To ask if you know any "Secret option 3" secrets? how many "rules" in life are you only finding out too late?

[coffeeginandkindness]

Inspired by this scene in friends where Ross and Rachel are talking about the unwritten rules of life I was thinking what other examples there are

Some of mine are money based but i was also thinking about the thread a few weeks ago where the OP felt like she was being left behind her peers in many other ways. Even though they had all been on a level playing field at uni,

People who manage to buy two properties and let one out instead of buying a bigger house to provide passive income.

People who have limited companies as well as their paid jobs and run expenses through this to reduce their outgoings?

Are there other secrets?
Aibu to ask you share yours?

Some company pensions give your family what you've saved as a lump sum if you die.

It's worth understanding what you've got as it might save you taking out mortgage insurance or life insurance.

Make friends with some drug users. All manner of weird and wonderful things get passed around.

@Neodymium In hindsight yes but what if his follow up question was what inhaler do they use? What's the strength and how often do they need it? You wouldn't have been poised to answer that had you been privvy to the free jab had that been your intention IYSWIM.

Bigger age gaps between children (min 4 years) for less sibling rivalry and an easier happier family life.

small gaps are often advised on here and not just overrated but often a mistake.

Molly Mae is that you??

@Neodymium Kids get free flu shots on the NHS anyway so not sure what you're on about.

I like that!

@Neodymium “Realised later that he was giving me the option to say yes cause flu shots are free if you say you have asthma 😬”

It’s free for kids in the U.K. and Republic of Ireland. Are you in America? “Shots” sounds like it. Although I didn’t think it’d be free in America with or without asthma.

Ah - you’re in Australia!

September babies are actually statistically just above average for achievements when they reach adult hood.

You want to increase odds of a high flying baby you aim for end of April.

If it’s a DC pension your beneficiary gets all of it - no some companies about it, that’s the law.

But if it’s a DB pension, the payment isn’t usually your contributions back. It’s usually a separate benefit of “death in service” often 3 or 4x your annual salary.

I agree it’s a consideration for life insurance. But “death in service” is for when you’re actively employed (in service). So if you’re likely to change job, you may find that life insurance premium is much more expensive than if you’d started in years before.

None of this is sone secret life hack though. Again, in keeping with lots of the other replies: it’s about simply engaging your brain. In this case, if you have a company pension - take the time to read the details.

Not having a pop at you @majesticminimilk - I think it’s great to raise awareness. Just saying that it’s another example of things not being secret at all!

Yes this! At the offer stage I always think ‘what would a man do?’ My last two jobs I’ve negotiated 20% above the offered salary without quibble.

Where did you find that info please?

Buying two houses instead of one expensive one? Many people can’t afford to get on the mortgage ladder at all. The only hack there is being rich enough to start with that you can afford to speculate to accumulate.

Best life hack ever is to be born into a family with money.

Insurance is required to pay for preventive treatments like flu vaccination in full, and local health authorities provide them for the uninsured, at least where I live.

My life tip is to buy and hold a diversified portfolio of stocks for a very long time.

Learning to enjoy my own company and not be reliant on having friends for my self-esteem or happiness. I learnt this at about age 44, during Covid.

If I have friends it's a bonus, but I don't need them to feel like a worthwhile person. I think this makes me a better friend too.

But most people probably learned all this in their 20s or something.

I'm unsure where you got this info, but after working in schools for years, when planning mine that's exactly what I did! Currently 36 weeks so it worked out great.
I've found the summer borns are very much the "baby" of the class. Your "risers" have far too much pressure on them, and they can get bored in class very easily. Not only for academic reasons. My sister was a riser and hated it. Also, the babies and risers are often worlds apart but in the same class.. At sports day last year we had a 5 year old doing "nursery activities" and bored out her brain, but competing against a barely 4 year old who just couldn't do it. We all know how much difference a few months development can make, never mind a full year!!
Everyone believes different. But after working in schools and being a childminder for years. I just wanted a kid in the middle, nothing special, and they will be the exact right age for their year group.

I say partly in jest because I have an end of April babe 🤣

But yes they do have the most awards of 1000 winners of prestigious awards surveyed at random.

99 awards for April compared with 90 for September (holding joint 4th, 5th and 6th position). End of April dates 27, 29th and 30th are the most decorated birthdays. Making that week the most statistically successful week to be born if you wish to make the history books. March is a pretty good month too, particularly for the creative topics.

blog.myheritage.com/2021/09/decorated-dates-is-your-birthday-linked-to-award-winning-success/

And that’s just myheritage having a bit of fun, but there are quite a few studies about spring babies and summer babies actually being most likely to be successful in business/ ceos. It doesn’t seem consistent though because there’s many of these studies and they don’t agree. Obviously all using different methods.

And what is success anyway? 🤷‍♀️ Basically it’s not cut and dry but April is one of the least likely months to be born (11th) and September the most so it really should not have that much decoration.

Ooo congratulations 🥳

I didn’t plan was just an accident. Then started panic so did some research about it and was happy with the results. I do feel same as you it’s better for the education to be just the right level. Too easy and kids can float through and flop when they have to work for something later. Too hard and that can impact confidence and think I can never make it what’s the point in trying.

Also a great month to have babe as have all summer to enjoy walks, day trips and cafes, 😊 lighter evenings makes witching hour much more tolerable. And then mostly indoors during during the learning to crawl stage so can just let them get on with it. Can’t wait for this summer for him to start toddling about outside 🥰 I found it such hard work at the beginning but 10 months now is the best age! So cute

Thank you 🥰 its all getting very real now! First baby!
I agree with absolutely everything you said, and so so so pleased, and very lucky, that my conception was so straight forward and fast. We are over the moon with our little spring baby.

I know, my mum and MIL are super excited about the summer months, they've been and bought picnic baskets and sun hats and just about everything a baby could need 🥰
Congrats on your little one too, 10 months is a lovely age, their little personality starts shining through! One of my nieces is 14 months and still just adorable. These are the best times!

I am "makingamess4212", apologies for the name change, MN app swapped it back and I didn't realise 🤦🏻‍♀️

Omg you will have to let us know how you get on! It is close 🥳🥳🥳

Wishing you a good safe delivery and a happy maternity leave 🥰

And to my rule of life - see an experienced Pilates physio 1-1 after babe starting at about 6 months pp. The best decision I ever made in my life.

Statistically first borns are more successful and earn more, so if you're firstborn in September you're off to a great start! 😁

e..g someone I know has has just bought a massive porsche via her business because it saved her corporation tax bill - all legal - poss not moral.

You can only buy things through your business that your business can afford to pay for. So if her business can afford to buy her a massive Porsche, I suspect her “secret life hack” is having started a very successful business, which won’t have happened by accident.

I haven’t done life like most of my peers. Didn’t go to uni / didn’t buy a house / don’t have a career / don’t drive / had my child last minute unplanned / didn’t have a wedding / no pension / no plan... Never have planned, just jumped & the net appeared. I’ve been lucky!

But, I have no MH problems, don’t do stress. Been through hard times, but no anxiety. Never been in debt. Don’t suffer envy. Like my home, don’t want a better one. DH is pain in the arse, but I’m not afraid to leave. Child not in crèche.

Was struck recently when a friend, who has done all of the “right” things in life (good job, mortgage, 2.5 children) said that he thinks we (as in society) are doing life “all wrong”. He is part of a rat race, working to pay for it all. Absolutely hates it. I found that interesting..,