DSS and X-Box

[Hop27]

DSS is 15, he stays with us on and off. No set pattern, just comes to us when it suits him, his mum. He recently asked if he could upgrade his X-Box, DH and I agreed he could trade in his old PS and X-box and use his (DH funded) pocket money to bridge the gap but he was short 150 so I gave him the extra cash. He has an X-box at his mum's but it's an older version.
He needed to pick up something for School whilst we were out so DH told him to let himself in to collect what he needed, and to grab any other 'kit' he needed (meaning clothes, it's the word we use, do you need kit washing for school / sport / going out etc) DH went into his room and the bloody x-box is gone. AIBU to think he should have asked if he could take it, and that it needs to be brought back. For one he won't come over if his x-box isn't here and I don't really want it damaged being bringing it backwards and forwards every couple of days. It's not like he can throw it in his bag for school like a pair of trainers or tee.
Or is it DSS's to do with as he pleases?

I still don't get your POV at all!
Would his dad have said no if he had of asked?
What difference does it make to you or his dad if he takes it to his mums!?

Well clearly she could afford it and thought it was worth it for something he'd enjoy. Although only at her house apparently.

It his Xbox. It’s not his fault he needs to live between 2 homes because his parents are separated. Why should he only be able to use the newer console part time? As long as he’s careful transporting it, it’s fine.

This

I have a DSD and I'd be really annoyed about buying them something to have at our house to find she'd taken it to her mums. It's not a phone and isn't made for being taken back and forth. Plus if he wants a new x box at his mums house, she should be the one buying it, not you.

Some of the responses on here are unbelievable! The bed in his room is his too - would it be ok if op came home to find he'd taken that too?!

One would hope his father has provided a bed without expecting DSS to trade in his own possessions for it.

DH went into his room and the bloody x-box is gone. AIBU to think he should have asked if he could take it, and that it needs to be brought back

No. If you wanted it left at your house, YOU should have made that clear.

You told the lad he was going to have an X-box.
You didn't tell him it was a conditional gift, & that he was only allowed to have it at your place.

You seem to believe that you have ownership of the damn thing.

YABU.

It would be a waste of money if a brand new xbox is left at his dad's house largely unplayed.

I'm sure he will bring it with him when he nexts visits. My DS (same age) regularly takes his xbox to sleepovers with friends and his friends bring their Xboxes and even TVs with them when they come here! DS would've taken the damned thing abroad on holiday with him had we not put our foot down.

You did a nice thing subbing him the £150 by the way but I wouldn't put conditions on the ownership.

He traded in his PlayStation, his Xbox and used his pocket money to buy the new console. The new console should be his to enjoy at either home. Just let him enjoy playing his new Xbox.

It’s hardly the same as a bed. A bed is a basic item his mum and dad should be providing at their own expense in each home.

If his dad bought the new Xbox himself as a family console then that would be different and should stay at dad’s house. But that’s not the case.

The Xbox doesn’t “live” in your house. It’s an object that belongs to your stepson.

why would you not be happy for him to use it any time any any place he wants? Did you only pay for it so that your house is the place with the “better” things and at his mums he needs to use older versions?

You're getting a hard time because you're the step mum.

Most mothers would be unhappy if their kid took something out of their house, something that they'd contributed to, and took to their exes house.

This is untrue.
It's nothing to do with her being SM. It's to do with there being no rationale to her argument. His console that he paid for (aside from the money that was gifted to him) being taken to the place where he spends most of his time.

I don’t understand this at all. It’s no different to him taking a pair of trainers or coat or mobile phone back to his mums.

It is his property and he can do what he likes with it.

OP out of curiosity, why did DP go into his room? Was he checking on the Xbox? If so, he's a dick for not communicating with his DS.

If he will actually bring it back and forth and it's safe to do so I think that's ok, but if it will end up just being at his mum's that would annoy me.

how is that relevant

Why would take a tv when he obviously has one to use at his Mums? YABVU. It's his and if he wants to take it to his Mums to use or even to his friends house then it's completely his choice. I don't get why you're being so territorial about it when it doesn't affect you even the slightest

“and took to their exes house.”

It’s not just a case of taking it to the ex’s house, it’s the child’s home too. If a child has to live between 2 homes then they should be able to be comfortable at both homes and take their belongings they want between both homes.

If your gift came with conditions, you should have told him.

As it is, he didn't agree to these terms and it's his property. He can take it where he wants at his own risk.

The x box replaced two consoles he had at op's house, and he needed £150 of their money to buy it.

To me, it's obvious op gave him money because it was to keep at his dad's house.

It's really hard to keep teens entertained and now there's even less to do at his dad's.

And I think the fact he took it when everyone was out, without telling them, suggests he knows it wasn't on.

I wonder how happy his mum would be if he started bringing stuff from his bedroom at her house, and relocating it to op's.

It’s kind of irrelevant how happy or unhappy his mum would be. Just as OP’s feelings are irrelevant in this scenario.
It’s his property, end of. He’s 15 and shouldn’t need permission or consult anyone on things like this.

I disagree that op's feelings are irrelevant. OP asks if she's reasonable to think he should've asked and to think that he should now bring it back. I think he should've asked and I think he should now bring it back. He didn't save up and buy it himself. He asked op for £150 which I'm sure implied - as she certainly thought - that it would be kept at her house. He also pex two devices from her house which I expect she and her dp bought.