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To be so annoyed at DH. Not Mother’s Day related

77 replies

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 19/03/2023 12:42

So yesterday my ds took me out for brunch. While we’re out dh said that he was hungry and wanted to get a kebab. This was a few hours later and we had been drinking. Ds’s are both adults.
dd was at home alone and so we decided we should go back and get something to eat with her. Dh still saying he was paying at this point.
get home and decide to Deliveroo burgers. I didn’t get anything as wasn’t hungry. The Deliveroo account is on my phone so dh said order it and he would pay me back.
just looked at my account and he hasn’t transferred the cash so asked him and he said he didn’t have any money to pay me back with!

am I being unreasonable to be cross? If he had said he didn’t have any money I would have made them food as we had plenty on the house. Food shop arrived yesterday morning.

we have money for bills etc but often money is tight for treats and we’ve had a couple of birthdays this month. I’ve now got to cancel getting my eyebrows done as I now don’t have the cash to do that. He doesn’t get the issue.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


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UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 21/03/2023 07:50

Yes we have a joint savings account and until I found his secret account I would do things like transfer any money left over from my pocket money at the end of the month to the joint savings account but haven’t done that for months now.
so I’m not always this tight on cash but have had Christmas then ds2 21st birthday and then dds 17th.

the more I think about our relationship thr more unbalanced it seems. It’s my birthday next month but I know if I want to do anything I will have to arrange it. That would obviously come out of the joint account. I just often use my pocket money to top up with things like extra Christmas presents and taking the dc out for a lunch as well as the birthday meal which would come out of joint funds.

maybe I’m just a more generous person by nature and would give my last £ if it made someone happy or helped them out. Until you take the piss then I’m not so generous.

OP posts:

bussteward · 21/03/2023 08:04

Smoking is his choice, though! Why don’t you get more pocket money because you get your eyebrows done and he doesn’t? You should both have equal pocket money, and choose what to spend it on: if he spends all his on cigarettes, that’s his problem.

Stop agreeing to being taken out for breakfast or coffee, stop agreeing to takeaways. Make him pay his share of DD costs. And address the pocket money imbalance.

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