AIBU?
To buy a £700k house on £67k
Polledja · 18/03/2023 19:08
My wife and I are looking to buy a house. I was very foolish with my money during my younger days so am behind my peers.
we want a house near a good school and houses in that area range from £550k to £700k. The ones my wife likes are at the higher end but I don’t think we can afford these. She has become withdrawn and depressed during this process and it caused allot of tension.
I have approx £280k for a deposit (this is all our savings bar £18k). We can borrow £350k based on our joint salaries of £67k. It leaves me £90k short. I think I could borrow this from family.
our net pay is £3900 per month. We would have £2000 tonoay on our mortgage leaving us with £1900 to pay everything else. We have two young kids at school. Our monthly expenses excluding our mortgage are about £1600 so it would meaning having nothing left each month
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Grumpybutfunny · 20/03/2023 09:52
uggmum · 20/03/2023 08:52
The fact that you feel you can ask family to lend you a sum of £90k is a disgrace.
You are a grown up. Pay your own way. You clearly can't afford it.
Is your Wife so spoilt and entitled that she can't get a big house that you both can't afford.
The 90k could be an inheritance tax dodge 😉 my parents have gifted us and DS money over the years as I'm an only child.
OP I would buy the worst house on the best street for closer to 500k then do it up and enjoy your life. That's what we are doing at the moment
lemoncurdcrumpets · 20/03/2023 10:17
ThankmelaterOkay · 20/03/2023 09:20
It won’t be a loan. It’ll be a gift. Legally it’ll be their money, but presumably at some point he will be expected to pay it back.
Welcome to middle England.
lemoncurdcrumpets · 20/03/2023 09:10
No mortgage lender will lend to you if you need a loan from family.
They’ll have to sign a declaration that they don’t expect it back.
DanceMonster · 20/03/2023 10:18
lemoncurdcrumpets · 20/03/2023 10:17
They’ll have to sign a declaration that they don’t expect it back.
ThankmelaterOkay · 20/03/2023 09:20
It won’t be a loan. It’ll be a gift. Legally it’ll be their money, but presumably at some point he will be expected to pay it back.
Welcome to middle England.
lemoncurdcrumpets · 20/03/2023 09:10
No mortgage lender will lend to you if you need a loan from family.
Our parents signed a declaration saying they didn’t want it back, but we still paid it back.
ThankmelaterOkay · 20/03/2023 11:20
lemoncurdcrumpets · 20/03/2023 10:17
They’ll have to sign a declaration that they don’t expect it back.
ThankmelaterOkay · 20/03/2023 09:20
It won’t be a loan. It’ll be a gift. Legally it’ll be their money, but presumably at some point he will be expected to pay it back.
Welcome to middle England.
lemoncurdcrumpets · 20/03/2023 09:10
No mortgage lender will lend to you if you need a loan from family.
Really? I just thought gifts were gifts. Unless the parent(s) die within 7 years, then it’s subject to IHT on a sliding scale.
DanceMonster · 20/03/2023 11:23
ThankmelaterOkay · 20/03/2023 11:20
Really? I just thought gifts were gifts. Unless the parent(s) die within 7 years, then it’s subject to IHT on a sliding scale.
lemoncurdcrumpets · 20/03/2023 10:17
They’ll have to sign a declaration that they don’t expect it back.
ThankmelaterOkay · 20/03/2023 09:20
It won’t be a loan. It’ll be a gift. Legally it’ll be their money, but presumably at some point he will be expected to pay it back.
Welcome to middle England.
lemoncurdcrumpets · 20/03/2023 09:10
No mortgage lender will lend to you if you need a loan from family.
If the gifted money is forming part of the funds of a house purchase then yes, a declaration has to be signed to say that they don’t expect the money back. Otherwise it could lead to a situation where the parents are entitled to a charge on the house. If it’s a loan and not a gift, the financial obligation to repay will be taken into account when lenders decide how much they will lend.
When buying a house now the origin of all money used is rigorously checked for AML reasons.
MrsBlac · 20/03/2023 11:26
We bought our house for 600k just before the 2007 crash. Our mortgage was 50% of our monthly income. We had a tough 3 years, no holidays etc. We basically went to work, home and the gym. We worked late so work provided the food during the week. We did not have children at that time. However, we knew that with bonuses and a frugal lifestyle it would be ok as it was our forever home. There is no way I would do that again with children. I would feel guilty that they could not do anything because of the house.
Anotherturnipforthebooks · 20/03/2023 12:08
Generational wealth is Money Laundering but perhaps that’s another discussion! From someone who will benefit.
Money Laundering is the process for making illegally obtained money look legal so, no, inheritance isn't money laundering. Whether inheritance is fair or positive for society is another question.
DedicatedFollowerOfFashion84 · 20/03/2023 14:01
Anotherturnipforthebooks · 19/03/2023 22:08
I've been wondering this too.
soffa · 19/03/2023 22:01
where are all these people living earning high incomes but where a house is available for cheap?
We live in Northern Ireland… bought a 4 bed detached with extensive gardens front and rear in a great area for £129k two years ago.
pinkbaglady · 20/03/2023 14:31
DedicatedFollowerOfFashion84 · 20/03/2023 14:01
We live in Northern Ireland… bought a 4 bed detached with extensive gardens front and rear in a great area for £129k two years ago.
Anotherturnipforthebooks · 19/03/2023 22:08
I've been wondering this too.
soffa · 19/03/2023 22:01
where are all these people living earning high incomes but where a house is available for cheap?
I think mumsnet (sometimes) forgets that life exists outside the south of England.
DanceMonster · 20/03/2023 14:37
pinkbaglady · 20/03/2023 14:31
I think mumsnet (sometimes) forgets that life exists outside the south of England.
DedicatedFollowerOfFashion84 · 20/03/2023 14:01
We live in Northern Ireland… bought a 4 bed detached with extensive gardens front and rear in a great area for £129k two years ago.
Anotherturnipforthebooks · 19/03/2023 22:08
I've been wondering this too.
soffa · 19/03/2023 22:01
where are all these people living earning high incomes but where a house is available for cheap?
And that many people outside London earn decent salaries. We still have, for example, hospital consultants, GPs, senior execs, high level IT consultants etc. As I said above, we live in a cheap village in the East Midlands and have a high household income. I work in marketing, DH works in fraud for an international bank. We’re not all farm hands and labourers!
2bazookas · 20/03/2023 15:04
Mandyjack · 19/03/2023 22:20
If your a high earner would you not prefer to have a better house?
DanceMonster · 19/03/2023 22:08
We live in a cheap town in the East Midlands, income £200k
soffa · 19/03/2023 22:01
where are all these people living earning high incomes but where a house is available for cheap?
what makes you think she hasn't got a "better house"? If you live in a cheaper area of UK, that means its better houses are cheaper too.
DanceMonster · 20/03/2023 15:07
2bazookas · 20/03/2023 15:04
what makes you think she hasn't got a "better house"? If you live in a cheaper area of UK, that means its better houses are cheaper too.
Mandyjack · 19/03/2023 22:20
If your a high earner would you not prefer to have a better house?
DanceMonster · 19/03/2023 22:08
We live in a cheap town in the East Midlands, income £200k
soffa · 19/03/2023 22:01
where are all these people living earning high incomes but where a house is available for cheap?
Well quite. My house is lovely, it was just comparatively cheap because of the part of the country it’s in. It has 4 bed, 3 reception rooms, large front and back gardens, garage etc.
TrinaLowsln · 20/03/2023 15:59
JosieJasper · 20/03/2023 15:40
Me and op have a joint of 110k and I won't let him look at houses over 300k.
Wouldn’t get a house for that price where I live though so as sensible as that sounds it would mean a two bed flat max.
That's not even 3x your income.
TrinaLowsln · 20/03/2023 16:01
DanceMonster · 20/03/2023 15:10
And by ‘part of the country’, I don’t mean I live somewhere rough. I live in a pleasant medium sized village with a few nice pubs and restaurants, independent shops etc. It’s just not in the South East!
Well some of us do live in the south east, and if we all moved to cheaper areas then those areas would not remain cheap for long.
Most people in the SE (and many parts of SW now, frankly), are going to struggle to buy anything for less than 3x their salary, or keep a mortgage at less than 25% take home.
DanceMonster · 20/03/2023 16:12
TrinaLowsln · 20/03/2023 16:01
Well some of us do live in the south east, and if we all moved to cheaper areas then those areas would not remain cheap for long.
Most people in the SE (and many parts of SW now, frankly), are going to struggle to buy anything for less than 3x their salary, or keep a mortgage at less than 25% take home.
DanceMonster · 20/03/2023 15:10
And by ‘part of the country’, I don’t mean I live somewhere rough. I live in a pleasant medium sized village with a few nice pubs and restaurants, independent shops etc. It’s just not in the South East!
No I completely get that. I’ve said so myself multiple times above. I’ve reiterated that some people have no choice but to stretch themselves. I was aiming my post at people asking how you can possibly earn a good salary if you live in a cheap area, and why don’t I buy a ‘better’ house, because mine was cheap 🤷🏻♀️.
Many people wouldn’t want to live where I live, I get that. It’s boring. I used to live in London myself (and Paris, and Milan, and Madrid). We all choose what’s most important to us, whether that’s living near friends and family, living close to work etc. I’ve made my choice.
Anotherturnipforthebooks · 20/03/2023 16:15
I agree that people don't consider how different the housing market is across the UK but actually this just undermines the 'I earn quarter of a million and wouldn't dream of spending more than £300k posts.
You aren't buying in op's housing market so your experience of being able to buy a beautiful family home for under £250k is almost irrelevant.
DanceMonster · 20/03/2023 16:18
Anotherturnipforthebooks · 20/03/2023 16:15
I agree that people don't consider how different the housing market is across the UK but actually this just undermines the 'I earn quarter of a million and wouldn't dream of spending more than £300k posts.
You aren't buying in op's housing market so your experience of being able to buy a beautiful family home for under £250k is almost irrelevant.
I also didn’t say that. In fact I was supporting those who say sometimes you have to take a risk and stretch your finances. Even living in a cheap area when we bought our house it was a massive stretch. We now, 5 years later, have more than double the income we did when we bought it so the risk paid off. I only mentioned the price of our house and our income in response to a poster asking where people could possibly live that has high salaries and cheap housing, and another asking why I didn’t buy a ‘better’ house as we have a high income.
pinkbaglady · 20/03/2023 16:22
Anotherturnipforthebooks · 20/03/2023 16:15
I agree that people don't consider how different the housing market is across the UK but actually this just undermines the 'I earn quarter of a million and wouldn't dream of spending more than £300k posts.
You aren't buying in op's housing market so your experience of being able to buy a beautiful family home for under £250k is almost irrelevant.
Oh come off it. No matter where you live, £67k and having to beg, borrow and steal to afford a £700k is madness.
Anotherturnipforthebooks · 20/03/2023 16:23
@DanceMonster
I didn't say you did, but there have been plenty of patronising posts about financial responsibility from posters who clearly had very different realities in terms of house prices.
The number of posters claiming that x2 salary (or less!) in a mortgage being a limit clearly have no clue about the challenges (and opportunities) faced by millions of people in this country.
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