Page 3 | Is it normal not to have a next date organised?

hexagon123 · 2023-03-18T22:31:09+00:00

Been seeing a guy for about six weeks. Me - what are you doing his weekend Him - described what he was doing Me -thinking *why aren't you asking me back what I'm doing* this weekend So we haven't arranged to see each other again and he's not messaged me since we've seen each other on Thursday

TheShellBeach · 20/03/2023 00:06

hexagon123 · 19/03/2023 23:52

So I bit the bullet and asked him.

All good :)

Until the next time, eh?

Divorcedalongtime · 20/03/2023 00:49

So you asked him… if you’re meeting again?
it’s still just you facilitating this “relationship”

Bepis · 20/03/2023 00:52

hexagon123 · 19/03/2023 23:52

So I bit the bullet and asked him.

All good :)

What did you ask him? About the next date? I'm curious what he said.

TheShellBeach · 20/03/2023 00:55

Divorcedalongtime · 20/03/2023 00:49

So you asked him… if you’re meeting again?
it’s still just you facilitating this “relationship”

Yes. And the OP didn't take any of the advice she got from this thread.
Sigh.

Original poster

hexagon123 · 20/03/2023 12:41

Yes @TheShellBeach typical mums net advice is to pump and dump....

I just had a feeling with him, so I explained the situation and he took it on board and explained the situation. No excuses. We saw each other, it was very rational and normal.

OP posts:

Divorcedalongtime · 20/03/2023 19:26

hexagon123 · 20/03/2023 12:41

Yes @TheShellBeach typical mums net advice is to pump and dump....

I just had a feeling with him, so I explained the situation and he took it on board and explained the situation. No excuses. We saw each other, it was very rational and normal.

It sounds a bit like you are FBs in his eyes though… I hope he doesn’t make you upset again

Original poster

hexagon123 · 20/03/2023 20:15

@Divorcedalongtime what is BFs?

OP posts:

philautia · 20/03/2023 20:28

So because he didn't message you, you messaged him to ask if he was into you?

That is what you were advised against on this thread by many, so why ask?

He has said he's into you. He has shown you he's not into you with his actions.

Whenever I was dating, I'd usually have several men I was speaking to and / or meeting for a drink. That way I never put all of my eggs in one basket or made any stupid mistakes like what I've read here. I met multiple men who were amazing, but picked the one who was just right for me - he showed me every day how much he liked me. He didn't ignore me for days.

Cosyblankets · 20/03/2023 20:30

He hasn't made it clear.
He's told you.
Actions make it clear.
If it's this hard after 6 weeks let it go

Divorcedalongtime · 20/03/2023 20:32

hexagon123 · 20/03/2023 20:15

@Divorcedalongtime what is BFs?

f*ck buddies I’m not trying to be mean honestly I’m not, I think you’re a younger I before I accepted my autism diagnosis and realised peoples words mean nothing, they are not black and white like I am.

FinallyHere · 20/03/2023 21:41

hexagon123 · 18/03/2023 22:55

We've already said we like each other.... he said it first.

And yet, and yet, he doesn't ask you anything about yourself.

I'm guessing that means he isn't that interested.

Maybe he like having you as a girlfriend and isn't too fussed about which girl is his girlfriend.

Not everyone would be happy with that. How do you feel about that?

Eatentoomanyroses · 20/03/2023 21:48

When I was dating about 6 years ago before I met dh I used the rules for dating. The rule for scheduling dates was that they had to ask you for a date every weekend after the third date unless they had a very good reason. If they skipped a weekend more than twice and you didn’t see them they were a next.
It sounds strict but tbh it saves a lot of messing with guys who aren’t really interested. If you’re not part of his weekend plans you’re not where his interest is.

Divorcedalongtime · 20/03/2023 22:10

Eatentoomanyroses · 20/03/2023 21:48

When I was dating about 6 years ago before I met dh I used the rules for dating. The rule for scheduling dates was that they had to ask you for a date every weekend after the third date unless they had a very good reason. If they skipped a weekend more than twice and you didn’t see them they were a next.
It sounds strict but tbh it saves a lot of messing with guys who aren’t really interested. If you’re not part of his weekend plans you’re not where his interest is.

This is a good rule. I’ve tried to date and I can’t prioritise anyone like that, but I know I’m not serious. I have my family I don’t have emotional space for other people however cute they are.

I like this rule though, I will make it mine if ever I feel myself becoming actually serious about someone

Eatentoomanyroses · 20/03/2023 22:34

@Divorcedalongtime if the person had children it’s slightly more flexible but the idea is that whenever the person’s free time from the children is, their priority would be seeing you.

Divorcedalongtime · 20/03/2023 23:17

Eatentoomanyroses · 20/03/2023 22:34

@Divorcedalongtime if the person had children it’s slightly more flexible but the idea is that whenever the person’s free time from the children is, their priority would be seeing you.

In my case I’m the flakey dater who wouldn’t prioritise anyone on my weekends… and I can see how they get annoyed with my non commitment.

buy j do like the rule and will apply them tk others if I find myself actually wanting a. Relationship . Sorry OP for briefly high jacking your thread