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Original poster

To be sick of random men thinking they can just be twats to women?

57 replies

SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 19/03/2023 15:01

I have name changed for this as I will probably rant about it to friends and on a FB group I'm on, too.

I just went into town and was being served at the till, and was chatting to the woman whilst she served me. She said the word 'shit' during our conversation then said 'oops sorry for swearing' and I said 'Oh don't worry, I work with all men so there's loads of swearing at my work', which is true; I do work with all men on my team and there is a lot of bad language, which I couldn't give a shit about and often join in with.

A random man walking past the til turned round and said to me 'You CAN'T say that'. I have had more than enough of 'ignoring' random mens' comments so I replied 'I can say that. I just did say that. I can say anything I want, thanks'. He was visibly shocked and annoyed that I'd dare to answer him back. I am certain he would not have said a thing if my 6ft 3 husband was with me at the time. I only ever get these comments when I'm on my own. I didn't even say anything bad, it's not like I said 'All men are bastards and rape women'

I also work with a couple of men (not on my team, luckily) who clearly do not like women, as they will go out of their way in meetings to argue against anything I say, and to 'prove me wrong', whilst if a male colleague says the same thing, even in the same meeting, they couldn't agree more and are falling over themselves to back said male up.

I just get so many seemingly minor incidences of men thinking they can just be twats to women and I'm sick of it!

OP posts:
tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 19/03/2023 15:56

Hopefully OP this young man was also spending his time policing the vocabulary choices and low level sexism of his male counterparts.

Because whilst loads some posters will point out that what you have said is sexist and generalising, the tirade of everyday sexism and misogyny that many girls and women put up with is way more harmful.

Once men like this one are regularly calling this out and society becomes a nicer place for females I shall come back and lecture you on double standards, women can be worse etc.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 19/03/2023 15:59

I say this having just last week had a random twat at a petrol station scream at me "move your car I'm in a F'ing rush you stupid bitch" while I was on the actual process of moving my car for him Confused

Ludo19 · 19/03/2023 16:01

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 19/03/2023 15:59

I say this having just last week had a random twat at a petrol station scream at me "move your car I'm in a F'ing rush you stupid bitch" while I was on the actual process of moving my car for him Confused

Wow.....what a wanker. Would he have spoken to a man like that? I think not!

Original poster
SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 19/03/2023 16:04

I didn't mention it in my OP as didn't want to be called ageist but he was a man in his late sixties I'd say. Seemed a real 'authority' type who was probably an office manager with a typing pool of women he lorded over every day

OP posts:
tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 19/03/2023 16:05

Ludo absolutely

Iudncuewbccgrcb · 19/03/2023 16:05

I was thinking the same thing last week

I had been helping at a school event and was 'cashing up' the takings from my stall under my breath, random man walks past and starts saying random numbers to put me off and laughs. No one else there but me and him.

he totally wouldn't have done that if I was a bloke.

younger me would have nervously laughed and he would have got the attention he wanted.

Tired mum me who frankly had better things to be doing than helping out at a school event (where the only other volunteers were all mums, all the dads seemed to be exempt) barely even gave him a side eye as I carried on counting and he shuffled off embarrassed to have been ignored.

Original poster
SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 19/03/2023 16:08

Whenever a random man says twatty comments to me I'm always alone and never with my husband.

OP posts:
stbrandonsboat · 19/03/2023 16:17

It's because they're evolved from chickens. If you watch a cockerel in a farmyard, he spends his time 'supervising' his hens. He noses into everything they do and will interfere if one does anything he doesn't approve of. He's also noisy and bossy and will become aggressive if challenged. They have very small brains and mainly act on instinct.

They don't interfere with the geese though.

They generally belong in the pot 😋

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 19/03/2023 16:32

Yesterday morning I was at a bus stop, saw the bus approaching and stuck out my hand to hail it. Some random bloke walking past said in a mocking falsetto voice "ooh, bus will you stop for me please."

I ignored him but wtf?

Don't know why men see women doing perfectly normal things like catching a bus and feel the need to try to make us feel stupid.

GoodChat · 19/03/2023 16:34

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 19/03/2023 15:59

I say this having just last week had a random twat at a petrol station scream at me "move your car I'm in a F'ing rush you stupid bitch" while I was on the actual process of moving my car for him Confused

I'd have definitely changed my mind about moving.

Justleaveitblankthen · 19/03/2023 16:34

They start young too.

My sister lives on an Estate, likes to run and cycle and says there has never been a single day when a teenager/early 20's showing off to his cronies, doesn't make some sexist, derogatory comment. 🙄

GoodChat · 19/03/2023 16:35

I don't know, OP. I was on your side immediately when I read this but if it was a male customer making a generalised comment about women do a male cashier would you have been bothered by it?

The men you work with sound like bellends though.

Original poster
SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 19/03/2023 16:51

@GoodChat I certainly wouldn't have jumped into the conversation like he did! I really don't think what I said was that bad. I was saying what it's like at my workplace.

I just feel that he wouldn't have jumped into a man's conversation like he did.

OP posts:
Deathbyfluffy · 19/03/2023 16:56

Awful lot of nonsense in this thread - arseholes are out there in both male and female form.
I was once shouted at when filling my car by a woman because ‘getting a full tank was making her late’ - she’d obviously just stopped to splash a tenner in, but I was filling my van to the brim. I took a lot longer than I would have done usually after that… (I’m a man)

Likewise I’ve had abuse off other men in similar situations.
Men aren’t the problem, arseholes are - and they exist in all forms.

SpudsandGravy · 19/03/2023 16:57

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 19/03/2023 15:56

Hopefully OP this young man was also spending his time policing the vocabulary choices and low level sexism of his male counterparts.

Because whilst loads some posters will point out that what you have said is sexist and generalising, the tirade of everyday sexism and misogyny that many girls and women put up with is way more harmful.

Once men like this one are regularly calling this out and society becomes a nicer place for females I shall come back and lecture you on double standards, women can be worse etc.

It's not sexist, at any level, to report facts accurately. If OP works with a lot of men who swear a lot at work, and says so, then she's simply reporting a fact. Might be different if she had commented on men in general, rather than her particular experience.

Deathbyfluffy · 19/03/2023 16:58

SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 19/03/2023 16:51

@GoodChat I certainly wouldn't have jumped into the conversation like he did! I really don't think what I said was that bad. I was saying what it's like at my workplace.

I just feel that he wouldn't have jumped into a man's conversation like he did.

You’ll probably find he would have done no matter who you are, and he’s just a dick.
There’s arseholes everywhere and it’s not healthy to incorrectly assume it’s because of their gender - they’re just arseholes.

ExpatInSlavikLand · 19/03/2023 16:59

SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 19/03/2023 16:08

Whenever a random man says twatty comments to me I'm always alone and never with my husband.

Funny, that...

Iudncuewbccgrcb · 19/03/2023 17:02

Deathbyfluffy · 19/03/2023 16:56

Awful lot of nonsense in this thread - arseholes are out there in both male and female form.
I was once shouted at when filling my car by a woman because ‘getting a full tank was making her late’ - she’d obviously just stopped to splash a tenner in, but I was filling my van to the brim. I took a lot longer than I would have done usually after that… (I’m a man)

Likewise I’ve had abuse off other men in similar situations.
Men aren’t the problem, arseholes are - and they exist in all forms.

Ooh thank you random man for popping by to tell us women our regular experiences of unwanted and uninvited comments from men aren't valid just because someone who wasn't a man was rude to you once.

Kind of proving the thread for us !

FionnulaTheCooler · 19/03/2023 17:05

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 19/03/2023 16:32

Yesterday morning I was at a bus stop, saw the bus approaching and stuck out my hand to hail it. Some random bloke walking past said in a mocking falsetto voice "ooh, bus will you stop for me please."

I ignored him but wtf?

Don't know why men see women doing perfectly normal things like catching a bus and feel the need to try to make us feel stupid.

I pictured Jay from the inbetweeners when I was reading that. Seems like the same maturity level. Some pathetic creatures just never grow out of attention seeking knobbery.

Topseyt123 · 19/03/2023 17:06

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 19/03/2023 15:59

I say this having just last week had a random twat at a petrol station scream at me "move your car I'm in a F'ing rush you stupid bitch" while I was on the actual process of moving my car for him Confused

That would most likely have stopped me in my tracks and I would have stayed firmly put if I could have. I wouldn't have wanted to move my car for him after that tirade.

ExpatInSlavikLand · 19/03/2023 17:07

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 19/03/2023 16:32

Yesterday morning I was at a bus stop, saw the bus approaching and stuck out my hand to hail it. Some random bloke walking past said in a mocking falsetto voice "ooh, bus will you stop for me please."

I ignored him but wtf?

Don't know why men see women doing perfectly normal things like catching a bus and feel the need to try to make us feel stupid.

Incels live amongst us, remember.

Men like him (and I use the term 'men' very loosely) are just pissed off that we otherwise inconsequential females don't understand how inconsequential we are and aren't falling over ourselves to attract their attention and gain their approval, hence their shouting random rude things at us to embarrass us in public or being nasty to those of us unfortunate enough to have to deal with them in customer service settings...

AmandaHoldensLips · 19/03/2023 17:08

I can't help myself. Any comment from a random man is met with a loud "THANK YOU RANDOM MAN FOR YOUR VALUABLE INPUT".

ExpatInSlavikLand · 19/03/2023 17:09

Deathbyfluffy · 19/03/2023 16:56

Awful lot of nonsense in this thread - arseholes are out there in both male and female form.
I was once shouted at when filling my car by a woman because ‘getting a full tank was making her late’ - she’d obviously just stopped to splash a tenner in, but I was filling my van to the brim. I took a lot longer than I would have done usually after that… (I’m a man)

Likewise I’ve had abuse off other men in similar situations.
Men aren’t the problem, arseholes are - and they exist in all forms.

I worked in various customer service roles from age 17 to 22.

Almost every single nasty, abusive customer I ever had was a man.

Funny, that.

namitynamechange · 19/03/2023 17:10

GoodChat · 19/03/2023 16:35

I don't know, OP. I was on your side immediately when I read this but if it was a male customer making a generalised comment about women do a male cashier would you have been bothered by it?

The men you work with sound like bellends though.

Nah - its not like she said ALL men swear. But men do swear (on average) more than women. Especially in an environment that is mostly other men. There are computer programmes that tell you the likelihood of a written text being male/female and that's one of the cues they use.

Besides "swearing a lot" isn't even a massively negative stereotype. Its like saying "lots of women in my office so there's always a big fuss when someone brings in a baby". Because women do tend to fuss about babies more than men.

DannyZukosSmile · 19/03/2023 17:12

Iudncuewbccgrcb · 19/03/2023 17:02

Ooh thank you random man for popping by to tell us women our regular experiences of unwanted and uninvited comments from men aren't valid just because someone who wasn't a man was rude to you once.

Kind of proving the thread for us !

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