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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry I’ve let my mum down (Mother’s Day related)

53 replies

bodmas6 · 19/03/2023 08:42

I didn’t send my mum a card in time for Mother’s Day, so I emailed her a £25 M&S voucher this morning instead.

In my defense I’ve had a lot on my mind recently with work (a contract is ending soon and I’m struggling to find a new job). My mum isn’t aware of this.

If you were my mum would you be disappointed not to get a card? I’m worried I’ve let her down.

OP posts:
SophieJo · 19/03/2023 08:46

Yes.

NotJohnWick · 19/03/2023 08:47

Probably, to be honest. Phone her and talk to her.

happystory · 19/03/2023 08:48

You can send animated E cards...

Smartiepants79 · 19/03/2023 08:49

Phone her. Explain, apologise.
Honestly, yes I’d be disappointed that my adult child hadn’t managed to send a card but she’ll already know that cos there’s not post on Sunday!
Mums tend to be forgiving though so I’m sure there’ll be no lasting damage.
You must ring her though, promise to make it up next time you see her.

AuntieMarys · 19/03/2023 08:49

It really wouldn't bother me at all

happystory · 19/03/2023 08:49

Jacqui Lawson does sweet ones

Eranzer · 19/03/2023 08:50

No, I really would not care about a card.

Biggiee · 19/03/2023 08:50

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

SomePeopleAreJustBloodyStupid · 19/03/2023 08:51

Mother's Day has been advertised everywhere for weeks, so I would be disappointed if I didn't get a card, yes.

lap90 · 19/03/2023 08:51

You haven't let her down.

Maybe send her an E-Card?

Overthebow · 19/03/2023 08:51

Send her an e-card now! You can make personalised ones on Moonpig and they arrive straight away.

Queryer · 19/03/2023 08:51

I wouldn’t be disappointed. If it helps you can borrow my excuse - Moonpig couldn’t ship the order in time so the card will arrive later? (it did arrive in the end but they didn’t post until Friday so I wasn’t hopeful) Then say you cancelled it and bought one or design one today and it should be with her on Tuesday.
One year I got a cute pop-out card for Mum but didn’t sign it and got berated for that but the card spoke for itself I thought.
I’m afraid it depends whether it’s usual for your mum to guilt you over things like this
( it is for mine and the mother figures around me!)

ManyMaybes · 19/03/2023 08:53

Mother’s Day is just another opportunity for people to be disappointed (and for some people they are waiting for the opportunity to be disappointed and moan).

It’s just an arbitrary day that means nothing to anybody’s actual life. If you have a good relationship with someone then what does one forgotten card even matter?

Original poster
bodmas6 · 19/03/2023 08:54

The thing is it might look a little odd to send her an e-card now, because I already wrote a Happy Mother’s Day message with the voucher.

OP posts:
Biggiee · 19/03/2023 09:00

You don't need to send her an e-card. Anyone who would be disappointed receiving a £25 gift voucher and no card is just being ungrateful.

jackstini · 19/03/2023 09:00

Call her!
The no card is not great, but sending a voucher without calling is very impersonal

Original poster
bodmas6 · 19/03/2023 09:01

Yes, I’m going to call her as well. Not looking forward to it though as I feel so bad about the card!

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 19/03/2023 09:05

My mum and I wouldnt care. My grandmother on the other hand would care massively, even if you spent all day with her and bought her presents she only really wanted a card - no idea why. So you know your mum, how would she feel?

Do make sure you ring and have a good chat if you can't see her in person.

Skyeheather · 19/03/2023 09:06

Yes I'd be disappointed, Mother's Day cards have been on sale since the day after Valentines Day - have you not been in a supermarket since then?

At least you didn't forget completely and sent her something. I'd go out today and see if there's any cards left or send one via Moonpig.

Whatthefnow · 19/03/2023 09:06

Oh op, don't worry.

The fact that you're worried says to me that you must be a lovely daughter and you've probably never really let her down.

Ring her, that's all mums want on mother's Day, to be thought of and made to feel special and you can easily do that with a phone call

Emmamoo89 · 19/03/2023 09:07

No don't worry about it x

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 19/03/2023 09:08

Fuck sake no.

All these people "waaaah I didn't get a card", why can't mums just be happy with their kids being healthy & happy? It's a piece of cardboard.

GaspingGekko · 19/03/2023 09:12

Mumsnet can't answer this for you. There are such a range of opinions, from people who place huge significance on cards to those who see them as bad for the planet.
Likewise for mother's day, plenty eho see it as another manufactured hallmark day and those who expect to be completely spoilt for the day.
Only you know where your mum lies on the scale.

Call her, explain what's happened and let her know how much you live her and appreciate her.

ETref · 19/03/2023 09:14

I can't imagine my mum caring about something like this. She'd be chuffed with the voucher, appreciate a phone call and laugh when I told her I'd forgotten to send a card. I don't remember the last time I sent my mum a birthday or mothers day card, it's been e-gift cards or amazon parcels for years.

Honestly I cba with people who get arsy over stuff like this. It's really not a big deal. If you just completely ignored mothers day without showing her any love or appreciation at all then I could understand why she would be upset. But you've sent her a voucher and will speak to her on the phone, it's fine.

gettingoldisshit · 19/03/2023 09:16

No I wouldn't be disappointed! I would much prefer the voucher to a card! Cards are bad for the environment anyway.

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