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AIBU?

To buy a £700k house on £67k

544 replies

Polledja · 18/03/2023 19:08

My wife and I are looking to buy a house. I was very foolish with my money during my younger days so am behind my peers.
we want a house near a good school and houses in that area range from £550k to £700k. The ones my wife likes are at the higher end but I don’t think we can afford these. She has become withdrawn and depressed during this process and it caused allot of tension.
I have approx £280k for a deposit (this is all our savings bar £18k). We can borrow £350k based on our joint salaries of £67k. It leaves me £90k short. I think I could borrow this from family.

our net pay is £3900 per month. We would have £2000 tonoay on our mortgage leaving us with £1900 to pay everything else. We have two young kids at school. Our monthly expenses excluding our mortgage are about £1600 so it would meaning having nothing left each month

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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QueenCamilla · 18/03/2023 20:03

The thing is, you'll never keep up. Some people are like bottomless buckets - no matter how much you put in, it's never enough.
I've lived in a 1.2 mil house, a 350k one and now I'm in a house I bought for 80k cash. The 1.2 mil house was the most miserable time in my life, spent with someone rich and yet constantly "overstretched".

I love the bones of my beautiful Victorian terrace - she allows me to be free.

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NoDrinksForMe · 18/03/2023 20:03

"so we might as well make it the most we can afford"

But if you need to borrow £90k off family you CAN'T afford it.

For reference we bought a house at £480k on £100k joint income some years ago and find we have a nice standard of living. Not luxurious, as insurances, rates and repairs have fairly added up. Also kids are expensive and we have several. Our mortgage is currently about 20% of our monthly income after tax, pensions etc deducted. You're figures are something like 50%, which no one would ever advise unless you were exceptionally high earners.

Honestly no way I would buy a house at the sums you've stated, and I'm the risk taker of the two of us.

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TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 18/03/2023 20:04

our net pay is £3900 per month. We would have £2000 tonoay on our mortgage leaving us with £1900 to pay everything else. We have two young kids at school. Our monthly expenses excluding our mortgage are about £1600 so it would meaning having nothing left each month

& when interest rates rise again, you will have nothing left to meet the increased repayments.

When your boiler goes tits up or you need to replace a car, you'll be stuck.

You can't afford a £700k house.
You're going to have to restrategise, & consider different locations.

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Calmdown14 · 18/03/2023 20:05

Did you actually save the £280k? I.e you are very frugal, good at living on a low amount out of your salaries?

If this is the case you might just manage (but I still wouldn't as it's a very long term commitment to scraping by).

Does your monthly budget include something for car repairs, house maintenance etc? Otherwise you'll be knackered as soon as the boiler breaks down or the roof needs repair

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LadyVictoriaSponge · 18/03/2023 20:06

Your wife sounds a spoilt brat, we all would like a house in the next price bracket to what we can actually afford, but most adults don’t sulk and cause tensions in their marriage because of it, if your wife wants a fancier house tell her to find a much better paid job for starters. I bet if you did buy the expensive house she would soon be in a depression that she hasn’t got a fancy new kitchen or whatever, the house will just be the start of it.

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pompomdaisy · 18/03/2023 20:06

Nope don't do it. Your aspiration is above your means!

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barmycatmum · 18/03/2023 20:07

Another thing- once you own a home, you HAVE to have some funds for emergency repairs and things. It’s not just ok, we bought it, we’re done.

depending on the building quality, it could be a lot or it could be a little, but there will always be maintenance.

I am going to be blunt: I’d lose a partner who would not be a good financial team player with me, before I’d make a bad financial decision just to keep them happy.

this could affect your lives in many ways, health and debt - all of which might put a big strain on your relationship anyway.

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Katela18 · 18/03/2023 20:07

This would honestly be a ridiculous idea.

We have a joint income of 82k and are looking at properties no more than 325k, with a deposit of 80k. I have no idea why you'd stretch yourself that far. It also doesn't allow you any fall back for savings, things going wrong in the house, increases in bills and mortgage payments.

I'm sorry your wife is upset or becoming withdrawn but frankly, she probably needs to grow up a bit.

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Hayliebells · 18/03/2023 20:08

No, I would not do this. You could rent a house close to the good school, then once your child has actually started school you can move somewhere close by, but not necessarily in the catchment, that you can afford. You can't afford a £700k house. Or, you could by a cheaper house near the school now, when sell later and move. You'd need to factor in moving costs though. Is £67k really your likely joint your max income? I'd have thought, in areas where houses cost £700k, you'd be in spitting distance of a city with good employment prospects. Could you increase your income then move?

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Hillary17 · 18/03/2023 20:09

This is a very bad idea but also, incredibly selfish and short sighted of your wife to be guilt tripping you into this. You can’t afford it. We’ve just looked to move and combined earn double (not a boast..) and we’re looking around £400K to ensure we had contingency. In the end have decided to stay because we don’t want to stretch. The last few years are a good example of the fact that anything can change! Please don’t do this. Sit and work out a proper budget.

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CoolasCucumbers · 18/03/2023 20:10

You can only just afford your deposit and £350K - so around £630K and even that would leave you in a very tight situation.

Your wife will have to reset her expectations and stop being so ridiculous.

You can't afford any more as there will be no wriggle room. If you lost your job(s) you'd be completely stuffed as you have no savings to tide you over.

OR if interest rates rise, the same would apply.

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valentinaxo · 18/03/2023 20:10

Gosh, think carefully before you do this. My partner's brother bought a 800k house on a joint income of around 80k ish and 100K deposit but used a covid business loan to fudge their income, therefore getting approval for a massive mortgage (>£3k/month!). He's resorting to tax dodging to make ends meet (cash in hand) and sounds very stressed by it all. It will no doubt catch up with him. Be sensible and buy what you can realistically afford. The novelty of having a big house would soon wear off. Don't be a fool!!!!

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9outof10cats · 18/03/2023 20:11

Have you factored in your repayment to the family that lend you the £90,000? What payment terms would they want? Would they charge you interest?

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wasteoffunds · 18/03/2023 20:12

I get your wife's point but I am fairly sure you could pay a lot less and get a house that sufficiently met your needs. If interest rates went up only a little, you would have no slack whatsoever. Make sure you factor in council tax on a bigger house and increased heating costs unless a well-insulated newbuild.

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LemonSwan · 18/03/2023 20:12

amiold · 18/03/2023 19:12

This is ridiculous.

Me and op have a joint of 110k and I won't let him look at houses over 300k.

How would you live comfortably on £1900. Do you have kids?

Lol that’s also ridiculous 🤣

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MotherOfLunatics · 18/03/2023 20:12

Mortgage affordability calculators are roughly 4x your joint income. They are also incredibly strict on the source of your deposit. My parents gifted me £50k towards my first property several years ago, the mortgage providers insisted on a legal document stating it was not a loan or to repaid. Essentially your family member would need to sign a contract stating they were gifting you the £90k and would have absolutely no legal claim on that money if you defaulted on repaying them.

From the sounds of it you could afford £550k. I'd suggest speaking to a mortgage advisor with your wife, it's really not up to you to decide how much a bank will lend you.

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Hayliebells · 18/03/2023 20:13

Polledja · 18/03/2023 19:09

Sorry wanted to ask if this would reasonable to do or not. It’s become a pretty difficult conversation with my wife and it’s causing a strain on our marriage if I am being honest. Her reasoning is that we are only going to buy a house once so we might as well make it the most we can afford

Well that's daft, most people do not only buy one house. That's why it's called a property ladder. You definitely have a wife problem!

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LemonSwan · 18/03/2023 20:15

Woofappreciationday · 18/03/2023 19:13

In the current economy? No i wouldnt stretch myself that far, life would be miserable. I would be looking at the low end of that scale as maximum.

Im also surprised you can borrow £350k from a £67k income? Are you sure this is correct?

Probably. In our first home we were on 17k each and borrowed 180k.

That was only 5 years ago.

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Novatherova · 18/03/2023 20:15

Another fake post 🙄

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BeverForget · 18/03/2023 20:16

I can't believe you would get a mortgage on these terms?

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Lndnmummy · 18/03/2023 20:17

Polledja · 18/03/2023 19:09

Sorry wanted to ask if this would reasonable to do or not. It’s become a pretty difficult conversation with my wife and it’s causing a strain on our marriage if I am being honest. Her reasoning is that we are only going to buy a house once so we might as well make it the most we can afford

What is she doing to finance this dream house of hers? Its your savings and your salary? Would the borrowing be from your family members too? How much is she prepared to work to enable this house dream?

If she is not. Then dont do it

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VestaTilley · 18/03/2023 20:17

Buy somewhere cheaper or buy a flat to start off with. You’ll still be buying somewhere, and most people start off small and have to move up the ladder.

We did the move from rented -> second rung of ladder (3 bed terrace, great school catchment) in one go, but only because DH now earns very good money. We had a 95% mortgage and had to compromise by having virtually no garden- everyone has to make at least one compromise. Our mortgage fix is up this spring and money will be tight until DS stops going to nursery in late Aug, but we can afford it because of DH’s salary and nursery fees ending.

I wouldn’t do it in your circumstances because your numbers are too tight. Buy a 2 bed flat in a cheaper area and look to move again in 5 years.

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Anotherturnipforthebooks · 18/03/2023 20:18

As astounded as I am by op's situation, I'm also puzzled by the 'we have a £200k income and wouldn't dream of buy a house costing more than £300k' type posts.

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MissMarplesbag · 18/03/2023 20:19

If the interest rates rise, you will lose your house and all of your savings. Lock away your savings into long term 30 day notice accounts and max out your ISA & premium bond accounts. This will prevent your wife from pissing it up the wall keeping up with the Jones'.

It's also really selfish and greedy of you both to contemplate borrowing £90k off family to pay for a house that you can't afford.

Can you afford to repay your relations? No.
Can you afford any emergency repairs on the house? No
Can you afford mortgage interest rate rises? No
Can you afford utility rate rises? No
Can one of you afford the mortgage if one of you died or lost a job? No
Can you afford a £700k house? Absolutely not.

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pinkbaglady · 18/03/2023 20:19

My DH and I bring in about £6000 a month and I wouldn’t dream of buying a house over £280,000.

why? Because we’re financially responsible.

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