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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this may be psychosis?

185 replies

doritstew · 17/03/2023 23:26

My daughters dad started acting strangely the past few days. We are not together but the past few nights we have spent time together. He has turned up at my house the past few nights and has been...odd to say the least.

He seems kind of manic…not making much sense to me…speaking in very strange ways. He keeps speaking about ‘his shadow’ and power and trauma and things like that.

Speaking really fast, jumping from topic to topic, struggling to really grasp what he means and keep up. He says he feels great and isn’t taking drugs etc. He keeps speaking about protecting me and our daughter and that we are a family and how he is willing to give up his power and give it to me and daughter. He says that he's glad I I've realised to, but doesn't tell me or can't explain what I've realised. He says we need to teach our daughter before she starts academy, but doesn't tell me what we've to teach her. Very vague but yet very deep - doesn't really make sense.

He said his friend sent him a song that he believes is a personal attack on him. Listened to the song and there was nothing attacking about it at all.

He said someone at jizitsu called him a ‘cock’ under his breath whilst they were having a conversation. I said I’m sure he didn’t call you that but he was positive the guy did. He said that if you really listen you can hear what people are thinking.

I'm really quite worried but he swears he is the happiest he's ever been and he is all huggy and smily. But it's really been strange listening to him.

No hallucinations he says. AIBU?

OP posts:
KeHuyWinner · 18/03/2023 05:18

There is some crappy advice and scaremongering here, even from the claimed professionals.

Google the local crisis team and call them and they'll advise you. Share your concerns with his family too

Fancylike · 18/03/2023 05:33

Please please please get paramedics to him. The fixation on protecting is really concerning. My co-worker was killed by her son who heard his “angel” (his shadow!) telling him to protect family from the evils of the world. In psychosis, he reasoned that death would protect them until he could bring her back with his powers.

Don’t let him near you until he is under medical supervision.

Joystir59 · 18/03/2023 05:45

Adrelaxzz · 17/03/2023 23:32

These are the same thing.

Psychosis is a symptom of schizophrenia! Bipolar disorder is a completely different mental illnss

Franceen · 18/03/2023 06:10

I am NOT trained in psychology but I know a table from a chair. There is clearly something seriously wrong with him. It has a menacing aspect. He has lost control of his mind, and rationality. He seems to be paranoid.
Now, I dont care what people say - this guy is not in the right state of mind.
You do not and should not care whether he uses drugs or whatever - the fact is, he is not right and it is a potential threat.

He must accept help or keep him away from your home. Stop wondering about being right or wrong or whether answers on here are from trained psychiatrists or armchair advisers --- he is not right, you are concerned. Thats it!!

SparklyShoesandTutus · 18/03/2023 06:17

Adrelaxzz · 17/03/2023 23:32

These are the same thing.

They are absolutely not the same.

shattered25 · 18/03/2023 06:23

doritstew · 17/03/2023 23:46

He has now left, so I can't keep an eye on him. Daughter is with me obviously. He wasn't being aggressive in the slightest. In fact was being overly nice, told me he loves me, he will always protect us and was listening and asking questions. However would then start going on again about his shadow. Kept saying that he is a monster and is capable of terrible things but he has accepted that and is trying to be kind. I wish I could write exactly what he said but it was so confusing I can hardly make enough sense of it to write it here

Problem is when I've experienced psychosis is it can turn and get dark very quickly. I can come across elated and confident then as it progresses I get paranoid and will turn :( I can't go near weed due to it exacerbating underlying mental health, tbh I can't drink either as it triggers episodes. :( I would call up first response or 111. I think the situation is too delicate for GP, even if they are concerned they can only do referrals which will take too long, or go through first response anyway x

MrsPerfect12 · 18/03/2023 06:38

I hope you've had a restful night.
Did the brother or friend reply back having noticed it themselves?
I wonder if approaching a crisis team together with everything that has been heard by all of you would have more affect when reporting this.
Wishing you the best of luck

Zonder · 18/03/2023 06:39

Hope he has got some help.

knittingaddict · 18/03/2023 06:50

My mil was psychotic and this sounds like psychosis. He needs medical help obviously. Getting it is another matter, but at this level I think there's a good chance of getting it. Mental health provision is awful in this country so it may require lots of pushing to get there, but I hope he gets the help he needs.

If you get even a hint that you aren't safe, even if it's just a gut instinct, then you need to protect yourself and your children before anything else.

knittingaddict · 18/03/2023 06:57

Franceen · 18/03/2023 06:10

I am NOT trained in psychology but I know a table from a chair. There is clearly something seriously wrong with him. It has a menacing aspect. He has lost control of his mind, and rationality. He seems to be paranoid.
Now, I dont care what people say - this guy is not in the right state of mind.
You do not and should not care whether he uses drugs or whatever - the fact is, he is not right and it is a potential threat.

He must accept help or keep him away from your home. Stop wondering about being right or wrong or whether answers on here are from trained psychiatrists or armchair advisers --- he is not right, you are concerned. Thats it!!

I agree with every word of this. Mental illness doesn't automatically mean danger to others, but it certainly can in some cases. My mil was a tiny old woman for most of the time I knew her. She was not safe to be around physically when she was at her worst. She can and did hurt people. Now replace her with a physically stronger man.

You can get him the help he needs and protect yourself at the same time. I would argue that he shouldn't be around his children at the moment.

ThisNameIsNotAvailable · 18/03/2023 06:58

Joystir59 · 18/03/2023 05:45

Psychosis is a symptom of schizophrenia! Bipolar disorder is a completely different mental illnss

Psychosis is also a feature of lots of other things

FlowerGlassVase · 18/03/2023 07:10

doritstew · 17/03/2023 23:33

He's a frequent marijuana user

This sounds exactly like my family member, who was also a regular user then got drug induced psychosis. They are on medication now and it’s managed with only a few blips over the years.

olympicsrock · 18/03/2023 07:14

Yes - this sounds like psychosis ( or possibly mania as part of manic depression) .
He needs urgent medical attention and should not be allowed access to your child at the moment.

WalterWitty · 18/03/2023 07:18

Toomuchtoolong · 17/03/2023 23:35

Drug induced psychosis/ paranoia and altered thoughts due to cannabis use!

This.

winningeasy · 18/03/2023 07:37

Sounds scary OP, are you in touch with his parents/siblings/best friends? I think you should try to shield your daughter from this and hand over the responsibility to someone else. He's your ex after all x

whyhere · 18/03/2023 07:39

Blueuggboots · 17/03/2023 23:27

Yes, sounds like psychosis or a manic episode in bipolar.

Exactly this

BlackKittyMama · 18/03/2023 07:45

OP I am a nurse in a sepcialist psychosis team. Definitely sounds like he could be experiencing a psychotic episode, but there could be other causes for his behaviour and he would really need to be assessed ASAP. The tricky part is that if he thinks he is well, and he is currently not a risk to himself or other people, then you are limited in what you can do. If he was willing to see a professional, you/he can contact your local early intervention service, or ask his GP to. They have to assess him within 2 weeks, but they can't do so without his consent.

TolkiensFallow · 18/03/2023 07:46

I’m a mental health professional. He’s clearly very unwell.

The best things to do are to try and speak to his GP/out of hours for an urgent referral to the mental health team. The GP could prescribe some medication but whether they do varies from GP to GP. You can sometimes self refer to mental health teams but a GP referral carries weight as they can share their clinical assessment.

You could also Google your local mental health trust and see what their crisis team or mental health out of hours offer is.

A&E is another option IF he’ll go. They have a mental health liaison team there who would assess but it can be a long wait and I wonder if your ex would manage to stay.

Some posters here seem to associate psychosis with danger - to reassure you this isn’t normally the case but if you start to feel particularly uncomfortable with what he says about you or the children then listen to your instincts.

Perhaps it would help to speak to his family and see if they can help.

georgarina · 18/03/2023 07:48

Yes definitely psychosis
Have heard seeing shadows, being evil but trying to be good, and having cracked the secret of life from a psychotic family member
He says no hallucinations but is seeing and hearing things (shadows, insults)
Definitely call police for a wellness check

Dawn884 · 18/03/2023 07:52

Sounds like drugs if pupils are dilated.

BlackKittyMama · 18/03/2023 07:53

Those saying he should be "sectioned" don't understand the law. It's not that straight forward. If you are concerned for anyone's safety OP then please contact emergency services. The police are not able to pick him up from his home address without a warrent, but they can intervene if he is behaving in a risky way in public or if he is making you feel unsafe. The other emergency option is an ambulance. If he is picked up by emergency services he will be assessed initially and then a mental health act assessment only if deemed necessary. If he can be treated/supported safely in the community then they will always offer that option.

BlackKittyMama · 18/03/2023 07:54

Also drug induced psychosis is still psychosis

napody · 18/03/2023 07:56

winningeasy · 18/03/2023 07:37

Sounds scary OP, are you in touch with his parents/siblings/best friends? I think you should try to shield your daughter from this and hand over the responsibility to someone else. He's your ex after all x

I'm surprised that you're the first person who has suggested this. He clearly needs help but does he have a next of kin who can take on seeking it? For one thing, the police/crisis team would be much more likely to take them seriously that they would be his ex!

LakieLady · 18/03/2023 08:07

This sounds very like the sort of thing my bipolar brother has come out with in the early stages of a manic episode, OP.

However, DB is also a heavy cannabis user, has been since his early teens, so I suspect that there's a drug-induced element to it.

Dymaxion · 18/03/2023 08:09

Hope you and his family manage to get him the help it sounds like he needs.