I feel totally pathetic. I work full time in the city and my two kids have combination of pre-school/part-time nanny/their dad. My DC are 4 and 2.
DC1 is ASD - pre-school struggled to manage him at first but seems better now.
DC1 is very obsessive, and it's currently food. He doesn't actually eat loads and he's slim and active. He just asks for food constantly and talks about food all the time. Counting carrots, head in the fridge. I find brocollis in his bed and his drawers. He obviously prefers cake but he will steal anything, ask for anything, and he just talks about food all the time.
Also, he doesn't do anything. I know that sounds weird, but he isn't into anything else. He has never had a teddy, never plays with any of his toys, doesn't do colouring, can't pikc up a pen, hates sports.
DC2 does play with toys and do things, but is going through terrible twos so can be tricky but feels far more typical and dealable with
I guess all of that is be defending what my issue is - and that is I'm a terrible mum. I let them watch phones. I shout sometimes. Sometimes I let them eat sweets before 8am. Someitmes I don't brush their teeth because they're both screaming. I used to be able to take them to soft play every weekend which the older one loves but now they both want to go crazy I can't handle alone.
I am very loving. I find that bit easy. There are lots of cuddles and kisses and playing hide and seek. But I can't discipline or have any structure at all. It's a mad house. The house is disgusting. I try to introduce structure but I collapse at the first sign of trouble.
DH has them during the week for a day or so but often works all weekend.
Everyone jokes i do something to them. I am starting to dread the weekends as it's often just the three of us. I can't tell you how many times DC1 asks me for snacks. It's actually torterous. He lives in the kitchen.
I need help. I'm a terrible mum. I hear from other mums about the rules around screens or food or things like that and I'm so far away from that. I'm disciplined and in control at work, and then i collapse at home.