To be miffed that dh spent more on dss mum than me for mothers day?

[fraee]

Just that.

Ds came home very upset said he wanted to get me something else and dh said no. It was small and still wouldve been less than what dss spent on his mum.

I know its very small in the grand scheme of things but surely he would want to spend more on me?

as someone who works in a shop where we sell a lot of expensive gifts that will only mean a lot if someone absolutely loves them I really feel the need to hammer home the it’s the thought that counts. Something was picked out for you by your son. That’s honestly all that matters.

What PP said. It's the thought that counts.

Ask your husband flat out why he was so mean and why he feels she should have more and your DS is upset as not allowed the same. This would make me mad.

Your DH took his DC shopping to buy their DM's a Mother's Day present - they should have been given the same amount to spend.

DP used to give DSD the same amount to spend on her DM for Mother's Day as her DM would give her to spend on him for Father's Day. Could that be why?

Fgs sake all.this grabiness, just knock this mother's day crap on the head.

How old is your son and how old is your stepson. Do either of them get pocket money. Perhaps your stepson gets more money from his mum and used some of that? But if your husband was paying for both gifts he should have allocated the same budget and allow each of his sons to choose a gift within budget (even if the items they chose didn't cost exactly the same).

The issue is not so much that he spent more on his ex, it's that your son was upset because he didn't let him give you what he wanted... how unreasonable that is depends how old your son is and what the price discrepancy was.

Or his child doesn't have the same family that you have and his dad is trying to make up for it? Honestly get a grip! I seriously don't think adults realise what children go through with broken families.

How the fuck do you even know what's been spent on you? Just how grabby and jealous of your husband's ex are you?

I wouldn’t like that at all but I personally couldn’t be with someone who has a child from a previous relationship. I’d compare everything and get annoyed at small things so it’s really best for me to not get myself into a situation like that.

As the gifts have been bought, what exactly can you do? Say to DH, ‘well why have you spent more on DSS’s mum then you have on me.’ You’d just look crazy

That would have me angry too. It’s not a good sign. Sorry, OP.

It wasn't what her son picked though was it. Her son being upset the dad didn't get what he chose is why she made the post 🙄

Hear hear!

And Isn't mother's day tomorrow? Why are so many mothers on here so upset already? And why the upset?

Surely your DH buts for his own mother according to his own grownup income.
What will your DS get you when he's a grownup if your expectations are based on the monetary value of a gift and also compared to another mother's gift? Will you compare your gift to his future wife's gift when she becomes a mother?

If my partner spent more on his ex than me I'd be assume he wanted her back.

Ha! Completely miss read this OP and I apologise profusely.
I thought you were comparing with the gift DH got for his own mother.
DSS is completely different.
But still absolutely no reason to be upset about it and you shouldn't compare.
Also, if gifts are the dine thing, an older child would naturally get a more expensive gift. I assume DSS is older than DS.

I don’t think it’s necessarily about the cost.
My favourite chocolate is quite low budget, and I would be happy to receive that.
If DSS knows his Mum likes something which costs a bit more I still think it’s the thought that counts.
I would be upset if DH told DS he couldn’t buy me something he wanted to get, if he knew I would like it.

He should have given both ds and dss the same amount of money. I’d be miffed as well.

You don’t even know what he’s got you yet.

This, why is did the subject even come up. Can't believe all the grabby comments on here, no wonder so many kids are spoiled brats now. Terrible parenting 😑

What was it that you were given for Mother's Day that was so disappointing?

Perhaps he appreciates that his ex is raising his kid without him around and you are raising yours with him there?

Unless there is other issues in your relationship I really would not let this small thing upset you.

Oh get a grip. If my DC's dad spent more/made more of a show of getting stuff for me than his DP for Mother's Day, to the extent that a young child could even see the disparity, I would think it was really weird.

It. Doesn't. Matter.
You really add up costs like this? Really?!

Indeed. Without knowing the age of the children, the gift itself - how would you know all this? If the child was old enough to report all this back, and compare the cost to someone else’s present it does make you wonder about how they view money.

I think all these threads raise a separate issue. Are there all these mums who feel so unappreciated they need the validation of a gift of a certain amount? I love my mum, and she knows it. I call her every other day as I don’t live close. She knows she’s appreciated. I send her a card as she likes them, we have a great relationship. When I was a child my dad would take us down and we’d ‘help’ making a tea for her to enjoy in bed with a card - we didn’t buy a present. My husband’s family don’t really do Mother’s Day. He speaks/texts his mum lots and our child sees them pretty much weekly - much more than my parents do.

Maybe it’s just me and our family, but presents and expenditure don’t really mean anything - we can buy whatever we want for ourselves. It’s the little things like a lie in, maybe a lunch out or something you don’t have to cook yourself if you’re the one who cooks. If you don’t feel appreciated is a gift once a year really going to change anything?

I'm curious because you have not said...is your DH your son's father?

That sounds rubbish. Disappointing for DS which is crap of his dad.