable donations, holidays…all things you can do without. That loads of us do without.

to live in a world where those are seen as anything but luxury is unfathomable.

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Good for you. But that’s you. How do you know the phones were on contract? And in fact it could be cheaper on contract, and as lots don’t have landline phones are a necessity.

i can’t be bothered to argue the rest this late, but remember everyone is different, people live to the money they get in, then find it difficult when bills go up, no matter if you get £200pw or £1000 pw

its all relative, sone people have a higher income than me, some lower, some find things necessary I wouldn’t, each to their own

OldFan · 20/03/2023 02:10

Unfortunately this is the reality for people on a lower income! £50 for someone to look at your teeth for 5 minutes… or £50 worth of food in the fridge. I know what I’d chose

@Chunkythighss I suppose a lot of people don't go unless they have an issue. But £50 every 6 months isn't much, it really isn't. Less than £10 a month.

I'm sure we could all give you some ideas if you gave us more details.

Fuckityfuckfuck123 · 20/03/2023 02:11

Tbh it's not that much.
We need about 2k to cover the monthly bills, don't have sky, don't have gym memberships, don't have any real luxuries or even clubs that we pay for out of that.
Food costs about £100 a week, often more as we have a 10 month old who can drink upto 1.5 tins of milk a week, which costs about £30. I will say that our bills are probably on the higher side because I have health issues that mean I both use additional water, and electricity and gas. I use medical devices over night, can't get too cold or I get chest infection after chest infection, my physical health issues triggered health anxiety and OCD which means I shower up to 6 times a day.

LovingACountryBoy · 20/03/2023 02:13

Depending on their outgoings, it may be a struggle. I wouldn’t want to live on that after mortgage payments. Our bills aren’t far off that much so there wouldn’t be much left for food, clothes, birthdays, xmas etc. Some people may be paying childcare.

That doesn’t mean we couldn’t cut back on lots of things if we had to but even then I don’t think it’s that much to live on if you have 2/3 kids and a dog which is a ‘normal’ sized family.

Food costs are obviously massive, my partner works from home but some people have huge travel costs and parking for work, (we used to spend hundreds on petrol, parking and trains) gas/electricity, council tax, insurances etc. 3 of our kitchen appliances needed replacing within 6 months of each other last year. We’ll be helping 2 kids through uni, yes they’ll work part time but will still need hundreds per month to help with accommodation.

We’re very fortunate financially, we don’t have to worry, but it’s not hard to see how £2k can be spent easily on a fairly normal lifestyle.

Domino20 · 20/03/2023 02:16

Maverickess · 20/03/2023 00:49

One thing I've learned about MN when it comes to income, if you're the 'squeezed middle' then those things are essential and deserved - if you are on a low income in non professional job then they're extravagant luxuries that you have to work hard for and not expect handed to you on a plate, even if you work ft in a job that benefits society with actual physical work rather than the tax tag that comes with a large salary (like a care assistant for example).

Someone asked here a while ago who the squeezed middle are. My reply was that they're the people who have spent years telling people that it's their own fault they're poor because they don't try/work hard enough and preaching about choices and personal responsibility, and now things have got tough enough to affect them, suddenly it's all not fair and nothing to do with choices or personal responsibility.

£1900 is more than I earn a month, I've made my choices within my earnings because I have to and have been roundly slapped down over the years for daring to think I should be paid a wage I can live on no matter what my job. So I have very little sympathy for people in that situation - they will have to do what they're so fond of telling those at the lower end to do - take responsibility and cut their cloth accordingly - but that's only for poor people apparently.

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Your first paragraph is SPOT ON!

steff13 · 20/03/2023 02:17

bloodywhitecat · 19/03/2023 23:56

Living off £1900 after the mortgage or living off £1900 after all bills? They are two very different things.

Yeah, exactly. I have about $3500 left after my mortgage. That has to cover everything else though.

Domino20 · 20/03/2023 02:18

Domino20 · 20/03/2023 02:16

Your first paragraph is SPOT ON!

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Ooops, I got excited as you had encapsulated my thoughts so eloquently. The whole post is fabulous x

OldFan · 20/03/2023 02:21

Food costs are obviously massive

There's only me, but my food bill is about £20 a week (or can be if needed) and that's with a bit of smoked salmon involved for the omega 3s.

LovingACountryBoy · 20/03/2023 02:33

OldFan · 20/03/2023 02:21

Food costs are obviously massive

There's only me, but my food bill is about £20 a week (or can be if needed) and that's with a bit of smoked salmon involved for the omega 3s.

I think the post the OP refers to is a couple with kids. You’re not feeding 4/5 people on £20 a week unfortunately. And childcare, holiday clubs, activities clothing for growing kids, school trips, birthdays, Xmas... they all add up with kids.

Obviously people who live alone often can’t benefit as much from bulk buying and font have an option of a second persons income so not saying that’s easy either. I think lots of people are struggling and it’s not difficult to see why.

LovingACountryBoy · 20/03/2023 02:38

I don’t think I could feed just me on £20 a week though. I’d spend £10 on fruit, oat milk and a loaf of bread without even thinking about meals.

theblackradiator · 20/03/2023 02:38

Maverickess · 20/03/2023 00:49

One thing I've learned about MN when it comes to income, if you're the 'squeezed middle' then those things are essential and deserved - if you are on a low income in non professional job then they're extravagant luxuries that you have to work hard for and not expect handed to you on a plate, even if you work ft in a job that benefits society with actual physical work rather than the tax tag that comes with a large salary (like a care assistant for example).

Someone asked here a while ago who the squeezed middle are. My reply was that they're the people who have spent years telling people that it's their own fault they're poor because they don't try/work hard enough and preaching about choices and personal responsibility, and now things have got tough enough to affect them, suddenly it's all not fair and nothing to do with choices or personal responsibility.

£1900 is more than I earn a month, I've made my choices within my earnings because I have to and have been roundly slapped down over the years for daring to think I should be paid a wage I can live on no matter what my job. So I have very little sympathy for people in that situation - they will have to do what they're so fond of telling those at the lower end to do - take responsibility and cut their cloth accordingly - but that's only for poor people apparently.

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Great Post.

Novatherova · 20/03/2023 02:52

No they're the not normal ones. They have no idea what cost of living actually is.

Ignore them. Hope you're OK. Sending love x and I'm the same.

mishmased · 20/03/2023 03:25

But this is about a family trying to sort out their expenses and check against potential mortgage payments. Our household expenses are more than 2k a month after mortgage payments. This is for our family, others may be higher or lower, everyone is different. Why this comes as a surprise to you is ridiculous.

begoneday · 20/03/2023 03:34

Maverickess · 20/03/2023 00:49

One thing I've learned about MN when it comes to income, if you're the 'squeezed middle' then those things are essential and deserved - if you are on a low income in non professional job then they're extravagant luxuries that you have to work hard for and not expect handed to you on a plate, even if you work ft in a job that benefits society with actual physical work rather than the tax tag that comes with a large salary (like a care assistant for example).

Someone asked here a while ago who the squeezed middle are. My reply was that they're the people who have spent years telling people that it's their own fault they're poor because they don't try/work hard enough and preaching about choices and personal responsibility, and now things have got tough enough to affect them, suddenly it's all not fair and nothing to do with choices or personal responsibility.

£1900 is more than I earn a month, I've made my choices within my earnings because I have to and have been roundly slapped down over the years for daring to think I should be paid a wage I can live on no matter what my job. So I have very little sympathy for people in that situation - they will have to do what they're so fond of telling those at the lower end to do - take responsibility and cut their cloth accordingly - but that's only for poor people apparently.

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Maverick is spot on! A lot of the squeezed middle refuse to see their outgoings as luxuries . They’ll also deny that their huge mortgage was a choice. They couldn’t possibly have a smaller house, cheaper car etc but will also tell poorer people to budget better. The lack of self awareness is hilarious.

HelloBunny · 20/03/2023 03:43

Many of the extras mentioned are luxuries. I can’t afford to send my son back to swimming. Rent, food, bills. No car / TV / social life. Things will get better. But this is it for now.

HelloBunny · 20/03/2023 03:46

DH is talking about a holiday this year... But it’s not going to happen.

Slimemonster · 20/03/2023 03:55

It still shocks me every day to see on here the amount of people who earn over 50k each(!) a year.
Seems so unreachable to my household. Often described as 'good income' too, when really they mean 'bloody excellent'
We both work, him F/T me P/T around the (paid for) childcare and total household income is barely scraping £30k.
Can only dream of leaving the private rental sector or joining the property ladder, or even retiring in my lifetime.
It's interesting though, that I also read lots of large figure inheritance issues on here - something I definitely won't have to deal with, seems awful to go through that at the same time as bereavement. 💐
There are 'swings and roundabouts' to household incomes for sure.
But I hear you.