People obsessed with labels

[elzober]

I've had conversations and seen a lot of social posts recently where people seem so wrapped up in their own labels: non-binary, vegan, neurodiverse etc

I get that these things are part of peoples identity and they want to discuss them but it seems to be all they can talk about and completely defines them.

Non-binary friend brings every topic of conversation back to being non binary. Neurodiverse colleague talks of nothing else at work and don't get me started on vegan family member

AIBU to think people are so obsessed with these labels and seem to construct their entire sense of self around them?

People love labels.

I even saw a woman wearing an ‘Adult Human Female’ tshirt last week.

I find it very infantilising like we are all teenagers.

The latter are modern day pseudo religious evangelicals.

The former are often a mix. There are some who need the label to access help / navigate life but there are also some who act like the latter group.

Once you understand that, it makes a lot more sense.

I think humans often need some sort of cause / religion to give them purpose in life. Often communities centre on these idea so identity becomes a collective response.

But like any evangelical, if someone spends their time trying to convert or recruit you and has no respect for you being you and not wanting to follow then they quickly become tedious, irritating and pushy. It's a failure to recognise boundaries and respect the word 'no' .

Do not like this post. I really wish people would stop sneering at people with diagnoses of ND - you wouldn’t be so shitty about about people pursuing a diagnosis of a physical condition that affects how they function in the world.

Too fucking right. Autism has a gigantic effect on my life.

I don’t think ‘non binary’ is a label? It’s also a state that things are in. Not like véganisme which is in your control.

I'm always surprised after spending too much time on mumsnet that people IRL don't define themselves by their gender critical beliefs. I don't believe twaw but I don't eat sleep and breathe it like people do on here.

I guess it depends how critical it is to your life, or how damaging individuals feel it is to global social dynamics - this will definitely influence how vocal and campaigning you are about it.
If I was an athlete or sportswoman, or the mother of one, I'd be furious and wouldn't stop till it was sorted out. If I was a female prisoner or a relative of one I'd be really worried for their safety. If I had under 18 daughters instead of sons I'd be loathe to let them go in women's changing rooms on their own at the moment.
So it's all dependent on so many factors.
Also I might get fired if I went on and on about it in real life.

I'm always surprised after spending too much time on mumsnet that people IRL don't define themselves by their gender critical beliefs.

IRL there is no need to, you'd assume everyone has common sense, unless you're surrounded with a sort of people who wear their pronouns.

I even saw a woman wearing an ‘Adult Human Female’ tshirt last week.

It's a political statement.

I guess it depends how critical it is to your life, or how damaging individuals feel it is to global social dynamics - this will definitely influence how vocal and campaigning you are about it.

Of course and that's fair. Campaigning is useful, reasonable and also fair. However, I am talking about the people on here who shoehorn it into absolutely everything.

I'm always surprised after spending too much time on mumsnet that people IRL don't define themselves by their gender critical beliefs. I don't believe twaw but I don't eat sleep and breathe it like people do on here.

Presumably that's because they come onto MN to discuss it - it's something that many people wouldn't feel comfortable to talk about irl. It's not necessarily that they eat, sleep and breathe it at all. It's just the only context in which you see those people. I am full-on gc and feel strongly about it. Only about 3 people irl know that.

There are certain things that are taboo and it's difficult to talk about in real life.

I suspect people talk more about things like miscarriage and abuse on MN than in real life.

All too often these issues are taboo because they affect women more.

Make of that what you will.

Yeah I think I might have worded my post poorly because I think it makes sense to talk about it on an internet forum where there are topics dedicated especially to it. I just see it pop up on threads that have absolutely nothing to do with the trans issue.

I suppose it depends how the individuals concerned behave.

Person A is vegan/identifies as non binary/ has seen something on TikTok and now identifies as ND / supports this political party or cause and they manage to turn every conversation back to their label . = Probably quite tiresome to be around because it's exhausting being around. They probably behave in a similar way to people whose whole identity is tied up in how wacky/quirky/random they are.

Person B is vegan/have a religious dietary requirement/diagnosed as ND/is whatever sexuality they are, is getting on with their life, it will come up sometimes in conversation (eg that was quite overwhelming for me, because I'm ND I find that sort sensory thing quite hard / does that cafe have many vegan options before we book/I met a great woman at the weekend and we clicked) = they're probably going to be easy to get along with and not annoying at all because their label is part of them, but they have a whole personality and sense of self outside of it as well.

Maybe person A has chosen to be vegan/ND/Christian ect and person B is living as those things?
I find this hard as somethings like those vegan ect are clearly a choice (no one is born a vegan for example) but some of those things like ND/Christian or sexuality you might be just born into. There isn’t anything you can do so you just live your life as it should be.

Maybe person A has chosen to be vegan/ND/Christian ect and person B is living as those things?
I find this hard as somethings like those vegan ect are clearly a choice (no one is born a vegan for example) but some of those things like ND/Christian or sexuality you might be just born into.
There isn’t anything you can do so you just live your life as it should be

I sort of see what you mean. It was a clumsy illustration on my part.

I was trying (badly it seems), to show how two people might have various labels, but one is annoying, bangs on about it at every opportunity and me-rails the conversation back to whatever label, whereas another might also have labels and it comes up in conversation but isn't annoying because they have a whole personality that happens to include the label.
So it isn't the label that's the annoying thing. It's the person's outlook and need to make sure everyone is regularly reminded to focus on them.