To buy a £700k house on £67k

[Polledja]

My wife and I are looking to buy a house. I was very foolish with my money during my younger days so am behind my peers.
we want a house near a good school and houses in that area range from £550k to £700k. The ones my wife likes are at the higher end but I don’t think we can afford these. She has become withdrawn and depressed during this process and it caused allot of tension.
I have approx £280k for a deposit (this is all our savings bar £18k). We can borrow £350k based on our joint salaries of £67k. It leaves me £90k short. I think I could borrow this from family.

our net pay is £3900 per month. We would have £2000 tonoay on our mortgage leaving us with £1900 to pay everything else. We have two young kids at school. Our monthly expenses excluding our mortgage are about £1600 so it would meaning having nothing left each month

This isn’t even a question. You can’t afford it. Does she understand that?

Not at all. In fact it’s sensible.

we save and we invest wisely.

a £280,000 house with an £80,000 deposit would now cost more than £1000 per month based on nationwide’s calculator.

anyway, I don’t need to worry. I’m 38 and (thanks to the aforementioned investments and savings) have paid off my mortgage 😄

She doesn’t spend thousands on designer stuff. I’ve painted a negative picture of her but she is adamant about wanting a nice house. I guess most ppl do.

I do have friends who say "that's ridiculous, where I live you could buy a 4 bedroom detached for 250k" (or whatever).

They never live anywhere I would want actually to live, no offence. My grandfather earned a decent wage but was frugal (read: cheap) his entire life as he intended to spend it in his retirement. Then he died very suddenly of cancer when he was barely 60. Never enjoyed his hard earned, long saved saved money. No thanks, not for me. As long as I have some savings in the bank, we aren't having to scrimp and save day to day and we have reasonable confidence of job security I'm OK taking some financial risks. Can't take my money with me when I shuffle off this mortal coil.

If DH was ill and couldn't work, we have income protection and critical illness. If he died, there is life insurance. If he was made redundant he would find another job (he works in a pretty in demand field). I'm a SAHM but I do some freelance consultancy work which is a steady earner that I could easily bump up if needed. I don't want to live in a tiny house in a shit area just so I'm spending less than 20% of my income on my mortgage, "just in case".

I was bad with money in the sense I didn’t get on the property ladder when I was younger like others of my age nor did I invest it. Money comes from savings as I lived with parents

That makes no sense at all. You wouldn't be £90k short.

Fair enough to say that you wouldn't do it in op's position but saying you wouldn't do it with your x4 income is just silly.

The worry is that her idea of a 'nice house' will cost a lot in renovations, decoration, furnishings and general upkeep - none of which you will be able to afford. Not judging, just trying to steer you around some fairly obvious financial crevasses!

Yes. But most people buy what they can afford. And she (you) can’t afford this house.

Why would you need to worry about a mortgage of £1000 a month when you’re bringing in £6000??

That's a terrible idea. Don't do it. Buy what you can afford, without borrowing from family. No-one buys their dream home straight away, normally they trade up. Live with your means.

I'm confused by this op. What is your salary and what is your wife's? Are you putting £13 a year into your pension?

Exactly. £1000 a month is peanuts to someone bringing in 6k. That's just under our income and we'd be laughing at £1k housing costs a month! I can only assume that poster has loads of money going elsewhere.

You cant afford it, and why only buy once? You do what the majority do, buy a house you can afford, save for a larger one in the future

Where has she got the idea you only buy a house once ? Most people build up to bigger (seemingly better) houses over many years. Then some people will downsize as they retire.
Everyone is different but majority don't go straight into their forever home.

Not sure how you're getting mortgage offers of that amount on those salaries.
DH earns more but hasn't had figures anywhere near that when running through affordability checkers.

Buy it if she wants it but most of can agree you will be at the very front of the line in the statistics for people who are loosing their homes.

Tell your wife yes but tell her to enjoy every second in it as it won't last long.

No I wouldn't do this. It's too big a mortgage for the salary you have.

Can you not save up more of a deposit or one of you try and get a promotion? We earned approx £100k when we got a £300k mortgage (on a house bought for £400k). I wouldn't have felt comfortable going any higher.

I was surprised however that the bank offered us a mortgage of £500k! But in this cost of living crisis I would buy a cheaper house or continue to save.

Yes I’m with you on this. I don’t think I’m actually that much of a risk taker compared to people I know in real life; just compared to lots of people on here!

It’s the same with pensions, everyone is obsessed with pensions on here but two of my close family members died recently before reaching pension age and that’s coloured my view. Obviously I still pay into a pension but I don’t prioritise it as much as MN posters probably think I should.

So you can arguably afford to buy a house for £630K without asking family for help. In a falling market I think you should try making low-ball offers and see what happens.

It’s a very irresponsible and Dante thing to do and you will end up house poor will cause more depression and stress.

If she wants that type of house she should get a better job and earn more.

Champagne taste with beer money ! Ridiculous to be looking at a house which you can’t afford! After a while the big posh house will become a place that will stop you doing anything! Your wife is a fool and so are you for even entertaining it !

I had a mortgage that was half my salary for my first house. I got a tenant in to help pay the bills and lived very frugally (no car, no children) so it was fine.

However, it does not sound like you can afford this. It doesn't sound like you WANT to afford it either, but are being pressured by your wife.

Who wants to do nothing but work to pay the mortgage? Sounds like a gilded prison to me. Better to have a smaller house you can manage and still be able to have holidays etc.

Also, I have a big house. Don't underestimate how much maintenence, cleaning and gardening it takes. Is that how you want to spend your non-working time?

Holy crap. Your wife fancies a £700K house on 17K income?
That right there is the entirety of your problem.

You’ve done well to save such a large sum. Would your wife compromise a little? As I said in previous post, I was a lot like your wife. Maybe show her this thread. You want to make her happy that’s understandable, but really she needs to compromise. It’s not going to be a fun situation, living on the edge. And believe me, your wife will want to buy things for the new house. You think it’s unbearable now resisting your wife’s demands, well when she gets what she wants and you give in, you will be even more miserable living on no money for decades. A compromise is in order. Right now you’re doing all the giving in, she needs to be happy with getting some of her boxes ticked, not every single one.

Do you both work full time? If that’s what she wants perhaps you need to seriously look at how she increases her earning potential