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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry I’ve let my mum down (Mother’s Day related)

53 replies

bodmas6 · 19/03/2023 08:42

I didn’t send my mum a card in time for Mother’s Day, so I emailed her a £25 M&S voucher this morning instead.

In my defense I’ve had a lot on my mind recently with work (a contract is ending soon and I’m struggling to find a new job). My mum isn’t aware of this.

If you were my mum would you be disappointed not to get a card? I’m worried I’ve let her down.

OP posts:
Sassypants82 · 19/03/2023 09:16

I would not be bothered at all, call her though.

lucysfriendlyfoods · 19/03/2023 09:17

No card here from 16yr old - got a oh yes happy Mother's Day when I mentioned the card/flowers I sent my mum. I know she's that age but feel a bit sad

recklessgran · 19/03/2023 09:20

Ah bless you OP of course you haven't let your Mum down - you've acknowledged the day and given her a generous gift which she can enjoy spending on herself. I'm a Mum of 5 girls and frankly think Mother's Day is a load of commercialised nonsense. I'm a Mum every day and don't feel I need a special day to acknowledge that - in any case my own mother makes such a song and dance of today that in fact I've never bothered with it myself. I'm cooking a big roast beef dinner and expect 2 or 3 of mine will turn up and we'll have a lovely meal together and a catch up. They will probably bring daffodils as they know how much I love that particular flower. They also know that I have zero expectation of them today. Why not just give your Mum a call and have a chat - I'm looking forward to having a couple of catch up calls with the daughters I won't see today who I hope will be able to enjoy their own Mother's Day without worrying about me!

Noicant · 19/03/2023 09:21

I’d be happier with a voucher than a card.

DustyLee123 · 19/03/2023 09:24

I’m not too fussed about a card. I’d rather see my children in person than have a card/pressie.

BellePeppa · 19/03/2023 09:24

I personally wouldn’t be bothered (told mine not bother with a card) but my own mum would be very disappointed not to get a card from me.

thebear1 · 19/03/2023 09:25

You thought about her, so if I was her that is what matters so I would not be upset. I'd rather have the voucher than a card!

Womencanlift · 19/03/2023 09:26

There seems to be a lot of angst around Mothers Day this year going by threads on MN.

Personal contact whether be by phone or in person would matter a lot more to me than a piece of card

My own mum went on holiday on Thursday so told us not to bother with anything for Mother’s Day. I did send some flowers last week so she would have something before she went away but didn’t send a card. Will FaceTime her later

AcornGreen · 19/03/2023 09:26

If a M&S gift card isn’t good enough for her then I really wouldn’t bother with what she thinks.

Allschoolsareartschools · 19/03/2023 09:27

Well it totally depends on how your mum feels about cards.
If you know she'll be disappointed then you could've got organised a bit earlier, they've been in the shops for weeks after all.
If she won't mind then it's not an issue!

Ariela · 19/03/2023 09:32

The Jacqui Lawson ecards are really great.
Why don't you phone her? Can you go see her for a surprise visit?

TheClash2023 · 19/03/2023 09:34

I'd love the voucher. Wouldn't care about the card to be honest

Smartiepants79 · 19/03/2023 09:36

AcornGreen · 19/03/2023 09:26

If a M&S gift card isn’t good enough for her then I really wouldn’t bother with what she thinks.

I think the point would be that the OP only just remembered to send anything at all in the last 24 hours.
As it is often said on here, it is about the thought that has been put into the giving rather than the gift itself.
The gift card is a great gift but has been bought in a fit of last minute guilt because the OP had forgotten.

determinedtomakethiswork · 19/03/2023 09:37

You've remembered her, that is what matters. I think it does depend though on what your relationship is like with her.

hairypaws · 19/03/2023 09:59

I wouldn't care. I didn't get a card today but we don't really bother with anniversaries, mother's/father's day. I suppose it depends on what is usual for the day but I'm sure she will understand.

Holly60 · 19/03/2023 10:02

bodmas6 · 19/03/2023 09:01

Yes, I’m going to call her as well. Not looking forward to it though as I feel so bad about the card!

Call her. Don't feel bad - she won't care about the card as long as she hears from you and knows you are thinking about her today

Thisismeyeah · 19/03/2023 10:04

If you think she would be hugely disappointed go out buy a card and post it today. It wont arrive until Tuesday but deny all knowledge and blame royal mail.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 19/03/2023 10:04

Ring her and explain. She’ll be more concerned you haven’t shared how stressed you are.

WindowGazers · 19/03/2023 10:07

People saying that cards have been on sale for weeks... How the hell did I not know it was mother's day until my son's nursery handed me a card on Friday? I literally had no idea mother's day was coming. My mum and I thankfully decided that we celebrate each other on IWD and have fucked mother's day right off.

Curseofthenation · 19/03/2023 10:11

I really wouldn't be bothered but my mum would. I'm sure a phone call will make up for not getting a card.

glitterisntgendered · 19/03/2023 10:26

I'd much rather get a phone call than a card. But as someone else said, mumsnet can't answer this, everyone is different.

I'd hate for my child to be so worried about a piece of card, but I'm not your mum so I can't say

NameChangeFor2023 · 19/03/2023 10:44

I would. But only because it's one of my DC's first Mother's Day.

When they're adults and moved away, not so much, I don't think.

My mum would be sad if she didn't get a card. But a late card wouldn't bother her if we lived far away and didn't post on time.

dottiedodah · 19/03/2023 11:37

I would be well happy with that! Honestly wouldnt mind .She can treat herself in M and S ! My fave shop .

chesterelly1 · 19/03/2023 11:50

Call her and explain. Even on Mothers Day, although as a Mum you're meant to be the one being spoiled (according to the marketing hype) you'd still want to know if your child was struggling in any way. My DD has come home from uni to see me. The plan was for her to cook a Sunday Roast but she has a stinking cold so we'll be doing it together. Is my Mothers Day ruined? Has she let me down? Absolutely not because we are there for each other. Just so long as she keeps her germs to herself.

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 19/03/2023 11:58

But you have time to come on here to moan about it? 🙄