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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it normal not to have a next date organised?

65 replies

hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 22:31

Been seeing a guy for about six weeks.

Me - what are you doing his weekend
Him - described what he was doing
Me -thinking why aren't you asking me back what I'm doing this weekend

So we haven't arranged to see each other again and he's not messaged me since we've seen each other on Thursday

OP posts:
Sapphire387 · 18/03/2023 22:50

How often do you normally see each other?

If you want to see him, maybe just say so?

Newusernameaug · 18/03/2023 22:52

Nah, throw him back - if he was that interested in you he’d want to make sure you weren’t dating anyone else this weekend and he’d be making you a priority to see and spend time with!

arethereanyleftatall · 18/03/2023 22:54

He's not interested I'm afraid. It might be easier if you don't think of it in your head as 'been seeing a guy for 6 weeks' as I'm guessing it will just have been a handful of dates whilst you both decide.

Original poster
hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 22:55

We've already said we like each other.... he said it first.

OP posts:
Original poster
hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 22:56

Maybe I'll leave it to Monday and if he doesn't message me I'll get back online

OP posts:
Original poster
hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 22:57

Sapphire387 · 18/03/2023 22:50

How often do you normally see each other?

If you want to see him, maybe just say so?

I feel like I'm always asking him. He's pretty laid back.

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 18/03/2023 22:59

I think if you asked him what he was doing at the weekend, that's clear enough unless he's a very literal person.
Make your own arrangements for next weekend now, don't hang around waiting for him to get the message. If he's interested he'll let you know.

Original poster
hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 23:10

DelphiniumBlue · 18/03/2023 22:59

I think if you asked him what he was doing at the weekend, that's clear enough unless he's a very literal person.
Make your own arrangements for next weekend now, don't hang around waiting for him to get the message. If he's interested he'll let you know.

He told me (working away).

OP posts:
VeniVidiWeeWee · 18/03/2023 23:11

Why not say "would you like to do 'this'" at the weekend?

Haggisfish3 · 18/03/2023 23:13

I would be upfront and tell him it annoys me that he hasn’t asked.

DelphiniumBlue · 18/03/2023 23:13

I don't understand. If he's said that he is working away, then you know you're not going to see him. So what are you asking? Whether he should be texting you?

Original poster
hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 23:14

DelphiniumBlue · 18/03/2023 23:13

I don't understand. If he's said that he is working away, then you know you're not going to see him. So what are you asking? Whether he should be texting you?

Think it's because I'm always the one messaging him.... asking to meet up

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 18/03/2023 23:16

And that sounds like he isn't that keen......

Original poster
hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 23:17

TheShellBeach · 18/03/2023 23:16

And that sounds like he isn't that keen......

He's already said that he is.... he messaged me saying he liked me etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 23:18

Maybe he's not going to give me what he needs

OP posts:
VeniVidiWeeWee · 18/03/2023 23:21

So it's all about you. He doesn't matter?

Original poster
hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 23:22

VeniVidiWeeWee · 18/03/2023 23:21

So it's all about you. He doesn't matter?

In what way?

OP posts:
Divorcedalongtime · 18/03/2023 23:25

hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 23:14

Think it's because I'm always the one messaging him.... asking to meet up

Show quote history

That book “he’s just not that into you” is an eye opener. He can probably go on meeting you for months but if you left it up to him maybe he would never call…? Have you ever tried not texting or calling him?

No judgement, I used to be just like this myself.

Original poster
hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 23:31

@Divorcedalongtime why did he message me the other day saying he really liked me etc

OP posts:
Divorcedalongtime · 18/03/2023 23:33

Impossible for me to know. I’m just saying that chasing him isnt going to help, you are most likely going to make him less and less into you.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 18/03/2023 23:36

hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 23:22

In what way?

Show quote history

You asked a question, he answered it.

Me - what are you doing his weekend
Him - described what he was doingMe - what are you doing his weekend
Him - described what he was doing

Original poster
hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 23:36

Divorcedalongtime · 18/03/2023 23:33

Impossible for me to know. I’m just saying that chasing him isnt going to help, you are most likely going to make him less and less into you.

Shall I not message him and wait for him to message me?

OP posts:
Twilight7777 · 18/03/2023 23:40

Honestly, I’d be getting back on dating sites, and wouldn’t rely on him, but also keep your options open with him. Just don’t put all your eggs in one basket as they say

Original poster
hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 23:42

Twilight7777 · 18/03/2023 23:40

Honestly, I’d be getting back on dating sites, and wouldn’t rely on him, but also keep your options open with him. Just don’t put all your eggs in one basket as they say

Yeah.

To be fair he's not attached to his phone when he's with Me and rarely on what's app.... so I don't know, maybe just doesn't message

OP posts:
Divorcedalongtime · 18/03/2023 23:43

hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 23:36

Shall I not message him and wait for him to message me?

Show quote history

If you are able to I would stop thinking about him. If he contacts you he does. I know it’s hard but getting attached so quickly isnt good