To ask if you know any "Secret option 3" secrets? how many "rules" in life are you only finding out too late?

[coffeeginandkindness]

Inspired by this scene in friends where Ross and Rachel are talking about the unwritten rules of life I was thinking what other examples there are

Some of mine are money based but i was also thinking about the thread a few weeks ago where the OP felt like she was being left behind her peers in many other ways. Even though they had all been on a level playing field at uni,

People who manage to buy two properties and let one out instead of buying a bigger house to provide passive income.

People who have limited companies as well as their paid jobs and run expenses through this to reduce their outgoings?

Are there other secrets?
Aibu to ask you share yours?

Very weird, disordered post.

OP..are you OK?

I'm
pretty sure most billionaires are Libra & Pisces & most Olympians are Capricorn 😆

Its this possible not just confirmation bias. Its seems to me people expect summer born children to be 'behind' in someway. Yes there will be difference just because they born 10/12 months after a September child. But often they appear to be over scaffolded. Friends who have ignored these biases have summer born children others consider to be 'not a typical summer born'. nature vs nurture?

At a tenner a shot, I wouldn't be bothered that I missed the cue. If the GP had been less obtuse, he would have given the jabs anyway instead of going round the house. As your DCs medical records didn't state asthma, it wouldn't have worked anyway if what he needed was asthma as his justification to give free jabs.

OP The examples from Friends are shite.

This. This was gonna be my secret hack as well. I worked out at one point that for every £1 I overpaid on my mortgage it saved me another £1. To my mind, that made it worth overpaying even small amounts. So....tastebuds tell me 'I fancy a coffee. It's only £3.' Brain kicks in and says 'Put that £3 into your mortgage fund and you have saved £6. Is the coffee worth £6 to you?'

Because that worked for you doesn't mean it will for everyone. The 4.5 year gap between me and my brother meant that we never had anything in common and never grew close. There's 21 months between my two and they're very close. I'd also say that the small gap made parenting easier (for me).' I wasn't managing conflicting needs.

A hack needs to work for pretty much everyone.

My secret life hack for anyone fortunate enough to buy/own a home

mine is family help to get the home, don't know anyone who hasn't help, myself included.

Planning has a knack of biting me in the bum. I planned a November baby as I thought it a good point in the school year. He arrived mid-August, very prem, and very disabled.

I stopped planning and started to live in the moment 😂

Aw thank you so much 🥰 and I will!!

Hardly a secret life hack but make the effort to understand pensions and finance and make sure that your kids do too. Women are socialised to park this stuff and it’s wrong.

secondky have some sort of a philosophy to help with decision making. That helps me because I’m prone to analysis paralysis, and actually just doing nothing is a decision in itself.

Most stress is caused by decisions that haven’t been made yet.

Finally, tip concierge on the way in, not the way out, when at posh hotels. Guaranteed fab extra service. My posh older lady friend taught me that.

If you look at these children away from the classroom environment they are normally spot on for their age and development, abilities and milestones etc. It's just when you see a 5 year old next to a 4 year old completing the same task - there is always a difference. Not saying either child is better off or worse off, nor does this reflect on the success or abilities of either child. But there is a difference, even if it's just their fine motor skills, the 5 year old will find it easier to hold a pen "pincer grip" and mark make, whereas the 4 year olds bones aren't even fully fused.. Again, each child is exactly where they need to be. But because they are in the same class it looks different!

Some of these hacks might make you some extra money but it’ll cost you in other ways.

Put the £3 into your mortgage instead of having a coffee. So you pay off your mortgage early but you’ve never been able to treat yourself.

Buy two small houses instead of one larger one and rent one out. But then you only get to live in a smaller house yourself for a large part of your life instead of living somewhere nicer.

It depends on whether you value a particular lifestyle or you prefer accumulating money just for itself.

For us the life hack has been learning how to do things for ourselves. It started small in our first home but we graduated to kitchen and bathroom fitting and eventually full renovation.

This saves a fortune. There is so much inflation in having someone do something like a kitchen for you. Yet unless you are having a really high end kitchen all the cupboards etc are exactly the same as the ones sold by B&Q or Wickes.

Kitchen fitters like Howdens kitchens because the cabinets arrive ready assembled plus they get a massive discount which the customer doesn't see.

But if you spent more time learning about investing, you might make enough profit to be able to pay a professional - as well as freeing up time which you are currently spending on DiY and maybe getting the work done to a higher standard.

It’s not ignorance at all, don’t be rude.
Most people don’t have fertility problems.
Statistically, enough people conceive first time trying to make it worth considering even though it’s not guaranteed.

Me: 5 years trying, 3 miscarriages, successful IVF babies. Can still see that statistically, it makes sense to try to time with teacher holiday or banker bonus.

There are only 3 things you need to do if you want to have a great career, a spotless home, and exotic holidays:

1. Get a good job
2. Don't get married or have children
3. Don’t have pets

😁

@daisychain01 ”OP The examples from Friends are shite.”

🤣🤣🤣

I think one of my life hacks would be: if you find yourself taking Friends too seriously - don’t.

All those, “which one are you?” type convos and constantly quoting needs to stay in the 90s. It’s over.

This thread very much reminds me of the "Top Tips" page in Viz (if that's still going).

Renters! Tired of paying someone else's mortgage? Just buy your own home.
Car Drivers! Fed up of high petrol prices? Travel everywhere by private jet and kiss the forecourt goodbye.
Labour MPs! Sick and tired of having to wait another two years for the general election? Stage a coup d'état and get the keys to number 10 today!

This is very true.

My dh is the money-savvy one and has all kinds of stuff going on behind the scenes - he reads up on this stuff religiously.

Im rubbish and more likely to read the home decor pages I'm afraid.

@CarpeDiemCarpeDontem - start here:

www.amazon.co.uk/Welcome-Home-Poets-Guide-Building/dp/1473699991

Get married before having kids. (Inspired by another thread where a long-term partner has been shafted)

It's not just a piece of paper and it will help protect you if things go tits up

Disagree on the overpaying your mortgage (well, till this year). In the past years borrowing has been very very cheap. You're better off paying as little as possible and investing any extra money in something that returns more than your mortgage rate which til the past year was around 2%. lots of riskier investment opportunities will give you much higher return rates than 2%. Mortgages were cheap money.

Second hack- people don't get Rich through earned income. It's all through investments. Learn the markets.

I don’t believe there are ‘secret option 3’ type things. We’re all born into the same world, with the same 24 hours and the same ability to access the entirety of human history and knowledge within seconds through devices we keep in our pockets. Yes, there’s things like not being born into poverty, or keeping good health - but largely that’s down to luck. The rest is up to us.

But do much of this Is tied up with our upbringing, and our access to cultural and social capital. Not to mention the behaviour modelled to us by parents and others.

So someone who grows up seeing parents being affluent enough to be clever with money - headspace to shop around for deals, putting ££ into pension or savings, is advantaged compared to someone who doesn’t see this growing up.

Similarly if your parents know eg how university admissions work, or you have an uncle who can point you in the direction of a good internship, you’re advantaged in a way many people aren’t.

But I don't want to pay a professional, I enjoy doing it. And my work is to a high standard. It takes me much longer than a professional, but after seeing the state of the hidden bits of a my old professionally installed kitchen, I know the one I fitted is much better quality!

Plus there is both pride and a feeling of security that comes from knowing the bones of my house. I have a nice savings pot, can afford the holidays and lifestyle i want and I won't be poor in retirement, so why do I need a bigger number in my bank account?

But that's beside the point of this thread. My point was we all have the same amount of time and focus our attentions on things that we enjoy and are important to us. There is no quick "life hack" to knowing stuff

If the sort of people you hang out with are planning their conceptions based on a quirk of schooling, it’s no wonder you looking for rainbows. The whole august baby shite is over egged and paranoia. I had a Feb and august babies. No bloody differences at all once past year 2 . The issue is any child who has no parenteral support will not reach their full potential and parents will look for any explanation at all to explain it other than their own actions

as for the whole tax thing: yes their are financial advisors who will advise people round loopholes and hence why people like Jimmy carr got fined. But tax legislation has a lot of fully legitimate tax incentives . Anyone can and should read those and always use their full entitlements if they can. If you don’t know them then more fool you